CancerK Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Just a bit of info. I'm at wit's end trying to figure this out for myself. Any help from people here would be much appreciated. My ex and I had been dating for about a year. We separated recently and I suggested not talking to each other for awhile to allow us to get over each other. She adamantly said that this was not possible for her, and she would probably break it. However, she says shes "not sure" of whether she likes me in that way anymore. This may be because we argued a few days ago, and as a result we've both been feeling distant towards each other. I'm sure she felt the same way before the argument. This is normal after an argument right(wasnt even a huge fight)? Do arguments make the other feel like they don't have feelings for the other person for awhile sometimes? What do you guys think? Does she still like me in that way? Is it possible to lose feelings for someone after a week? And no..there is no other guy. Before you go off on me about still contacting after breaking up, I think we're both unsure of whether it was the best way to go, and I'd like to sort this out before i go NC. It seems like this forum has some cold hard advice, and maybe..I need to hear it from someone that NC at this stage is definitely the way to go. I can't seem to convince myself.
Icantletgo Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Um. My ex still contacts me to "talk" and he sees me as PURELY a friend now. I am MISERABLE. Unrequited love honey, that's what it becomes. Tell her to leave you alone. Have that strength. I didn't. And I'm MISERABLE. I seriously feel like i'm shattered. Good luck.
2ndIINone Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Good, solid long term NC is meant to give YOU the time away from the ex to sort out your feelings. Time to reflect on the relationship... time to set/re-enforce boundaries that were crossed. Some say.... it gives the ex some time to 'think' when they are 'unsure' as you put it. You'd be surprised how 'being ignored' can bring out feelings you thought you never had and were unsure about. The problem with NOT goin' NC is .....the ex will continue to call and talk and 'use' you as a doormat, an ego boost.... the fights happen cause usually one of the two still has strong feelings and act on those feelings, while the other just doesn't wanna hear em'. Causing friction and pressure.. Hopefully, you goin' NC for awhile, will help prepare you (stronger self asteem) for 'handling her' when she wants to talk. Or maybe who knows??? When you are ready to talk to her... you may find she ISN'T the one you want. The bottomline is... if you brought it up to her and she denied, then you're doing things on her terms.... NOT fair to you. If she makes things uncomfortable for you when talking to her, then you are RIGHT for wanting no contact and shouldn't need to warn her OR don't need her permission to do it.
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