honeybees28 Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 Sorry ya'll. I have to get it all out. I ache. Background: -He had a "crush" on me. -I didnt want to get involved right away. -He pursued me exclusively for an entire YEAR before I agreed to 'see' him. -He wrote an elaborate (real) letter about 6 pages long confessing his feelings for me and all that he hoped for and his love, etc etc. Amazing. -This was for MARRIAGE from the get go. "Courting", I suppose. -Our faith (protestant) background was VERY crucial and important to us. - We were each others FIRST relationship. -I was 21. He was 22. -We were very much each others deepest best best friends by this point. -He moved here this past January after always living one hour away...To further pursue "us"... and no, we did not live together. -THREE YEARS into the relationship...and one month after moving here.. the dumping occurred. (me being the dumped).. Heres my problem: - in his journal one year ago to date said "i have to make some big decisions soon, i really love liz and the thought of marrying her brings me great joy"... -one month before the breakup: he holds me close and hugs me for about a half hour and says "i will never leave you..." -two weeks before the breakup on my birthday. the card said.. "we can get through anything because we have god and we have each other" WERE THESE ALL LIES? CAN GUYS SWITCH OFF THEIR FEELINGS? WHY DO GUYS EVEN SAY THINGS IF THEY WILL NOT PULL THROUGH? DOESNT ANYONE VALUE COMMITTMENT? After the breakup: -I agreed to help him move out of his apartment. He flirted. Said I looked really pretty. Always wanted to hug. But I could tell he was torn and didnt know how to react. -He started calling daily after that. We didnt talk about the relationship. He wants to be "friends".... -He drove 3 hours up to see me last week. Dinner+Movie. I initiated touch. I grazed his hand as I was leaving his car. I miss him so much. -After that meeting, this past week has been the very first week of NO CONTACT since the breakup happened (over a month ago)... I love him. He was my dearest best friend. and I hate all of this so very much. MY QUESTION IS: Are the reasons guys give you for the breakup legitimate or are they just bs things because they really do not understand anything going on in their brains. For instance, - my guy said he didnt think we were compatible. Isnt that something you realize within the FIRST YEAR OF BEING WITH SOMEONE? Can you LOSE compatibleness? In that case, how do people stay married for 50 years? They are constantly changing, with new interests, etc. -Liz
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