Author HopefulOne Posted April 26, 2007 Author Posted April 26, 2007 He texted again and finally I texted back. Sorry to hear you are going crazy, sorry for the slow response but I was out at the baseball game. Hope things get better for you soon.
dropdeadlegs Posted April 27, 2007 Posted April 27, 2007 I can see that this isn't going to be easy for you, HopefulOne. Once we have accepted certain behaviors from our SO, it is often hard to change their behavior, as well as our reactions to it. The threads that I have been a part of with you in this situation have mostly been left kind of open-ended. I'm not sure how things get resolved when he decides to let you back into his life again. How does that usually play out? Do you cry, demand answers, hear something satisfactory, and set new boundaries? Are you so relieved that you almost go on as if nothing has happened? I'm not clear of anything other than he draws you back in somehow. I don't know if it happens slowly or if he jumps back in with both feet. Whatever your answers, you have a couple options. 1)Assuming this has never been done, set VERY clear boundaries that this will never happen again, that if he chooses to disappear for any amount of time that you will not be available anymore. If he needs space form you, he will get more than space, he will get complete absence. Then DO IT when this happens again in a few months. 2) Say you have had enough of this emotional rollercoaster and won't be taking another ride. Say that you have cried your last tear and bid him farewell. 3) Let him back in the way he has always reentered the picture and be back on LS this summer posting yet another version of the same sad story. Personally, I hope you choose number two and let this be the last time he hurts you so much. By this summer you may find a new beau that wants to be a part of your world all the time. However, it is your life and you will do whatever you need to do to salvage the relationship or end your continued suffering within it. It's easy for me to say leave him because I don't have any history invested, all I see is this horrible thing he does with relative frequency (stomping on your heart) and while he is whiling away time, I see you nearly in shambles time and again. You are worth so much more than the value he places on you.
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