New Jersey Posted December 28, 2002 Posted December 28, 2002 I am pretty confused now. This girl and I both like each other, but the other day we went out for the first time. Now since i dont really know how fast she wants to take it, i decided to take it slow and not make many advances on her. A couple hours after i droppped her off, she called me and complained why i didint try and hook up with her. I told her why and got even **** about how she doesnt think i like her. today, i called her to see if we could go out again and suddenly she tells me she just wants to be friends. Now this practically breaks my heart. I started talking to her about 4 months ago after she brok up with her boyfriend. When i finally got the courage to tell her how i felt, she told me she felt the same way, but didnt want to start anything because she was feeling a little insecure about just breaking up with her boyfriend. A month or two later, she tells me that she is ready to go out with me, just not yet because she thinks i still do drugs (even though i've been sober for about 3 months for her) I talk to some of her friends, and with her, and she believes me about the whole drugs deal. Finally we get to go out, and im planning to ask her out, make some moves etc. like i stated before. But one of my psuedo-friends tags along and ruins practically everything. I do nothing and the situation above rears its ugly head. I really like this girl and i would give anything to go out with her, but she seems to have made it clear that she wants a friendship, and not a realtionship. I know that she does indeed like me, but i still have no clue why she doesnt want to go out. Her nest excuse is "I like being single". She also doesn't think i like her because i didint try anything on her when we went out. I dont know whether to give up, or keep trying. Im not really sure i have a chance, and i really care for this girl. To sum this entire post up, should I keep trying to start something with her, or just give up and remain "friends", even though it will be better just to stop talking to her at all because i will feel awkward as hell even looking at her.
Tony T Posted December 28, 2002 Posted December 28, 2002 Yeah, be her good friend. But flirt with her...constantly. Touch her now and then, put your arm around her shoulder for short periods. Slowly but surely you'll win her heart. Right now, her ego's all bruised because she's never gone out with a gentleman like you who respects her and goes slow on the physical stuff. She's used to guys moving in very rapidly. She's obviously had a pretty pathetic lovelife. When she sees just how wonderful it is to be with somebody who respects her and desires to take things slow, she'll love you forever. Don't even worry for half a second. You can have this chick eating out of you hand in no time. Just have confidence in yourself, keep your chin high, and play along with her game. You can win this one pretty easily.
Author New Jersey Posted December 28, 2002 Author Posted December 28, 2002 One problem i have with her is the fact that im leaving for college soon. Its now december (almost january) and i am leaving next school year. We just had this conversation like an hour ago and she usually speaks her mind (i think. . .), and she made it clear that she just wants to be friends. I even asked her if there is any chance at all that we could go out and she gave me a nice clear no. I really wanted to start something with her, but im just scared that nothing will come of it and all the "work" ive put into this over the past couple months will be for nothing. Im really not sure whether or not i should ask her out again. Her father is really protective and doesnt allow her out alone with only 1 guy. Her friends are nice, but i am a year older than her and feel awkward around all of them and her. Should i try and flirt with her even if all her friends are around and i feel embarrased as hell? Or should i just keep up the "friends only" aura and just act like one of her guy friends do (even though i know she still likes me)
Bill Posted December 28, 2002 Posted December 28, 2002 If she tells you she wants to be friends... why are you pressing the issue? If she likes being single that is her decision. Sounds like you want to change her mind. That's not nice. She may even have another reason as to why she's not going to date you. Talk about Deja vu.
Tony T Posted December 28, 2002 Posted December 28, 2002 You're simply not cool enough. Whatever she says, just stay calm and cool. Go along and then move back in slowly. If you can't use a little brainpower and psychology in this thing then, yes, you should give up. But learn in all things to be cool, no matter what people say. Respect what people say but always remember everything in the world has a rear entrance.
Bill Posted December 28, 2002 Posted December 28, 2002 Tony suggesting that there is another entrance is wrong. This lady has clearly stated that she wants to just be friends and wants to be single. No means no. Simply use a little logic and ethics in this situation. I know someone currently in this situation. You may lose friendship as well if you continue to press the issue of going out with the girl. It is quite possible that she has future plans, and that she really wishes to be single for a while.
Recommended Posts