VirtualInsanity Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Is there an insecurity issue dating a partner who is less attractive?
Pyro Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Is there an insecurity issue dating a partner who is less attractive? It very well could be but why settle for someone that you are not fully attracted to?
PortuguesePunk Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Depends. Do you find him to be less attractive or are you basing it on the opinion of others? If you like the person then that is all that matters.
Green Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 I dont know if Ive ever seen a woman who I said to myself wow shes more attractive than me, but if I was dating some one who isnt the picture perfect version of perfection say like a car acident survivor who had there face smached through a windshield and looked like a zombie or something if I liked the girl and found myself attracted to her it wouldnt matter to me what other people said in fact I would probably kick a persons butt if they said anything about it.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 Um, what if their only attracted to 8-10 types? For me I don't want a partner who is so attractive that it makes me look or feel ugly. Make sense?
justagirlforever Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Is there an insecurity issue dating a partner who is less attractive? Are you asking: "do people who date others less (physically) attractive than themselves, have insecurity issues"? If that's your question, I'm a bit speechless. How shallow is that? And how egotistical to judge your own physical beauty against another's and have that as the basis of a relationship.... And does the percentage one perceives the other party to be less attractive, equate to the percentage of insecurity perceived about that other person? If that's not your question, I apologise.
justagirlforever Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Um, what if their only attracted to 8-10 types? For me I don't want a partner who is so attractive that it makes me look or feel ugly. Make sense? OK - seeing your post above I misunderstood somewhat but probably boils down to the same thing. So you only want to date people you judge physically less attractive than yourself so that you can feel more secure and better about yourself? Yep, that's insecurity Rember, beauty takes many forms - and the physical is a very small part in my opinion. The most important part is the essence and being of a person which makes someone beautiful and attractive (in my eyes).
Topper Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Um, what if their only attracted to 8-10 types? For me I don't want a partner who is so attractive that it makes me look or feel ugly. Make sense? Will a fat old ugly rich guy do? I mean what the hell next to him you will look like a raving beauty and he has the money to keep you looking that way.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 So you only want to date people you judge physically less attractive than yourself so that you can feel more secure and better about yourself? Yes. More comfortable hanging w/ trashy type non-attractive people. Feel as if I fit it even though I stick out. Don't want to date them but feel that's what I've stuped to. Don't have to worry about someone else coming along. Attractive people r flooded with attractive women. I consider myself good looking but I can't compete with that.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 Will a fat old ugly rich guy do? I mean what the hell next to him you will look like a raving beauty and he has the money to keep you looking that way. Love is love. I don't settle for rich guys because their rich.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Is there an insecurity issue dating a partner who is less attractive? Less attractive than who...yourself? No...no insecurity issue...but maybe a narcississtic complex.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 How is that a narcissistic complex?
Vera_Louise Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 It's all so subjective. So I can't answer that. In general, though, I say that if the man is less attractive, he doesn't have low self-esteem because of this. I would say a woman who is less attractive than the male might be more likely to have self esteem issues, but definitely not always.
Vera_Louise Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 I dont know if Ive ever seen a woman who I said to myself wow shes more attractive than me, but if I was dating some one who isnt the picture perfect version of perfection say like a car acident survivor who had there face smached through a windshield and looked like a zombie or something if I liked the girl and found myself attracted to her it wouldnt matter to me what other people said in fact I would probably kick a persons butt if they said anything about it. Interesting analogy.
Jinxx Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Attractive people r flooded with attractive women. I consider myself good looking but I can't compete with that. And why don't you feel you can't compete? I do believe it could have to with insecurity issues.
Dadaal Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 My opinion is that attractive women are always hunted by men regardless of their status( single, married, etc).If she rejects 10 men each day, then, she will definitely accept the next 10.
Topper Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 My opinion is that attractive women are always hunted by men regardless of their status( single, married, etc).If she rejects 10 men each day, then, she will definitely accept the next 10. I have dated some very I mean knockout woman drop dead gorgeous woman. They had the looks but they didn't put out the vibe that they were available. They may have gotten hit on a lot but I'm secure with who I am. the trust was there and I only had one cheat on me. I think a less attractive woman might be more tempted to cheat if she is insure. Being seen as sexy might be her way of getting validation.
Author VirtualInsanity Posted April 13, 2007 Author Posted April 13, 2007 My last boyfriend was attractive, popular, make anyone laugh, charming, & could have anyone. Surrounded by girls many times. We broke up because of jealously (I think). Couple of my friends liked him. They flirted with him a lot & he LOVED it. I told him that they liked him. Said he knew but did nothing. They went & told him something & he broke up right on the spot. I was pulled through so much. Defended myself against gossip. THAT is why I can't compete w/ attractive people. Drama & constant knowing I could lose him any second due to jealously. That & attractive guys always surrounded by girls & flirting...oh the flirting. I want a guy who only wants one women. Sort of why I go for unattractive ones. No worries. By the way he's still friends w/ them & has another blondie "get whatever I want" for a girlfriend. Last year I did pass up on a attractive guy who I thought was better looking. I didn't want to go through it again.
IpAncA Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I can relate. I've had friends back stab me over a guy using rumors/crap and so have some of my other friends. It's immature, stupid, and IMO people like that are never going to go away. Actually when I was in college one of my roommates tried to break up my other roommate and her bf. However she failed and their still together I think. Not sure. It very well could be but why settle for someone that you are not fully attracted to? ^Just using your quote. I agree. Seems like you wouldn't be happy in the long run. Trust me you don't want to marry someone, be unhappy, and doubt. I'm saying that yeah it's someone being insecure. However in your case I tend to lean towards something else and insecure. I dont know if Ive ever seen a woman who I said to myself wow shes more attractive than me, but if I was dating some one who isnt the picture perfect version of perfection say like a car acident survivor who had there face smached through a windshield and looked like a zombie or something if I liked the girl and found myself attracted to her it wouldnt matter to me what other people said in fact I would probably kick a persons butt if they said anything about it. Well put KMT. BTW forgive me for the messy post and leaving stuff out. On meds! LOL!!
monkey00 Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 For me I don't want a partner who is so attractive that it makes me look or feel ugly. Make sense? You could look at the glass half full. Maybe that attractive person could make you feel special and attractive about yourself - with all the girls/guys he/she they can choose to be with, they choose to be with you and no one else. But based off your past experiences i wouldnt blame you for thinking otherwise. The big question is, do you settle for less or go after what you want and take a risk? For me as long as the partner has qualities that make her attractive, i could care less if she wasnt a model.
Trialbyfire Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 For me as long as the partner has qualities that make her attractive, i could care less if she wasnt a model. This is the way I've always felt about the guys I've dated or had a relationship with. For example, I find bright guys so much more attractive than the not so intelligent guy and I don't mean the nitwit who's book-smart but can't apply anything to real life. VI, look to the guys internally. Sense of humour, whatnot. Who cares what the outside looks like as long as it isn't repulsive. If he ends up being good-looking, it's icing on the cake.
squeak Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 TBF gives the best advice each time! Well, VI seems you are looking for a sure way to avoid pain, and thinking maybe a formula can be applied. I can think of a few situations of acquaintances whee you would have thought the less attractive partner would have been *grateful* or worshipping to the more attractive partner, but was actually dogging around on the side. TBF is right, it is more about the quality of the individual person on the inside.
pelagicsands Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Is there an insecurity issue dating a partner who is less attractive? Luckily for me, I could never have that problem. Anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone looks a little snazzier when you're holding a beer.
Teacher's Pet Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I guess I look at it from the other viewpoint. I have an ex (no, not the dreaded "B"), who I always considered to be much more attractive that I am. From that point of view, it's a self-esteem BOOST, I think, to be able to say "See that really beautiful gal? She's with ME" and actually MEAN it. My ex, "H" had very soft features, a gorgeous smile, and what I thought was a great body (especially after she started really working out a lot). Her looks, my looks, "our looks" was NEVER a factor in our relationship. We simply loved each other for what we gave each other. I gave her complete support and understanding (she didn't always have the "easiest" of lives), and she gave me companionship, and a feeling of being completely "desired" and "wanted" by a woman. For the vast majority of the time we spent together (5 1/2 years), we "completed" each other. We were the "cute couple" that annoys people. Kissing in public, holding hands in the rain, the whole corny (but romantic) deal. Sadly, some things aren't meant to last, but I do cherish what once was, and only hope she does the same. -tp beast to her beauty
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