noxnoctisangela Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 I feel as though i am in a bit of a pickle...Here is the thing. I want to move back to my old home town in june where my bf and dad is. I moved with my mother and step dad b/c i was pregnant and had no insurance of my own so i had to be on theirs. The baby i just had a week ago is going to my aunt who really wanted kids but couldnt have them so this way the baby can have a good life with my aunt and uncle and they can have kids. I am going to go back to school to finish my degree but my mother wants me to stay here in the south to do it and that way i can be closer to my son (though he wont know i am his mother) on the other hand...i can go back to school in the north but i would also have to work full time but be with my bf and father and it might be easier on me to emotionally detach myself a little bit from my child since i wont be raising him. I know i am young and should work on my career but i also feel that i might be walking away from the "one" in my love life. Though he really doesnt have any goals nor does he plan on finishing school..which is fine by me, i dont need him to support me but i dont want to end up supporting him. He says he is going to work hard but he wont leave his comfort zone and i dont feel right asking him. I can go to school in the north and in the south so thats not a problem but i also am torn between being closer to my child even though he wont see me as "mom" and i wont try to make it that way or being with my love and trying to detach my self a little bit from heartach...
Island Girl Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 I feel as though i am in a bit of a pickle...Here is the thing. I want to move back to my old home town in june where my bf and dad is. I moved with my mother and step dad b/c i was pregnant and had no insurance of my own so i had to be on theirs. The baby i just had a week ago is going to my aunt who really wanted kids but couldnt have them so this way the baby can have a good life with my aunt and uncle and they can have kids. I am going to go back to school to finish my degree but my mother wants me to stay here in the south to do it and that way i can be closer to my son (though he wont know i am his mother) on the other hand...i can go back to school in the north but i would also have to work full time but be with my bf and father and it might be easier on me to emotionally detach myself a little bit from my child since i wont be raising him. I know i am young and should work on my career but i also feel that i might be walking away from the "one" in my love life. Though he really doesnt have any goals nor does he plan on finishing school..which is fine by me, i dont need him to support me but i dont want to end up supporting him. He says he is going to work hard but he wont leave his comfort zone and i dont feel right asking him. I can go to school in the north and in the south so thats not a problem but i also am torn between being closer to my child even though he wont see me as "mom" and i wont try to make it that way or being with my love and trying to detach my self a little bit from heartach... If you go back to be with the baby's father you will have tremendous longing for the child you created together. You will see the possibilities of being a family and it will be TOUGH. If you stay and watch your son grow you will have longing to be his mommy and may even have a difference of opinion with how he is being raised. TOUGH SITUATION to say the least. "Pickle" doesn't quite cover it. If you do move to be with your boyfriend you must make peace with the fact that your son is no longer yours and resign yourself from the emotional attachment completely. Easier said than done especially since your boyfriend is the father.
Author noxnoctisangela Posted April 15, 2007 Author Posted April 15, 2007 actually my bf is not the father and he started dating me knowing i was pregnant.
Island Girl Posted April 15, 2007 Posted April 15, 2007 then that makes things easier. I'd go north and start over with him. Less pain that way but you really need to make yourself emotionally okay with the adoption of your son first.
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