skper138 Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I'm pretty sure you have read my previous thread. I'll give you a quick background. I was with my ex for 7 and 1/2 years. everything was ok till the end of december he told me that he wanted to move out because he wanted to be on his own. I found out that he had been chatting on myspace with this girl who works with him. later he changed his story telling me that he stopped loving me for some time and that he didn't want to be with me. he said it had nothing to do with another woman. he started staying over her house right after and moved in with her 3 weeks after our break up. she was the cause of our break up 10o%. We had our arguments every now and then but it was no big deal. I did so much for him and he left telling me that everything i did didn't matter and that he sometimes wished i was never alive. I have been on NC for 2 months. 1)what do men think in a situation like this 2)why be so angry at someone that has been there for you and loves you so much? 3)what are my chances of him coming back?
Zankon Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 Hmmm, 7 1/2 years is a long time and it's hard to just drop it like it never happened as i am sure you guys know the ins and outs of each other. If your ex is a good person in general, I dont think he meant it when he said: "everything i did didn't matter and that he sometimes wished i was never alive" if he has been talking to this girl on myspace and moved in with her in a 3 weeks period that means stuff was planned before and he probably fell out of love (for whatever reason; relationship became monotonous, regular arguments, no compromise, fear of commitment, etc) I was in a 3 years relationship and in my 2nd year I was looking for a way out, I new something was wrong when I started checking other girls out whereas before i never cared. But I had the balls to end it without having an alternative... so I was single for 6 more months before I met another great girl. So from my stand point as a guy, I think he knew he wanted out but didnt wanna tell you till he found another boat to jump on. I dont agree with you when you said "she was the cause of our break up 10o%" She didnt do anything wrong... it's his fault that he gave her attention and a chance to take him because (as I mentioned above) he wanted out of your relationship. "3)what are my chances of him coming back?" good question which doesnt have a good answer but -thing is- if what you guys had was so great and rare, he will miss it and come back in which case you shouldnt take him back because I m almost certain that trust will never be the same. If it wasnt that great and he is enjoying the new girl very much, then forget about it. Bottom line in both cases is you have to move on. Easier said than done, i know that... i mean 7 1/2 years is a child's life but you have to do it because who did it once, will do it again. Remember! guys dont think the same... this is my point of view for people who think and act like me...
Curmudgeon Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 1) This mAn (to separate him from mEn which implies all of us) was thinking of what he wanted to do, what he thought was best for him and thought on no one but himself. 2) The anger is likely a mask to hide the fact that he knows he's being an ass but is going to continue to be anyway. he's trying to convince himself that he was right to end things with you. 3) Probably pretty good once he pulls the same thing on his current target....umm....love but why would you want someone that shallow and non-committal back? You deserve more and better!
Trialbyfire Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 The seven year itch where things get routine and the excitement of a new relationship is far more alluring. A guy that would do this isn't someone who was committed to you when this first began. We all have the ability to say no to sexual/emotional attraction and that includes the other woman. Try to move on, although I know how hard it is. Let go and let Karma have her way with these other two.
silentcharon Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 What others said. Forget him. I've been there and done that, it's very hard, but you can do it! He might come crawling back when he realizes the grass isn't so green on the other side, and hopefully, by then, you won't even want him back!
Recommended Posts