pricillia Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Has anyone ever dealt with a family member who waits until you do something wrong then enjoys rubbing it in your face and trys to make you feel like a failure. Even when you apolagize because they are acting like you just killed someone, when in fact forgetfullness came into play they tell you that based on your age you should know better and continue to tell you how angry they are and that you are basicly an idiot. Well this happened to me today with a certian person in my life and it has happened with this person before. It could be as simple as putting my pocket book on the counter in the kitchen and she will flip out because there are germs on the pocket book. When she will put money on the counter for the cleaning person in the same spot as where I put my purse, It makes no sense where as there are may more jerms on money that anything else I could think of. Today I was ready to punch a wall, I needed a punching bag this am it would have been nice. I even spend time away from home just so I don't have to be there because I feel uptight and tense when I am around her. I am embarrased to admit that I have for some time been sleeping with my light on it the bedroom and can not fall alseep without it, not because I am afraid like a little kid afriad but for some reason I picked up this habbit ever since I moved back home. I believe that it is time to move back out... because I usually never feel anxious but now my chest gets tight and feel so stressed when this person is around, it is unhealthy. I am not the only one that gets stressed when she is around, so I know that it is just not me who feels this way. I wish that instead this person was supportive once in a while and would tell me that hey, you know what I am proud of you, but that will never happen because I really feel as thought she hates me... When I left the house thismorning I was so upset, but then as I thought about it I know in my heart that she had no right to treat me that way. Any advice on dealing with a family member that never thinks that she does anything wrong.
whichwayisup Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 It could be as simple as putting my pocket book on the counter in the kitchen and she will flip out because there are germs on the pocket book. Sounds like my mom. She flipped out at me one day we went for lunch and I put my purse on the table while I took off my coat. She "loudly" gave me a lecture about how purses shouldn't be put on tables because of germs. I was SO pissed at her, and embarressed too, but I didn't react. I made a face at her and just laughed it off. It's all about timing...(Meaning, I filed that one for the future....lol!) I believe that it is time to move back out... because I usually never feel anxious but now my chest gets tight and feel so stressed when this person is around, it is unhealthy. Yes, you're having anxiety and this person is giving you stress. It is unhealthy and you don't need it. I feel for ya, but try your best NOT to care what this person thinks. You don't need to justify yourself to her/him (I assume it's a her though), or owe her an explanation of anything. You gotta rise above it and say to yourself "She is who she is, and it just doesn't matter what she thinks or says about or TO me." It's best to change your behaviour around her, close yourself off from her and never let her see you upset. Act indifferent and aloof like you couldn't care less either way. Trust me ,I know how hard it is, especially when the person really gets under your skin..... Oh and sometimes I sleep with the light on until I'm really tired..usually when I'm really not feeling well. Just helps make me feel more settled. (My Hubby puts a tshirt across his face to hide from the light.) Don't be embarressed by that! Also, when he works his late late shifts at work, and I'm alone, I fall asleep with the TV on, bedroom light on, AND the hallway light on.
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