Cardinal64 Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Hello again. Question - should I tell the spouse of the OM that my wife had an affair with (maybe she still is from time to time for all I know - I moved out of the house over 3 months ago by the way - ) her husband cheated on her with my wife? This eventually led to our separation - just couldn't take this nonsense anymore. During this time - my "lovely wife" has become involved with another man - about 10 years younger than her. From what I heard through the grapevine - this new guy "runs around". So the chance of someone getting some friggin disease is highly possible. What would you do? The OM's wife is the second cousin of my wife - so both know each other fairly well. She apparently does not have a clue about her husband's extra-marital affair. I know she would be highly pissed off at my wife . Or should I let them all deal with it... since I'm separated from my wife - why should I give a s... anymore? She hurt me enough. Cardinal64
whichwayisup Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Seeing as the OM is no longer part of your wife's life anymore, there really is no need to tell the OM's wife. You don't know if she found out or suspected him, maybe they went to marriage counselling...Either way, it isn't your place to tell her now. UNLESS she falls back into an affair with him, then you could tell OM's wife.
Sup Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 WELLLLLLL, let me see, If they're related, and you KNOW about this, I suggest YES tell her quick, over the phone, what he's been doing with your wife, her cousin. I mean, you don't know if they're still friends with benifits or not, that means that her cousin could/WILL pick up anything spread to her husband, then to her. IMO, it's your responsibility to tell her everything!
LakesideDream Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Truth be told, if a little "payback" would make you feel better, by all means rat her out... (and him). Women who cheat on their husbands, and get caught do not deserve the cloak of annonimity.. same goes for men. Hopefully if the OM's wife divorces him, she will leave him homeless and penniless, better to ponder participating in the destruction of your home, marriage, and family.
norajane Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Yes, tell her. She doesn't need to pick up some dreadful disease from her philandering husband, especially if he might still be hooking up with your wife who's now hooking up with a player. And she ought to know what her hubby is doing behind her back...odds are he won't stop cheating since he had the audacity to do it with a member of her family, of all things. Why protect the cheater? Getting away with it is what makes them think they are entitled to do it again.
Batman7 Posted April 16, 2007 Posted April 16, 2007 You need to really think about the reasons you want to tell her. if it's to proetect her from some STD, then by all means. If it's just for payback, is it something your going to be proud of as time passes and you move on? Your already gone, and will find happiness at some point and none of this is going to matter anymore. I think your probably a much better person than she is. It's your call brother.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 16, 2007 Posted April 16, 2007 What would you do? The OM's wife is the second cousin of my wife - so both know each other fairly well. She apparently does not have a clue about her husband's extra-marital affair. I know she would be highly pissed off at my wife . Or should I let them all deal with it... since I'm separated from my wife - why should I give a s... anymore? She hurt me enough. Cardinal64 Hell yes...tell his wife...she deserves to know what a jackass she is married to. And I hope she gouges both their eyes out.
Trialbyfire Posted April 16, 2007 Posted April 16, 2007 The OM's wife is the second cousin of my wife Unbelievable... Your ex is something else. Trolling her way through relatives. I've always been of the belief that full disclosure is better, so that the betrayed are empowered to make an educated decision. There's a reason why HIV continues to run rampant and it isn't because of the abysmal quality of latex these days. It's called trusting your "committed" partner.
Sup Posted April 16, 2007 Posted April 16, 2007 Truth be told, if a little "payback" would make you feel better, by all means rat her out... (and him). Women who cheat on their husbands, and get caught do not deserve the cloak of annonimity.. same goes for men. Hopefully if the OM's wife divorces him, she will leave him homeless and penniless, better to ponder participating in the destruction of your home, marriage, and family. Payback is a little strong, but, I would think of it as a little combo deal. Save her cousin from an STD, and inform her how much love is in her family. She's gonna need help to get that knife out of her back! By the way....... Just out of curiosity, is her cousin HOT? What I mean is, if she is, and all this crap makes her wanna leave him, well you could marry her an- well, maybe that won't be good, ANYWHOOO continue to move on, and protect yourself, house and all. OK?
JustBreathe Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 Do tell the wife PLEASE. The only good thing about my H's affair with the office mattress is that she told me (she wanted him to leave me!) This prompted a confession on his part of all the previous affairs as well (I had no idea, of course). It changed both our lives, some for the better as he got the therapy he needed, and some for the worse. Do it NOT because you want to get even, but because he deserves a chance to live his life with full knowledge of what kind of woman he is married to (maybe she will seek help); He deserves a chance to find someone who will love him completely, just like you do; I have read over and over where the unsuspecting spouse gets an STD from an unfaithful wife (and vice versa). Have you gotten tested? Don't laugh! It happens all the time. I had myself tested and my husband got tested as well.
Jinxx Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 Or should I let them all deal with it... since I'm separated from my wife - why should I give a s... anymore? She hurt me enough. This is the best way to handle it. Take the high road on this.
mopar crazy Posted April 21, 2007 Posted April 21, 2007 WH's xOW H's came and told me about their A and we were seperated, even going through a D (he filed). Even though I knew something was going on I didn't have near as many facts as he did. He gave me everything that I needed to know that they were definitely having an A and I thanked him over and over again. I deserved to know and so does every BS. JMO! If you can't do it personally, how about a letter?
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