pelagicsands Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 TBF gives the best advice each time! TBF is right, You have the worst insecurity problem I have ever seen. Seek help, and fast. Before it's too late, I mean.
pelagicsands Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 We simply loved each other for what we gave each other. I gave her complete support and understanding (she didn't always have the "easiest" of lives)' date=' and she gave me companionship, and a feeling of being completely "desired" and "wanted" by a woman.[/quote'] Are you trying to make me cry??!! Bastard.
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 TBF gives the best advice each time! Well, VI seems you are looking for a sure way to avoid pain, and thinking maybe a formula can be applied. I can think of a few situations of acquaintances whee you would have thought the less attractive partner would have been *grateful* or worshipping to the more attractive partner, but was actually dogging around on the side. TBF is right, it is more about the quality of the individual person on the inside. Thanks squeak.
monkey00 Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 This is the way I've always felt about the guys I've dated or had a relationship with. For example, I find bright guys so much more attractive than the not so intelligent guy and I don't mean the nitwit who's book-smart but can't apply anything to real life. VI, look to the guys internally. Sense of humour, whatnot. Who cares what the outside looks like as long as it isn't repulsive. If he ends up being good-looking, it's icing on the cake. Im sure good looks are icing on the cake; confidence, wisdom, intelligence, humor, ambition (and perhaps the size of his wallet) are definitely attractive traits sought by women in men. But explain to me why I often see attractive women with beer belly slob guys. Anyway I think women should definitely give themselves more credit than that if they want to be with a guy. Only a healthy self-esteem leads to a healthy relationship
Pyro Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I agree. Seems like you wouldn't be happy in the long run. Trust me you don't want to marry someone, be unhappy, and doubt. Don't ever settle for less. We all deserve to be happy, at least that is my attitude about it.
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Im sure good looks are icing on the cake; confidence, wisdom, intelligence, humor, ambition (and perhaps the size of his wallet) are definitely attractive traits sought by women in men. But explain to me why I often see attractive women with beer belly slob guys. Anyway I think women should definitely give themselves more credit than that if they want to be with a guy. Only a healthy self-esteem leads to a healthy relationship Wallet size means nothing to me. If you're motivated enough, you'll find ways to make your own money. Relying on anyone to support me, makes me shudder. Everyone should be able to stand on their own. As for attractive women with beer belly slob guys, who knows. Maybe these guys have all the attributes you previously mentioned or weren't in that shape when the women first got together with them. A friend of mine has been married for 10 years. When she first met her husband, he was fit and very good-looking, with big brown eyes and eyelashes that women would die for. Five years later, he had a beer gut. Right now, he's almost obese. They're still in love and continue to hold hands.
pelagicsands Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 size means nothing to me. If you're motivated enough, you'll find ways to make me shudder. Everyone should be able to I'll keep that in mind. There is certainly a whole lot more to a person than their looks. Judge a book by its spine.
monkey00 Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Five years later, he had a beer gut. Right now, he's almost obese. They're still in love and continue to hold hands. Love exceeds all boundaries eh?
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Apparently so. She's pretty hot looking too and works out at the gym 4 times a week.
burning 4 revenge Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 This is the way I've always felt about the guys I've dated or had a relationship with. For example, I find bright guys so much more attractive than the not so intelligent guy and I don't mean the nitwit who's book-smart but can't apply anything to real life. Why? Whats wrong with us?
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Why? Whats wrong with us? Do you get confused when someone tells you it's dinner time? If not, I'm not talking about you...
burning 4 revenge Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Do you get confused when someone tells you it's dinner time? If not, I'm not talking about you...Is that a sexual double entendre? Im confused
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Is that a sexual double entendre? Im confused Uh, uh, wrong LS member. Do I look like someone who would try to confuse anyone? If anything, I look more like this most times. Oops, better bring it back to topic or the LS Gods will throw their lightning bolts and drop their pestilence at/on me again. VI, are you honestly pursuing less attractive men because of their lesser looks, or are they guys who are attractive in different ways?
Author VirtualInsanity Posted April 13, 2007 Author Posted April 13, 2007 VI, are you honestly pursuing less attractive men because of their lesser looks? Yes, it's bad.
kribby Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Is there an insecurity issue dating a partner who is less attractive? I don't think so. I am quite attractive and I tend to date less attractive guys. But I don't choose by looks-- I choose by how much of a match they are to me. Looks really aren't that important to me. They fade you know.
chaos40 Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Is there an insecurity issue dating a partner who is less attractive? is that a pic of you in the avatar? If it is, whenever you are feeling insecure you can always date me.
dropdeadlegs Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I don't know VI, I date men that are attractive to me, but they aren't usually seen as super hot or anything. Some women don't find them particularly physically attractive, but like their personality. On guy I "dated" (FWB) just oozed sex appeal. He was about 5'7", average weight for that height, was balding pretty badly, and always had a great tan from working outdoors. He wasn't conventionally handsome, but when he looked at and talked to you he made you feel like the only and most attractive woman in the world. Women were always commenting on how sexy he is. One area I am adamant about is not dating someone very thin. I don't want to look fat standing next to a very thin man.
kribby Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I don't know VI, I date men that are attractive to me, but they aren't usually seen as super hot or anything. Some women don't find them particularly physically attractive, but like their personality. On guy I "dated" (FWB) just oozed sex appeal. He was about 5'7", average weight for that height, was balding pretty badly, and always had a great tan from working outdoors. He wasn't conventionally handsome, but when he looked at and talked to you he made you feel like the only and most attractive woman in the world. Women were always commenting on how sexy he is. One area I am adamant about is not dating someone very thin. I don't want to look fat standing next to a very thin man. Yeah! Exactly! The guys I date are 'hot' to me. Like my current guy-- has the deepest dimples and the best smile... and when he hasn't shaved for 2 days .... mmmm mmmm But-- my best friend was all like-- 'He is soooooo AVERAGE!' Pshaw! My eye matters most... 'cause I am the eye of the one beholding and all.
Green Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 I only date girls who are hot to me but its great to have a girl who everyone thinks is hot cause then I get to show her off around town like some trophy wooo hoo
deaconblues Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 See this is what I have a problem with. Okay, fine if you are average looking and you date a more attractive person, or if you are an attractive person and you date an average person - love is love. But how are people like me, worse than anyone, and stuck in the lowest eschelon of physical attractiveness, ever supposed to break through? I have tried to answer this question many times, but I can't find the answer. And that's the point where I just want to give up trying and cut my losses, and accept the fact that maybe I don't deserve what other people have...
Author VirtualInsanity Posted April 14, 2007 Author Posted April 14, 2007 I only date girls who are hot to me but its great to have a girl who everyone thinks is hot cause then I get to show her off around town like some trophy wooo hoo You don't sound like one women person KMT. But how are people like me, worse than anyone, and stuck in the lowest eschelon of physical attractiveness, ever supposed to break through? Not sure. Physical attraction is physical attraction. Person is or isn't. I don't think so. I am quite attractive and I tend to date less attractive guys. But I don't choose by looks-- I choose by how much of a match they are to me. Looks really aren't that important to me. They fade you know. For me attractiveness doesn't fade. I sound shallow.
Walk Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 Okay, fine if you are average looking and you date a more attractive person, ..... But how are people like me, worse than anyone, and stuck in the lowest eschelon of physical attractiveness, ever supposed to break through? And that's the point where I just want to give up trying and cut my losses, and accept the fact that maybe I don't deserve what other people have... Wait a minute... You're saying that because you believe you're ugly, you think "attractive" people won't date you? Was that what you were saying? I've dated some really hot men, and some real... not hot men, in my life. And the only barrier I've ever had was my confidence in myself. If I didn't believe I was good enough for the hot guy to want, then I was subconciously sent signals that would put off the the guy. I didn't carry myself confidently, iddn't flirt well, didn't look him in the eye for as long, didn't project that I was worth his attention. When I feel confident, i act confident, and it projects. People notice me more, I'm funnier because I'm not constantly evalutating what comes out of my mouth, I hold eye contact better, I'm not slumped over with bad posture... on and on... On the other hand, you could try dating a really hot homeless man. THen you'll achieve the goal of dating "attractive" and won't actually need any self-confidence to pull it off.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 How is that a narcissistic complex? I really have to explain it?
kribby Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 You don't sound like one women person KMT. Not sure. Physical attraction is physical attraction. Person is or isn't. For me attractiveness doesn't fade. I sound shallow. -- you just sound honest!!!!!!!
Author VirtualInsanity Posted April 14, 2007 Author Posted April 14, 2007 I really have to explain it? No, looked it up.
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