So it's D-Day

[Tomcat33]

Sorry, but to be honest, I dont think myself or TC for that matter are talking about harsh advice nor do we expect advice advocating the affair which would be wrapping the advice up in pretty pink ribbons, with sweetness and light and tripping of into the sunset holding hands together, (btw TBF, the touch of sarcasm is more pointed at myself not you) we are talking about people who just have nothing relevant to say and are santimonious and pious instead. I have always listened to advice you and a few of the other BS's give, who post on here regularly, because you dont resort to it being a name calling fest, which IMO makes people switch off and not listen.

 

I myself never thought of this forum for people who wish to continue in their relationship with the MP, its always struck me as more of a way to help them get out of it.

 

 

Exactly. There is a huge difference in giving helping advice that may no be what the person posting for advice wants to hear, and it's a completely other thing to use this forum for personal attacks and inuslts that do nothing more than create unecessary animosity.

 

Telling someone that they are scum because they did something wrong in no way helps or is doing any "right". Considering said people claim to know their right from wrong, they sure have a funny way of showing it.

Leading by example is the best way to help.

 

But then again, the best way to deal with the hate, is simply to ignore it.

[NearlyThere]

Could have fooled me.

 

 

Actually my full comment was, "nor do we expect advice advocating the affair which would be wrapping the advice up in pretty pink ribbons, with sweetness and light and tripping of into the sunset holding hands together." Please tell me where I have asked for that.

[Babybird]

I just love when the ow shows just how classless they truly are.

 

I've always found it interesting that the OW/Om can be called classless for getting irritated with and reacting to the constant bashing but the person doing the bashing never finds fault within themselves for the way they behave and treat people. SO many talk of all the hurt that OW/OM's do when they're in an A but because this is an internet the BS or whomever choses to post here forgets that there are living, breathing, and feeling people receiving the 'advice' and support that certain people give. No one said to make the responses pretty but there is no need to be downright cruel. Remember these aren't the people that your H/W cheated on you with.

 

I didn't come here for advice on how to keep MM or how to get him to leave. I came here to find other OW's and ask their advice and opinions. Not the BS. That just came with the site. I do respect what a lot of people say. What I don't respect is people that are so judgmental and set in their ways that they can't open their minds for a second and try to relate or understand what the others are going through. The situation, the feelings, and the pain. Not justifying, or even rationalizing the affair but helping the person that is hurt and presently in it or just out of.

 

So you won't have an A, you never cheated, and people that do are scum. Yes, we are aware that that is your opinion. Instead of the redundant commentary why don't you try empathy or even sympathy for how stupid you feel the people are. You might just help someone get out of the affair instead of making them feel like sh*t because they are in it.

[Tomcat33]

So you won't have an A, you never cheated, and people that do are scum. Yes, we are aware that that is your opinion. Instead of the redundant commentary why don't you try empathy or even sympathy for how stupid you feel the people are. You might just help someone get out of the affair instead of making them feel like sh*t because they are in it.

 

Yeah they won't have an affair because that is classless, but hidiing behind a computer screen making the same rude insulting comments day in day out, takes a lot of class!

 

The irony just kills me.

[Tomcat33]

I doubt very much her son is in any shape to worry about if his mom is happy or not due to the circumstances at home. Yes, timing always sucks, but RIGHT NOW is not the time for her to kick her husband out of the house. HER child's needs come first.

 

And, right now it's not fair to put that stress on her son. I don't understand why you can't see that?

 

Quite frankly I cannot answer for her son, nor do I pretend to know what goes on inside his head. And neither should you for that matter.

 

But I do know that a kid's wish no matter what age and no matter what the circumstances is to see their parents the people that they trust and look up to and love most, happy! I don't think anyone could argue with that, we are all sons and daughters are we not?

 

And to add to the last comment, given all that I have read posted by OOD, I seriously doubt she would leave her H even if her son were not ill. I don't think she is convinced of it, despite knowing that staying with him is unhealthy I don't think she is conviced that she can move on, on her own.

It's probably too many years of this pattern and there is some sense of comfort within the pathology of her situation.

(sorry OOD don't mean to talk about you as if you are not present but I don't know if you are piped in right now ;-)

[Trialbyfire]

I'm not certain it matters to me, if OW/OM don't want to hear what I have to say about affairs. What I will not do is to passively or aggressively empower or support anyone to remain or continue to be engaged in an affair.

 

That is the nature of an open, public forum.

[Tomcat33]

I'm not certain it matters to me, if OW/OM don't want to hear what I have to say about affairs. What I will not do is to passively or aggressively empower or support anyone to remain or continue to be engaged in an affair.

 

That is the nature of an open, public forum

 

And that's fine we are not disputing that, you could say the nastiest things about affairs, and be as harsh as you feel you need to be to get your point across (some think tough love is the way to go...) and I can can respect that. THAT is the nature of a public forum.

 

What I don't see the point of is people who pipe in to make comments like these, which attach people and not situations:

 

 

Maybe thats why they are the OW?....just a classless part time piece on the side for his convenience. It swings the other way for OM too.

Greengodess wrote: it's good to see how classeless the OW really are

 

Because first off these people know nothing about the other people on the other end, and for all we know they could be doing things just as "dispicable"as having an affair, or worse. So who are they to insult other human beings who come here to sort out the already confused state they are in. A lot of people who turn to these boards are already feeling like their self esteem is shot, why kick people why they are down? what is the point of that? (and it goes both ways not just for OW/OM)

 

BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE IT? as that very same person responded earlier.

Well then if they feel like attacking complete strangers for no reason other than they disagree with their actions, then really why would anyone even take them seriously? LOL they can't even see the irony in their own actions.

[outofdarkness]

Quite frankly I cannot answer for her son, nor do I pretend to know what goes on inside his head. And neither should you for that matter.

 

But I do know that a kid's wish no matter what age and no matter what the circumstances is to see their parents the people that they trust and look up to and love most, happy! I don't think anyone could argue with that, we are all sons and daughters are we not?

 

And to add to the last comment, given all that I have read posted by OOD, I seriously doubt she would leave her H even if her son were not ill. I don't think she is convinced of it, despite knowing that staying with him is unhealthy I don't think she is conviced that she can move on, on her own.

It's probably too many years of this pattern and there is some sense of comfort within the pathology of her situation.

(sorry OOD don't mean to talk about you as if you are not present but I don't know if you are piped in right now ;-)

That's okk..I just piped in after a long day. You are entitled to your OP, and I can't predict the future. It's always interesting to read everyone's take on my situation...You may be right, I don't know at this point..I am taking it one day at a time DUE to the current circumstances. Would I leave him if our son wasn't ill? I don't' know, but I DO know that there are other things at play, so that's hard to say. He IS sick, I DO love my H, we ARE trying to rebuild financially, I DO have to take care of my Mom, and other things I've mentioned.

 

Any inferences that I can't take care of myself or fear of it are unfounded. I KNOW I could take care of myself and the kids at this point, but this is not the right move for me to make right now. Will I have days when I feel especially paranoid and upset, YEAH!!! That's normal having been thru what I've been through, and you all help me through those things..It's still comparable to PTSD, some days, I have constant flashbacks and then the big depression, anxiety, etc. that comes w/ it, and some days are just fine...

[Tomcat33]

That's okk..I just piped in after a long day. You are entitled to your OP, and I can't predict the future. It's always interesting to read everyone's take on my situation...You may be right, I don't know at this point..I am taking it one day at a time DUE to the current circumstances. Would I leave him if our son wasn't ill? I don't' know, but I DO know that there are other things at play, so that's hard to say. He IS sick, I DO love my H, we ARE trying to rebuild financially, I DO have to take care of my Mom, and other things I've mentioned.

 

Any inferences that I can't take care of myself or fear of it are unfounded. I KNOW I could take care of myself and the kids at this point, but this is not the right move for me to make right now. Will I have days when I feel especially paranoid and upset, YEAH!!! That's normal having been thru what I've been through, and you all help me through those things..It's still comparable to PTSD, some days, I have constant flashbacks and then the big depression, anxiety, etc. that comes w/ it, and some days are just fine...

 

 

OOD I didn't mean that you could not take care of yourself, of course you can I mean look at what you are doing. You are giving of yourself to your family and to your own mental health to the umpteenth power. I have no doubts that you can take care of yourself given everything you have going and you are still holding strong. What I did mean though is that I don't think you are convinced that you can move on alone, as in move on without knowing that he is in the picture, ie. the thought of not having the love of your life by your side. the man that you build this life with and possibly having to start over from scratch romantically.

 

Again, this is just my speculation...but when I read your posts I can't help think of my own mother and the sacrifices she made for the sake of the children. She had so much to give, so much of her self to give endlessly even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness. And all we (myself and my syblings) ever wanted was to see her happy. Had she stepped away from the relationship while she still had the energy she would have rebuilt her romantic life without a doubt and possibly have built her life a little more for herself as opposed to focusing so much of her energy on my father, who was fine either way.

 

Our father never cheated on her, that I know of, but he had his share of things he put her through, and the excuse was always the children and now "the children are all out of the house and with their respective families and it's time to live for her yet she is next to someone that put her through more pain than happiness and filled with regret.

 

While the idea of 'til death do us part is a romantic notion, and ideal if you will...when a union between two people proves to be toxic, you have to save yourself because this is YOUR life too and once it's gone it's gone.

And blieve me OOD there is nothing anyone can say that will make that switch go off for you, it's like the OW who come here at the begining of the affair, no matter how many times we read, end it you are in for a lot of pain, we need to do it for ourselves. It's a journey until we hit our own boiling point. It has to come from within. I just hope you are doing something to help that ""within" along because you seem like a beautiful person and I know even without knowing you that there is a man out there who can love you how you deserve to be loved.

 

And while the idea that we need to sacrifice staying in a relationship that is distroying us is good for the children, in actuality it is not.

[outofdarkness]

OOD I didn't mean that you could not take care of yourself, of course you can I mean look at what you are doing. You are giving of yourself to your family and to your own mental health to the umpteenth power. I have no doubts that you can take care of yourself given everything you have going and you are still holding strong. What I did mean though is that I don't think you are convinced that you can move on alone, as in move on without knowing that he is in the picture, ie. the thought of not having the love of your life by your side. the man that you build this life with and possibly having to start over from scratch romantically.

 

Again, this is just my speculation...but when I read your posts I can't help think of my own mother and the sacrifices she made for the sake of the children. She had so much to give, so much of her self to give endlessly even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness. And all we (myself and my syblings) ever wanted was to see her happy. Had she stepped away from the relationship while she still had the energy she would have rebuilt her romantic life without a doubt and possibly have built her life a little more for herself as opposed to focusing so much of her energy on my father, who was fine either way.

 

Our father never cheated on her, that I know of, but he had his share of things he put her through, and the excuse was always the children and now "the children are all out of the house and with their respective families and it's time to live for her yet she is next to someone that put her through more pain than happiness and filled with regret.

 

While the idea of 'til death do us part is a romantic notion, and ideal if you will...when a union between two people proves to be toxic, you have to save yourself because this is YOUR life too and once it's gone it's gone.

And blieve me OOD there is nothing anyone can say that will make that switch go off for you, it's like the OW who come here at the begining of the affair, no matter how many times we read, end it you are in for a lot of pain, we need to do it for ourselves. It's a journey until we hit our own boiling point. It has to come from within. I just hope you are doing something to help that ""within" along because you seem like a beautiful person and I know even without knowing you that there is a man out there who can love you how you deserve to be loved.

 

And while the idea that we need to sacrifice staying in a relationship that is distroying us is good for the children, in actuality it is not.

Thanks for the post..The one thing that kept popping into my head is that had my H been honest w/ me when the A's first started 10+years ago, when I was younger and better able to start over, have children, etc., I might have considered it...I might have stayed w/ him...But I'll never know b/c he could not be honest w/ me..nor could anyone else..I am settled right now..taking it day to day and trying to become a stronger person should I decide at some point that going it alone is the right thing to do for all involved.

 

I have not read all of your posts. Just curious, how would you feel w/ out your man by your side? Thanks again for your thoughts..

[whichwayisup]

But I do know that a kid's wish no matter what age and no matter what the circumstances is to see their parents the people that they trust and look up to and love most, happy! I don't think anyone could argue with that, we are all sons and daughters are we not?

 

Yes, I agree with you - BUT NOT WHEN a kid is sick, and in and out of the hospital! What part of that do you not get? When a child of ANY age is sick, the last thing on their minds IS their parents happiness and what goes on between mommy and daddy.

 

Quite frankly I cannot answer for her son, nor do I pretend to know what goes on inside his head. And neither should you for that matter.

I've had private PM's with OOD for a while now, so I think I know abit more about some stuff so I can make abit more of opinion about it.

 

I seriously doubt she would leave her H even if her son were not ill. I don't think she is convinced of it, despite knowing that staying with him is unhealthy I don't think she is conviced that she can move on, on her own.

It's probably too many years of this pattern and there is some sense of comfort within the pathology of her situation.

 

That's one opinion of many...

[Tomcat33]

Yes, I agree with you - BUT NOT WHEN a kid is sick, and in and out of the hospital! What part of that do you not get? When a child of ANY age is sick, the last thing on their minds IS their parents happiness and what goes on between mommy and daddy.

 

 

I've had private PM's with OOD for a while now, so I think I know abit more about some stuff so I can make abit more of opinion about it.

 

 

 

That's one opinion of many...

 

So I guess you CAN speak for the child afterall. I guess you've spoken to him and he's told you his mother's happiness is irrelevant.

Just listen to what you are saying....

If he is well enough to pick on his father moving out he can most definitely pick up on the fact that his mother is not happy, and I don't even know him..

 

Well considering how much one on one talks you have with OOD you missed the point where she posted here that her child being sick is not infringing upon her decision to stay, she would choose to stay regardless. Perhaps you should read what she's posted here and revaluate your opinions, since having one on one's with her is doing squat for your so called "opinions". My opinion is based on what she responds here publicly and she clearly stated that it is not the deterring factor.

 

So WWIU you stick to your opinions, and I'll stick to mine...because last time I checked we were all entitled to our opinions. I hope you can figure out "which way is up" while you're at it. It's not that difficult ;-)

 

OOD: All I can say is that I know that you wish he were different and that he could be honest with you and would stop lying to you, but you can only change for yourself, you cannot change him or his sick patterns. No matter how much you give, because he is the one with the issue not you.

 

Right now I am single, you've read my story and posted in my thread before and been tremendous help. I thank you once again for all your insights. I was involved with a seperated man who decided to go back and work on his marriage when his W found out we were dating. He dumped me and then came begging me to take him back after three weeks of giving his marriage a go and realising for good he was not going to work it out. We proceeded to get back together after that and then broke up for good about two months ago.

 

He wants me back but I don't think I want to go back. Too much has happened and I really don't respect how he handled both situations, mine or his marriage. So I have chosen to give myself the respect that I deserve and have closed the door, if not for good for a long time, until he can prove to me without a doubt that he is in a healthier place to embark on what is right for us.

 

In all honesty the more time goes by and the clearer I can see things the more I feel like I don't want him back at all. I made the mistake of allowing this man to toy with my emotions/heart, whether he did it purposely or due to his own instability it doesn't matter anymore, I don't like how it feels to be toyed with and therefore I need to step in and take care of what matters most. ME. And I have been cheated on in the past, and speaking from experience it doesn't matter how much time I've invested in a relationship, if it's not going to make me feel good and the man will not respect me then I have to put my foot down and move on. It's hard and scary but as time passes it feels amazingly good and right. And talk about making you stronger... wow!!

 

I do however understand that your situation is completely different and incomperable to mine, so I won't draw a comparisson to you. All I can hope is that you take good care of yourself because while you are giving so much to all of your loved ones who is taking care of you? :-(

[Salicious Crumb]

Because first off these people know nothing about the other people on the other end, and for all we know they could be doing things just as "dispicable"as having an affair, or worse.

 

Well then wouldn't the OW/OM comment on that? Even if that were the case...what is more despicable than having an affair? Physical abuse would be the only thing that realistically comes to mind.

 

But these MM/MW who choose to cheat don't want to leave their spouse...so I highly doubt there is anything more "dispicable" that the person they are cheating on are doing.

 

 

So who are they to insult other human beings who come here to sort out the already confused state they are in. A lot of people who turn to these boards are already feeling like their self esteem is shot, why kick people why they are down? what is the point of that? (and it goes both ways not just for OW/OM)

 

Because these OW/OM come on here and whine about why their MM/MW won't leave their spouse and kids for them, or whine about being betrayed by their MM/MW themselves. They have this sense of entitlement and could care less what happens to the spouse or children of the person they are bedding down. yes....the MM/MW is mostly to blame....but you wouldn't throw gasoline on a forest fire would you?

 

BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE IT? as that very same person responded earlier.

Well then if they feel like attacking complete strangers for no reason other than they disagree with their actions, then really why would anyone even take them seriously?

 

Then I take it you will refrain from any future responses then...eh?

[outofdarkness]

Ok you all...enought w/ referring to me and my situation w/ out me being involved that much. Try to focus on your own situations at hand. I'll chime in when I need input. I don't think it's fair to discusss my situation when I'm not on the board responding and posting...I love the different OPs and advice..but I HATE the bickering...I'll do what's best for all involved when the time is right and some of it just might be based on the advice that I get here at LS...NOONE likes to be discussed behind their back. As far as private messaging..Yes, I've done this some and responded some, but I surely don't expect it to be discussed in the LS public forum..Hence PRIVATE messaging! Thanks for your understanding in advance!

[NoIDidn't]

Ok you all...enought w/ referring to me and my situation w/ out me being involved that much. Try to focus on your own situations at hand. I'll chime in when I need input. I don't think it's fair to discusss my situation when I'm not on the board responding and posting...I love the different OPs and advice..but I HATE the bickering...I'll do what's best for all involved when the time is right and some of it just might be based on the advice that I get here at LS...NOONE likes to be discussed behind their back. As far as private messaging..Yes, I've done this some and responded some, but I surely don't expect it to be discussed in the LS public forum..Hence PRIVATE messaging! Thanks for your understanding in advance!

 

 

OOD

 

I completely agree. I absolutely hate seeing your sitch come up when you are an active member of this board. Its like talking about you in third person and you are "standing" right there.

 

Hope you are having a better day than previous ones.

[Tomcat33]

Ok you all...enought w/ referring to me and my situation w/ out me being involved that much. Try to focus on your own situations at hand. I'll chime in when I need input. I don't think it's fair to discusss my situation when I'm not on the board responding and posting...I love the different OPs and advice..but I HATE the bickering...I'll do what's best for all involved when the time is right and some of it just might be based on the advice that I get here at LS...NOONE likes to be discussed behind their back. As far as private messaging..Yes, I've done this some and responded some, but I surely don't expect it to be discussed in the LS public forum..Hence PRIVATE messaging! Thanks for your understanding in advance!

 

OOD I appologize, I certainly did not mean any disrespect to you at all. I have only been commenting on what you have posted in this thread, all my comments refer to your comments and the topic of the conversation you and I have been having in this thread (started on pg 5 to be exact). So there is nothing I have said that you have not stated yourself here, publicly.

If you go back three or four pages you can see how our chat started.

Had you and I been chatting privately I certainly would not discuss any of that on here in public, that to me is crossing the line.

[Salicious Crumb]

Ok you all...enought w/ referring to me and my situation w/ out me being involved that much.

 

In case I am involved in this....I wasn't discussing your situation. If you situation mimics what is being discussed....what can I say.

 

NOONE likes to be discussed behind their back.

 

Its not behind your back. Its a public forum and you can read it anytime you like. Behind your back would be two people PMing each other and it not showing up here for you to see.

[IfWishesWereHorses]

I interpreted her post as meaning not to bicker over her situation. Could be wrong, just my .02.

[Babybird]

Well then wouldn't the OW/OM comment on that? Even if that were the case...what is more despicable than having an affair? Physical abuse would be the only thing that realistically comes to mind.

 

But these MM/MW who choose to cheat don't want to leave their spouse...so I highly doubt there is anything more "dispicable" that the person they are cheating on are doing.

 

Because these OW/OM come on here and whine about why their MM/MW won't leave their spouse and kids for them, or whine about being betrayed by their MM/MW themselves. They have this sense of entitlement and could care less what happens to the spouse or children of the person they are bedding down. yes....the MM/MW is mostly to blame....but you wouldn't throw gasoline on a forest fire would you?

 

Then I take it you will refrain from any future responses then...eh?

 

Wow. If the worst thing you can think of is physical abuse you must be living in some sort of alternate reality. Utopia perhaps?

 

The BS's whine about things just as much as the OW/OM do. Whining, complaining, and half the time showing they're willing to accept that type of behavior from their cheating spouse because they stay with them. What's the difference? And why are you here?

 

Sense of entitlement? Could care less...Ok I'll give you that. Some of the OW/OM don't care less but I don't see anyone portraying themselves as being entitled to get their man/woman. I haven't seen a posting that says "I have invested three(or however many) years of my life waiting for him/her and dammit I should have them. I deserve it." I think most of the OW/OM are conscious of the fact that people could get hurt but it's easier to not think about it because in most cases they don't actually know the W or their children. The same as it is for people to criticize and hurt other people on the internet. You don't know them so what difference does it make what you say/do? I'm sure you can relate to that.

 

As far as TC refraining from posting: Why on earth would she do that? I don't think her attacks are unsolicited. I think they are perfectly justified.

[outofdarkness]

OOD

 

I completely agree. I absolutely hate seeing your sitch come up when you are an active member of this board. Its like talking about you in third person and you are "standing" right there.

 

Hope you are having a better day than previous ones.

Yeah..it was when it was in the third person that bothered me...

[Trialbyfire]

The BS's whine about things just as much as the OW/OM do. Whining, complaining, and half the time showing they're willing to accept that type of behavior from their cheating spouse because they stay with them.

Oh, give it a rest. People stay for all kinds of reasons. Staying does not mean empowering...

 

As for a sense of entitlement, there are a few OW/OM who come across as such. When you distance yourself from the wife and family, you are in effect like a smoker who smokes in a crowded room full of adults and children who do not smoke. You may feel that the relationship with cancer is between you and the cigarette but in effect, it's affecting everyone in the room. Distancing is a form of denial of the ripple effect of actions for those who partake in an affair. To me, it's a very self-centered way to have your cake and eat it too.

[Babybird]

Oh, give it a rest. People stay for all kinds of reasons. Staying does not mean empowering...

 

As for a sense of entitlement, there are a few OW/OM who come across as such. When you distance yourself from the wife and family, you are in effect like a smoker who smokes in a crowded room full of adults and children who do not smoke. You may feel that the relationship with cancer is between you and the cigarette but in effect, it's affecting everyone in the room. Distancing is a form of denial of the ripple effect of actions for those who partake in an affair. To me, it's a very self-centered way to have your cake and eat it too.

 

No, I won't give it a rest and I completely disagree. BS's are allowed to stay for all types of reasons but the cheating MM isn't?? How many times have you read once a cheater always a cheater? If that is a true statement then staying is empowering.

 

When I read what you are basing entitlement on I can't argue with that. Very interesting way to put it.

[Trialbyfire]

No, I won't give it a rest and I completely disagree. BS's are allowed to stay for all types of reasons but the cheating MM isn't?? How many times have you read once a cheater always a cheater? If that is a true statement then staying is empowering.

 

When I read what you are basing entitlement on I can't argue with that. Very interesting way to put it.

I've read it and stated it many a time but that's my belief. Not everyone agrees. If you notice, the same married people who don't believe it are the ones who tend to stay in marriages. These same members also believe that their spouses can be rehabbed and some effectively have done so. It takes a whole 'nother mentality to do that and I applaud those who can forgive and start anew. I'm not forgiving to that point for assorted reasons. Maybe I'm spiking the ability for my marriage to work. Who knows, neither you 'nor I for certain.

[Tomcat33]

Wow. If the worst thing you can think of is physical abuse you must be living in some sort of alternate reality. Utopia perhaps?

 

The BS's whine about things just as much as the OW/OM do. Whining, complaining, and half the time showing they're willing to accept that type of behavior from their cheating spouse because they stay with them. What's the difference? And why are you here?

 

Sense of entitlement? Could care less...Ok I'll give you that. Some of the OW/OM don't care less but I don't see anyone portraying themselves as being entitled to get their man/woman. I haven't seen a posting that says "I have invested three(or however many) years of my life waiting for him/her and dammit I should have them. I deserve it." I think most of the OW/OM are conscious of the fact that people could get hurt but it's easier to not think about it because in most cases they don't actually know the W or their children. The same as it is for people to criticize and hurt other people on the internet. You don't know them so what difference does it make what you say/do? I'm sure you can relate to that.

 

As far as TC refraining from posting: Why on earth would she do that? I don't think her attacks are unsolicited. I think they are perfectly justified.

 

BB so well said, I couldn't have said it better myself!! I especially agree with this part:

 

Sense of entitlement? Could care less...Ok I'll give you that. Some of the OW/OM don't care less but I don't see anyone portraying themselves as being entitled to get their man/woman. I haven't seen a posting that says "I have invested three(or however many) years of my life waiting for him/her and dammit I should have them. I deserve it." I think most of the OW/OM are conscious of the fact that people could get hurt but it's easier to not think about it because in most cases they don't actually know the W or their children. The same as it is for people to criticize and hurt other people on the internet. You don't know them so what difference does it make what you say/do? I'm sure you can relate to that.

 

The irony is unbelievable. LOL

 

As per the last comment of me not posting, I will not stop posting, not a hope! But I have been here long enough to notice what the patter of certain posters are. Most people turn to this forum to offer advice support and to share their insight, there are a select few who are on the prey for people who will "bite" for their trolling. You see these people that I say are here to troll, are only here because they thrive on insulting people, and initiating arguments, it gives them a great deal of pleasure an a sense of self worth to put others down gratuitously. But these people are not well, they have a lot of pent up anger and will use any chance they get to lash out anyone, even a stranger across the way behind a computer screen.

 

They have unresolved internal demons that won't let the move forward in life and the only escape they have is to come on here and bash other people who are not responsible for what happend to them but who serve the purpose nonetheless. So what I choose to do is simply to ignore their comments directed at me. And so in that respect that's right I won't post back to comment those kinds of posts.

[herenow]

The irony is unbelievable. LOL

 

As per the last comment of me not posting, I will not stop posting, not a hope! But I have been here long enough to notice what the patter of certain posters are. Most people turn to this forum to offer advice support and to share their insight, there are a select few who are on the prey for people who will "bite" for their trolling. You see these people that I say are here to troll, are only here because they thrive on insulting people, and initiating arguments, it gives them a great deal of pleasure an a sense of self worth to put others down gratuitously. But these people are not well, they have a lot of pent up anger and will use any chance they get to lash out anyone, even a stranger across the way behind a computer screen.

 

They have unresolved internal demons that won't let the move forward in life and the only escape they have is to come on here and bash other people who are not responsible for what happend to them but who serve the purpose nonetheless. So what I choose to do is simply to ignore their comments directed at me. And so in that respect that's right I won't post back to comment those kinds of posts.

 

 

And this is being respectful to others?

Sounds like an angry rant to me.

 

Tomcat, I have read numerous posts here from people trying to help you and you call them harsh and angry. You ask for opinions, but you don't like anything that doesn't fit with your way of thinking.

 

Just because someone doesn't agree with you and is forth coming in their opinion, doesn't mean that they are not well. It means that they are being honest with you and you just don't like what they have to say. So, your way of being respectful is by insulting them.

 

Read your post again because it applies to you most.