Starry-eyed Posted April 16, 2007 Posted April 16, 2007 I feel like I'm dying inside. I moved to an apartment over the weekend and all of last week and still up to today I can't stop crying and am having massive anxiety. I feel so sad and lonely inside. My new apartment feels so empty and foreign and lonely. I just want to curl up and disappear. And yet...I'm the one wanting the divorce, so this is my choice. But I'm very worried about money (it's a financial risk to move out so soon because if our house doesn't seel soon it'll go into foreclosure). I also have a terrible situation at work with massive anxiety. I'm starting a relationship with another person, and it's fine so far, but the only times lately I don't feel completely anxious or like crying and depressed are when I'm with him. And I'm not with him that much and it's wrong to have another person be your medication or salvation, if you know what I mean. I just feel so alone and scared. I know I have to go through this, and I will be stronger later, it's just very difficult. Anyone else ever feel this way and how did you cope with it? Did things eventually get better? Thanks!
2ndIINone Posted April 16, 2007 Posted April 16, 2007 I could be wrong for thinkin' this... but you don't sound like a person who should've jumped into another relationship right away. You have to learn to live alone, love yourself, be by yourself and NOT rely on anyone else to make you happy other then you. You kinda/sorta come off as a woman who HAS to be with someone out of fear of being alone. That's not a good way to start off a relationship.
Author Starry-eyed Posted April 19, 2007 Author Posted April 19, 2007 Hi 2ndiinone, I didn't realize I came off as someone who needs to be in a relationship, I certainly don't think of myself that way. There are just several things that coincided and affected each other. And my new relationship is really the least of my issues and not the cause for any of my problems or anything. In fact, I am taking time to be by myself and learn to love myself more. I'm not looking to jump totally into something else, and I'm not. It's just that finally taking tangible, risky steps to go out on your own can be really scary. I'm one of those dinosaurs who don't like change, in general. Things are better for me. I'm looking forward more to apartment now and getting stuff put away. I'm the source of my own happiness. Well, me and lorazepam!
AFarAwayPlace Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 Starry-eyed, are you alone as is no kids, no pets as well? If so, it might help to get a kitty or a puppy, just something you can devote time to, nurture, spend time getting to know yourself and loving something other than a man. This is advice I could take as well.
Storyrider Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 Hope you're doing OK SE. Hang in there. This has to be normal and expected with such a big change. Don't try to rush yourself. Just know that it will start to feel better eventually.
johnny236 Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 Hi SE, I'm in almost the exact same situation, so I can relate. I just moved into an apartment after breaking off my marriage of 5 years. I've never even lived alone before. It's been really rough. I got into a new relationship too, but that turned pretty bad due to my marriage issues, so now I'm dealing with that as well. I've just been trying to keep my brain occupied, I've been going out a little bit more, and trying to get back into the things that I love to do, like my photography. Is it working? Not yet. But I hope that eventually it will start to brighten up. Just listen to what people say on here, stick it out, try to be by yourself and just keep yourself busy. Sitting around makes everything start to crash around me again, so now I try to avoid it. Good luck!
Victoria101 Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 I know how you feel. I'm not married but I just moved out of my moms house because she's a bitch but thats how most mothers are! I don't know exactly how to put this so i'll tell you my story. Wed. April 18,2007 I skipped school with my friend Jasmine who I lived with including my mom her mom and her grandpa and this other lady Cindy. Well we didn't plan on running away and we didn't. Someone saw Jasmine leave or whatever and they called our house. She's in middle school and I'm in high school. So they found out at different times. We walked around all day planning on sneaking back to school and catching the bus but when we were walking her mom drove by and saw us. We started to run and then they saw us again so we gave up and got in the vehicle! See me and my mom do not get along and when they brought me to the school house the couselor wanted to talk to me alone and she asked me what i wanted to do and i told her i wanted to go into foster care! My step-sister went through the same thing. no one wants me to go there though. Everyone wants me to move in with them like my sister my step-sister my boyfriend and my ex's mom. i want to move in with my ex's mom cause i love her but my bf will probably think i don't like him anymore and i'll get back with my ex but i wont at least i don't think i will. All i'm trying to tell you is that your married you almost know what you want not a lot of people can help you but you can make a good choice this is coming from a 16 year old thats confused in life too. try to make your marriage work cause you had to marry him for a reason. Sorry if i couldn't help and your welcome if i did GOOD LUCK IN LIFE AND DO WHAT YOU THINK IS BEST FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
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