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Why is insecurity a turn off?

DanielMadr

By DanielMadr
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DanielMadr Established Member

DanielMadr

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This post has reminded me that you are 15.

 

Actually 12 and a half....in a few weeks:p

confucious Member

confucious

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Not a prosthetic helped him. His attitude did ;) He had reasons why to be insecure but he didnt want to make the whole situation even worse by being insecure. Harsh but true.

 

I dont think being all hush hush is helping someone, especially not here when its not personal. It only creates atmosphere like there is really something wrong with the person.

 

Ill keep my compassion for the dead. Living people should have a slap time to time. Its the same with phobia..... you are insecure because you are insecure and so on and so on. The first impuls is gone but you are still walking in circles. Circles of self doubt and self pitty. Slap.

 

First step is to realize you have a problem. If you think its OK to be insecure, then you are in trouble. Thats why the slap.

 

Second step is to forgive. Dont be so hard (so self-aware) on yourself. Its no big deal afterall...happens to anybody.

 

Third step is F--kItAll. Once you know what the problem is dont meddle with it....just dont care and live on.

 

 

I disagreed strongly with Daiel's original post - the one that started this whole thread.

 

HOWEVER -

 

I DO think he is right about the "slap". Sometimes people who are so immersed in thier own problems/pity party/reality need a firm slap in the face (figuratively, of course). This may open thier eyes, show them destructive thought patterns, and make them aware there are other ways to live/think.

 

If one is to "slap" someone out of something, this effort to bring awareness shows tolerance and compassion in and of itself. Perhaps Daniel is showing his softer side...

 

The concepts that seem to be most troubling on this thread are:

  1. insecurity is selfish and essentially vile
  2. insecure people have no merit as friends, they are best to be avoided until they help themselves. "Strong" people are the only ones who can be giving as friends.

I think we all agree being extraordinarily insecure is not hugely attractive.

 

I think we all agree that, as much as we may dislike the fact, spilling our insecurities to someone who knows little or nothing about us will turn them off us.

 

I think we all agree that Kirby's inflamatory one liners are about as useful as a Karaoke machine at an Amish birthday party....;)

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
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So we are to walk on eggshells? Hmm. Thanks for letting me know.

Nope. But if you dish it out, be prepared to take it.

Trialbyfire Established Member

Trialbyfire

Posted
Posted
The concepts that seem to be most troubling on this thread are:

  1. insecurity is selfish and essentially vile
  2. insecure people have no merit as friends, they are best to be avoided until they help themselves. "Strong" people are the only ones who can be giving as friends.

I think we all agree being extraordinarily insecure is not hugely attractive.

 

I think we all agree that, as much as we may dislike the fact, spilling our insecurities to someone who knows little or nothing about us will turn them off us.

This thread is so simplified. People are a hella' lot more complex than that. There isn't a person on this planet that isn't insecure in some way and no matter how hard they try to hide it, sooner or later that insecurity will manifest itself in an LTR, whether it's a friendship or more.

kribby Established Member

kribby

Posted
Posted
I disagreed strongly with Daiel's original post - the one that started this whole thread.

 

HOWEVER -

 

I DO think he is right about the "slap". Sometimes people who are so immersed in thier own problems/pity party/reality need a firm slap in the face (figuratively, of course). This may open thier eyes, show them destructive thought patterns, and make them aware there are other ways to live/think.

 

If one is to "slap" someone out of something, this effort to bring awareness shows tolerance and compassion in and of itself. Perhaps Daniel is showing his softer side...

 

The concepts that seem to be most troubling on this thread are:

  1. insecurity is selfish and essentially vile
  2. insecure people have no merit as friends, they are best to be avoided until they help themselves. "Strong" people are the only ones who can be giving as friends.

I think we all agree being extraordinarily insecure is not hugely attractive.

 

I think we all agree that, as much as we may dislike the fact, spilling our insecurities to someone who knows little or nothing about us will turn them off us.

 

I think we all agree that Kirby's inflamatory one liners are about as useful as a Karaoke machine at an Amish birthday party....;)

 

My response didn't meet with your approval-- big deal.

kribby Established Member

kribby

Posted
Posted
Nope. But if you dish it out, be prepared to take it.

 

What are you talking about? What is this 'it'?

 

What are you 'dishing' to me?

 

I believe (and I have no desire to comb this thread) I may have disagreed with you-- at some point. It is obvious you do not care for my opinion-- and it is further obvious that perhaps I am not 'polite' enough in the way in which I offer my opinion.

 

So-- sorry.

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