Kwo-ne'-she Posted April 16, 2007 Posted April 16, 2007 Why do men come after you full steam (lovingly worded emails, romantic gestures, etc) wanting to shout from the rooftops that they love you...... only to completely slack off within a few months of "getting" you? WHY do they do this?? It is so frustrating.
nancyleeh Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Just my opinion but I think it is because a lot of men are actually insecure and think they have to build themselves up so the woman is attracted to them. It's hard to keep up a false front so when the chase is done, the mask comes off. Let's not forget that women often do the same thing to men. If a man comes on to strong you probably will be in for a let down later on. Might be that the guy who takes it slow, is less showy and over powering may be a wiser choice. At least you know what your getting from the get go. nancyleeh
Ariadne Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Hi, only to completely slack off within a few months of "getting" you? Because after they got to know you the realized that you were not what they were hoping to find. Ariadne
Trialbyfire Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Just my opinion but I think it is because a lot of men are actually insecure and think they have to build themselves up so the woman is attracted to them. It's hard to keep up a false front so when the chase is done, the mask comes off. Let's not forget that women often do the same thing to men. I agree with this. Big promises, little delivery. When the girl realizes it's all smoke and mirrors, it's like getting blindsided.
someone2 Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Hi, only to completely slack off within a few months of "getting" you? Because after they got to know you the realized that you were not what they were hoping to find. Ariadne Haha, this is just mean, and not true at all. It is just something in the male psychology I guess. We still have the same amount of love in our hearts, but we slow down with all the romantic gestures for some reason.
Citizen Erased Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Because human beings are generally lazy when it comes to keeping a relationship fresh.
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 Just my opinion but I think it is because a lot of men are actually insecure and think they have to build themselves up so the woman is attracted to them. It's hard to keep up a false front so when the chase is done, the mask comes off. Let's not forget that women often do the same thing to men. If a man comes on to strong you probably will be in for a let down later on. Might be that the guy who takes it slow, is less showy and over powering may be a wiser choice. At least you know what your getting from the get go. nancyleeh Very good points. And yes, women do that to men also, I've seen it time and time again.
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 Hi, only to completely slack off within a few months of "getting" you? Because after they got to know you the realized that you were not what they were hoping to find. Ariadne LOL That could well be. But then, if the woman attempts to end things, and he begins the chase & charm all over again.....?
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 Haha, this is just mean, and not true at all. It is just something in the male psychology I guess. We still have the same amount of love in our hearts, but we slow down with all the romantic gestures for some reason. Why? That is the explanation I am looking for. Could you go into more detail? Is it simply laziness? Lack of interest in romance? The feeling that now you have us ~ so you don't have to keep trying so hard?
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 Because human beings are generally lazy when it comes to keeping a relationship fresh. I suppose that could be. I have met people who never stopped the romancing, and others who always seem to let it fall by the wayside.
2ndIINone Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Because human beings are generally lazy when it comes to keeping a relationship fresh. best answer IMO. As it includes both men and women. Every relationship has it's honeymoon period... where it's fun to bring flowers, cards... surprises... after the honeymoon period ends... it's inevitable that the little fights and arguements start. Now the flowers and cards say... "I'm sorry, please forgive?".... temporary honeymoon phase... the little tidbit fights start again... the flowers and surprises end because, well.... they only worked temporarily before..... soon enough... nothing.... more fights... true colors and red flags are flying high.... the break up... the registration on LS.... the first thread... "Hey, my bf/gf broke up, what do I do?":sick: NO CONTACT!!!!!!!Find someone else!!!!!! is usually the answer from everyone who use to give and get romantic gestures....
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 best answer IMO. As it includes both men and women. Every relationship has it's honeymoon period... where it's fun to bring flowers, cards... surprises... after the honeymoon period ends... it's inevitable that the little fights and arguements start. Now the flowers and cards say... "I'm sorry, please forgive?".... temporary honeymoon phase... the little tidbit fights start again... the flowers and surprises end because, well.... they only worked temporarily before..... soon enough... nothing.... more fights... true colors and red flags are flying high.... the break up... the registration on LS.... the first thread... "Hey, my bf/gf broke up, what do I do?":sick: NO CONTACT!!!!!!!Find someone else!!!!!! is usually the answer from everyone who use to give and get romantic gestures.... Ok, that had me laughing. I'm not quite ready to trade him in yet, call me hardheaded, but I don't throw in the towel so easily. (I was married 20 yrs to a VA/PA man)
someone2 Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Why? That is the explanation I am looking for. Could you go into more detail? Is it simply laziness? Lack of interest in romance? The feeling that now you have us ~ so you don't have to keep trying so hard? Ok, I will try. It is hard to think about things you do so naturally. It is simply that the "chase" really really depletes our energy. We have lots of other things we want to do. The "chase" keeps you in a state of uncertainty, sometimes even anxiety. I know men who fell so deeply in love it actually destroyed every other aspect of their lives. So, once we get past this stage, we want to sit back and relax. Take a deep breath, and enjoy life with the girl. *sigh* If Only girls were a little bit more understanding about it:o
Author Kwo-ne'-she Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 Ok, I will try. It is hard to think about things you do so naturally. It is simply that the "chase" really really depletes our energy. We have lots of other things we want to do. The "chase" keeps you in a state of uncertainty, sometimes even anxiety. I know men who fell so deeply in love it actually destroyed every other aspect of their lives. So, once we get past this stage, we want to sit back and relax. Take a deep breath, and enjoy life with the girl. *sigh* If Only girls were a little bit more understanding about it:o Fair enough. And I hope it came across that I don't expect a man to chase me, and bend over backwards to please me. I'm actually very easy to please. It just baffles me why, in the beginning, a guy will come on SO strong, and then it drops to nothing. Of course, if you say maybe it isn't working, he pulls out all the stops again. Why not continue to put a little effort into showing the other person you still love them, instead of just expecting them to know it? Very frustrating.
sweetscarlet Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Why do men come after you full steam (lovingly worded emails' date=' romantic gestures, etc) wanting to shout from the rooftops that they love you...... only to completely slack off within a few months of "getting" you? WHY do they do this?? It is so frustrating.[/quote'] You don't see male peacocks showing their feathers after they've mated, do you? Problem with this is.....female peacocks don't care if the males show their feathers after mating with her. Female humans DO. One of the downfalls of humans developing emotions I guess.
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 You don't see male peacocks showing their feathers after they've mated, do you? Problem with this is.....female peacocks don't care if the males show their feathers after mating with her. Female humans DO. One of the downfalls of humans developing emotions I guess. Peafowls mate during one season where peacocks sometimes practice polygamy. Peahens get to pick the peacock, get some...have chicks to raise for less than a year. Next season, she selects a different or same mate. Screw the bonds of eternal love. I'd rather be like a peahen, where I can get a hook up and have/raise children, all in one year. Then next season, I get to pick a different guy who catches my eye and do it all over again. Of course I would use birth control...
pelagicsands Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Screw the bonds of eternal love. Finally, the truth comes out. I don't blame you for not being into bondage, though. I prefer the freedom to express my love indiscriminately.
Ariadne Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Hi, LOL That could well be. But then, if the woman attempts to end things, and he begins the chase & charm all over again.....? It's not very common for guys to do that. And I meant what I said before in general. Ariadne
sweetscarlet Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Peafowls mate during one season where peacocks sometimes practice polygamy. Peahens get to pick the peacock, get some...have chicks to raise for less than a year. Next season, she selects a different or same mate. Screw the bonds of eternal love. I'd rather be like a peahen, where I can get a hook up and have/raise children, all in one year. Then next season, I get to pick a different guy who catches my eye and do it all over again. Of course I would use birth control... The problem lies in that our children don't grow up in a year like theirs do. So they're needed to stick around for at least 18 years and a lot of them can't keep up the affection for more than a year. So then they want to have sex and the woman feels like that's all she is because he's never affectionate otherwise and it builds resentment so she withdraws. And since she withdraws sexually, he gets more distant and soon they're talking like they're roommates. And this is why divorce lawyers make a lot of money.
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Finally, the truth comes out. I don't blame you for not being into bondage, though. I prefer the freedom to express my love indiscriminately. Then spread those tail feathers and see who you attract. Keep in mind that the peahen(s) gets the final choice and you can only mate within a specific season. The balance of the year, you get to wander around asexually... The problem lies in that our children don't grow up in a year like theirs do. So they're needed to stick around for at least 18 years and a lot of them can't keep up the affection for more than a year. So then they want to have sex and the woman feels like that's all she is because he's never affectionate otherwise and it builds resentment so she withdraws. And since she withdraws sexually, he gets more distant and soon they're talking like they're roommates. And this is why divorce lawyers make a lot of money. Then it's high time women stop withdrawing and demand their rights to more tail feather spreading but only in a monogamous way. Btw, within captivity, there has been monogamous pairings by peafowl. Goes to show that it's not impossible if fettered properly...
pelagicsands Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 The balance of the year, you get to wander around asexually... Well, we must love ourselves before we can love another. I guess I will probably be able to handle it.
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Well, we must love ourselves before we can love another. I guess I will probably be able to handle it. Men tend to love themselves regularly...
pelagicsands Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Men tend to love themselves regularly... What are you talking about, you silly woman?! I don't think I have ever stopped loving myself.
Trialbyfire Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 What are you talking about, you silly woman?! I don't think I have ever stopped loving myself. Since I'm only affirming your comments, how can I be silly? Are you misunderstanding my position?
pelagicsands Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 Since I'm only affirming your comments, how can I be silly? Yeah, sorry. I take it back (not that it was ever really put out). Are you misunderstanding my position? Well, I can only hope.
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