Touche Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 Sorry, Touche. You're right. I shouldn't generalize, and I SHOULD spell it right!!! I just can't understand people who think cheating is okay until the tables are turned. Oh, it's ok Luv. Don't worry about it. I totally agree with you though. I just don't get people who think it's ok to do this sort of thing. And then they have the gall to justify it by saying that THEY'RE not the ones who took the vows. THEY'RE completely innocent. What a crock!
pureinheart Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 I don't think I am a bad person & It's not the worst thing someone can do. Does anyone else agree? No, JustBecause....your not a "bad person" per say, you are making "bad choices" that could affect your future and other peoples futures for years to come. In the beginning the consequences are not seen, they do however unfold as the A continues....some suffer great and pay a heavy price....it depends on the level of instability, and there is always some instability... Good luck, and I hope you change your mind before it gets real bad.
pureinheart Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 Agree that you are a good person?....or that cheating is not the worst thing a person can do? First off i dont know you...but I will give benefit of the doubt that you are a good person. And yes, people can do some horrible stuff....like murder and child abuse and such.... but as B_O just said.....being on the otherside....being betrayed by someone you trusted, love and thought was geniuene....well.....i was there...and I can say....its was the worst thing I ever had done to me by someone. So...I guess your question is relative to the end user....for me it was the worst....for you...well I guess it isnt. I mean....your post speaks VOLUMES asking for validation for your cheating....you wotn get much help here with that. If you want help in getting out and seeing the truth...then stick around...its a great place. OH....just to elaborate on what you said....being a good person and all.. My wife cheated on me. And she was a good person. She has lots of freinds, everyone ask her for advice. People like to be around her becasue she just is a pleasant to be around. She helps people, is liked at work, etc, etc. She lights up a room. During our recovery, during my angry stage....oOne day she says to me. Why do you hate me? . I am a good person, people like me, my friends and family all think I am a caring person. I dont talk bad about people and everyone says I am fun to be around and that I am a good friend. I looked her straight in the eye and said. "maybe its becasue I am the only one who knows you are a decietful, lying, cheating women" she didnt have too much to say after that. I guess its up to you to figure out what you think is GOOD. I mean the mere faact that you came here asking us if we think its OK...shows me your not quite sure yourself. Personally, I think you hate being the OW...and you just want validation from someone to help the pain of the truth go away. First of all TMW...I am so sorry concerning the A, these things can hit to the core of our very beings. You have a sound mind and great insight, and can see right through the deception. Hummmm, deception....your wife puts on a good front to others.....there is something so unstable concerning her that caused her to seek else where.... We have nothing to do with another persons instability, it is up to us as mature adults to manage our weaknesses, and take resposibility for our past, present and future, so that others will not be hurt by our misguided ways.. Also to not allow others to use us as doormats, causing them to be accountable in all things....
Salicious Crumb Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 I don't think I am a bad person & It's not the worst thing someone can do. Does anyone else agree? No...but that would be like someone saying..."im a child molester....and thats not the worst thing someone can do" when comparing it to murder. And no..it doesn't make you a bad person....that is...if the MM lied to you and you didn't know he was married and are trying to get out of the relationship, but its just hard. But being a bad person when you know the other person is married and bed him down anyway without any regard for his wife or his children, then thats a different story. And yes....the MM is the most to blame and obviously he doesn't give 2 shi!ts about his own wife and kids enough to keep it in his pants.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 My friends & family have met my s/o. No problems at all. Then I can see where you get the selfishness from. And funny you refer to someone elses husband as a "significant other"
whichwayisup Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 It's not the worst thing someone can do. No, it isn't the worst thing, but in a marriage it IS the worst thing.
Author JustBecause Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 I am back after a short vacation & over the weekend, I told my now exso that we were through. I told him to call me when he was no longer with his wife.
whichwayisup Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Maybe (hopefully) she did some thinking and realized that being the OW is not what she wants in life. I am back after a short vacation & over the weekend, I told my now exso that we were through. I told him to call me when he was no longer with his wife. Good for you! Stay strong and keep busy. You did the right thing for yourself, and I hope that you find happiness one day with the right man.
Author JustBecause Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 I spent Fri to Mon with him. I wanted more. Full time passion is what I want from him. So Monday nite I told him this would be our last meeting until he leaves his w. What I wouldn't do to have him 100%.
yousaveme Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Best wishes to you. Maybe its for the best or Maybe something else. But best wishes in the future I spent Fri to Mon with him. I wanted more. Full time passion is what I want from him. So Monday nite I told him this would be our last meeting until he leaves his w. What I wouldn't do to have him 100%.
whichwayisup Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 Maybe its for the best or Maybe something else What does this mean?? Just wondering.
Author JustBecause Posted April 17, 2007 Author Posted April 17, 2007 I am hoping he leaves her & runs to me! ASAP that is. Until then ,I am hopelessly devoted. Weakness sets it & I want to call him.
yousaveme Posted April 17, 2007 Posted April 17, 2007 My apologizes not to give false hope. Maybe this is the best for her or Give him the push to do what he needs to do to be with her. What does this mean?? Just wondering.
thelittlespoon Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I don't think I am a bad person & It's not the worst thing someone can do. Does anyone else agree? Hey, if being the OW is what you want, then more power to you. But, I wouldn't set your relationship expectations too high because chances are your MM is having his fun having his cake and eating it too. And I think that it is a shame that some naive women can allow these pigish men to have that pleasure.
Lizzie60 Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 You're not a bad person... and there are a lot more worserser things... I am an OW too and I know I am a good mother and a good person.
Lishy Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 Shagging someone else's husband does NOT make you a good person! Sorry but thats how I see it! and to the OP I hope he does run to you and leave his wife - She will have lost a loser and she will have a chance to get a good man who wont cheat and lie to her. But what does that leave YOU with? Not exactly a prize eh! Good luck whatever happens (You need it)
Lishy Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I am hoping he leaves her & runs to me! ASAP that is. Until then ,I am hopelessly devoted. Weakness sets it & I want to call him. let me take a guess here ... He will stay with his wife, you will call him and continue to accept second best! everybody wins
Izzar Posted May 9, 2007 Posted May 9, 2007 I just caught up on alot of the posts here & I was wondering, didn't JustBecause end it with her mm? She was shoved down escalator steps by the wife right? And she no longer sees him.
Author JustBecause Posted May 9, 2007 Author Posted May 9, 2007 let me take a guess here ... He will stay with his wife, you will call him and continue to accept second best! everybody wins Obviously, you didn't read my whole story. I said it is all done & over with.
Author JustBecause Posted May 16, 2007 Author Posted May 16, 2007 ExMM has called me a trillion times & I have ignored him. Numerous calls & emails. I love the delete button!!!!!!!!!
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