IpAncA Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 I Was talking to my friend and she was telling me how her bf doesn't like her wearing certain things when she goes out with her friends. I thought it was stupid because she should be able to wear what she wants. So that got me thinking. Does your SO or do you care what your SO wears when your not around? Talking about when they go out with friends? Or maybe it was okay when you were dating but now your married you can't, etc...
dgiirl Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 If I were her, I'd be worried. If she met him with her current attire, and now he's trying to change it, it's controlling abusive behavior.
Author IpAncA Posted April 14, 2007 Author Posted April 14, 2007 That's what I was thinking. Her situation made me think of parents when their daughter goes out and her mom says "your NOT wearing THAT." I was just wondering how common this was.
kepners Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 ok ok ok holdon, form my point of view, i hate my misses going out dressed up good. WHY, because i dont want people coming on to her or looking at her, plus i am really paranoid why would she want to get dressed up so good with out me. but in all honesty, i have never had that sitution, they have normally respected how hard it is for the other half etc. i mean i dont like it, but what can i do other than say i dont like it you look like a whore. so its not possible, anyways after awhile with being with her you dont care what she wears
Author IpAncA Posted April 14, 2007 Author Posted April 14, 2007 ok ok ok holdon, form my point of view, i hate my misses going out dressed up good. WHY, because i dont want people coming on to her or looking at her, plus i am really paranoid why would she want to get dressed up so good with out me. Kepners, you don't see that as controlling? It's only an outfit. I will say this, I do get the "so where you going?" when I get all dressed up. But I hardly get that when I dress down and leave. Guess his mind can rest at ease of "no one will hit on her looking like that."
pelagicsands Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Should not matter what I wear out. I agree. It's not what you wear, it's your posture. For example, the posture in your avatar... what, exactly, is it saying?
VirtualInsanity Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 It's a sexy posture. Showing off what u got & you KNOW it.
KittenMoon Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 PLaying devils advocate, but what's the context here? Is the bf talking about her not weating average clubbing clothes or skirts above the knee, or about hot pants with her g-string coming out and the kind of tops you need double sided tape to keep on? Just wonderin.
pricillia Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 I think that there is a sophisticated way of looking sexy... He should not be telling her what to wear, but like KM said what exactly is she wearing if she goes out.
Curmudgeon Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 ...but what can i do other than say i dont like it you look like a whore. Certainly nothing I would ever say to my wife. She a competent adult. She can dress as she wishes. I don't need to control it anymore than she needs to control what I wear.
kepners Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 virtual what does it actually say... hi i am high pixalated faker, whos showing off what i got.
Pink Amulet Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Tell your friend to let this d*ckhead go. Controlling behaviour of any degree especially when it comes to a females right to sexuality and physical expression is not acceptable. Of course fidelity and respect boundaries must be set in a relationship but clothing should NOT be a factor.
Author IpAncA Posted April 15, 2007 Author Posted April 15, 2007 PLaying devils advocate, but what's the context here? Is the bf talking about her not weating average clubbing clothes or skirts above the knee, or about hot pants with her g-string coming out and the kind of tops you need double sided tape to keep on? Just wonderin. No no no, nothing like that. It's your average clubbing stuff. I think the problem is she wears some questionable skirts. I mean I have one of those and trust me you wouldn't catch me wearing that by myself. It's a stand only skirt. Now I do know that guys have issues with this because there was another forum I sort of found and there were bf/h's that were against their girls going out dressed as they see at "inappropriate." I guess I see this as controlling but in a way there are somethings that I wouldn't want my SO wearing out in public no matter if I'm with him or not. He has a REALLY ugly shirt that he keeps to annoy me.
Trialbyfire Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Image is important to some and not to others. Some men insist on having impact on their SOs because they believe that their SOs are a reflection of themselves or are trophies to hold up in public. Be careful of both these types of guys because they tend to objectify their women. If she continues to wear the style she's always worn, she should tell him it's not his right to decide what she wears. If he's being helpful by being straight-forward about something that looks terrible on her, it's another thing.
Author IpAncA Posted April 15, 2007 Author Posted April 15, 2007 Maybe it's an insecurity thing on his part.
Pyro Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Maybe it's an insecurity thing on his part. Thats exactly what it is. He is worried about her getting too noticed from other guys, which could lead to worse things, but that is what trust is all about. As for the original question, that has never been a problem with my SO and me. Back in the day when my ex's and I were insecure, that was a huge problem. Oh the stories I could tell you about that.
Author IpAncA Posted April 15, 2007 Author Posted April 15, 2007 Back in the day when my ex's and I were insecure, that was a huge problem. Oh the stories I could tell you about that. I'm all ears!
Pyro Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 I'm all ears! Just to summarize so that this thread doesn't go off topic. I had an ex who would only let me wear certain shirts to college. Anything that was considered dressy to her meant that I was going to school just to try and impress female classmates and like a fool, I went along with it and I did the same to her, and she wore some clothes that were borderline skanky and even when we went out together I had a problem with that stuff because I am more for classy/sexy, rather then skanky. Satisfied?
Author IpAncA Posted April 15, 2007 Author Posted April 15, 2007 Satisfied? Yes. Oh and I know, we don't want to upset the OP of this thread.
Pyro Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Yes. Oh and I know, we don't want to upset the OP of this thread. I know. She has such an attitude and can be quite the bytch.
Author IpAncA Posted April 15, 2007 Author Posted April 15, 2007 I know. She has such an attitude and can be quite the bytch. Omg. Quite the sarcastic stuck up hoe from what I've seen.
Pyro Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 Omg. Quite the sarcastic stuck up hoe from what I've seen. Her avatar says it all......
Aloros Posted April 16, 2007 Posted April 16, 2007 Nope. I wear what I like. Sometimes when I go out, I just like to dress up a bit. It makes me feel like less of a slob. It all depends on the mood I'm in. He's never questioned it. I'd be pretty offended if he started questioning, or trying to limit, what I wore. Still, I'll admit I get dressed up more often for the benefit of my SO. He definitely makes it worth it.
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