luvtoto Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Since yesterday, I have four long-lost friends that are reaching out to me on my new Myspace account. Very much out-of-the-blue. Yes, I was happy about it yesterday...but, today, I am on the verge of having a friggin' panic attack. I am h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e at relationships. Most of the time, I will go out of my way to avoid forming them. But, I'll try, and the friendship always seems to end the same. It ends. Their expectations of what I can offer them is way too high. These friends of mine missed me terribly. They still consider me family after all this time. Which is quite confusing to me. I am seriously confused by how much they care. I just wanna ask them...why me?? Just having a bad day, I guess.
melodymatters Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Are these friends local and pressing for a get together ? If not, I wouldn't worry, everyone gets excited at finding long lost friends but real life interrupts, and it goes back to an e-mail or a christmas card once a yr. I am wondering whats going on with ME. I used to be the most social butterfly, gregarious type, and now at 40 I am just sick of people and have a hard time even picking up the phone to say hi, let alone making PLANS, and GOING places. I don't know if i'm depressed or just " over" people in general !! I also am jealous that you got any positives out of my space ! My 13 yr old made me a page when she was bored, and i check it periodically. It's never been a long lost friend yet, just fugly guys, saying "hey wanna chat ?"
Author luvtoto Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 Are these friends local and pressing for a get together ? Yes, already this weekend on Sunday. I am getting scared. I am wondering whats going on with ME. I used to be the most social butterfly, gregarious type, and now at 40 I am just sick of people and have a hard time even picking up the phone to say hi, let alone making PLANS, and GOING places. I don't know if i'm depressed or just " over" people in general !! I totally relate with how you feel!! Yes, "over" it. I'll get caught up in things, and then out of nowhere I suddenly start to fret starting a new friendship or relationship. Like,...what if I fail or get rejected? The most content I've ever been, is when I'm just hanging out at home alone. I like my own company. I have been able to be friends with some people with no problem. But, they are not the pushy type. Any kind of pushing or expectations of me...and I want to R-U-N!!! I also am jealous that you got any positives out of my space ! My 13 yr old made me a page when she was bored, and i check it periodically. It's never been a long lost friend yet, just fugly guys, saying "hey wanna chat ?" Fugly guys! haha!
melodymatters Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Well, Luv, I am trying to push myself to do more to a point. For example a friend has been trying to get me to come to his fishing club meetings and I DO love fishing and have no friends in my new town, so i'm going to go. I KNOW at some point I will be watching the clock wondering when I can come home, but i really AM starting to worry about how isolated I am becoming. If I were you, I would make myself go to this one meeting. I think your about my age, and none of my GF's ever have time to get together between husbands, kids, immediate family and full time jobs, so this probably won't turn into a " oh my god, lets be best friends and sleep over each others house's every nite !!" If it looks like they want to turn it into a every thurs get together, agree and then whoops, a class, a kids soccer game, make SOMETHING up. ....But, ya may just enjoy yourself. I PREFER old friends, less pressure and as they say " you cant make NEW old friends !" Have fun ( or at least TRY )
dropdeadlegs Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Since yesterday, I have four long-lost friends that are reaching out to me on my new Myspace account. Very much out-of-the-blue. Yes, I was happy about it yesterday...but, today, I am on the verge of having a friggin' panic attack. I am h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e at relationships. Most of the time, I will go out of my way to avoid forming them. But, I'll try, and the friendship always seems to end the same. It ends. Their expectations of what I can offer them is way too high. These friends of mine missed me terribly. They still consider me family after all this time. Which is quite confusing to me. I am seriously confused by how much they care. I just wanna ask them...why me?? Just having a bad day, I guess. I went through something similar when Classmates.com came to be. In all honesty, I found reuniting with those from my long ago past wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be. Most of those I really wanted to hear from never contacted me. Those that did were either pretty messed up, or eternally blissful, and I consider myself somewhere in between. The one person I most wanted to reunite with had died of bladder cancer, and that depressed me. I sent a letter to her mother, a very belated condolence letter, but got no response. Not what I was looking for, but when you put yourself out there you get what you get, right? Maybe her Mom was still too hurt to respond, I can understand that. I would have handled it differently, but it's not for me to decide what's best for her. I have found that my myspace account has allowed the opportunity to correspond with actual friends more than anything else. I get info on my fave bands, too. On another note, my former mother-in-law found me, and that wasn't great. Sometimes the past is best left in the past. Don't panic, you can always delete your account if it's too overwhelming or bothersome.
Author luvtoto Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 Well, Luv, I am trying to push myself to do more to a point. For example a friend has been trying to get me to come to his fishing club meetings and I DO love fishing and have no friends in my new town, so i'm going to go. I KNOW at some point I will be watching the clock wondering when I can come home, but i really AM starting to worry about how isolated I am becoming. Yes, I am rather isolated, too. I did feel like getting out the other night, but had no one to go with me. So, I went alone. I didn't care. I sat down at a table to watch the entertainment alone, and I am NOT kidding...this lady I sat by looked directly at me. With this really confused look on her face. I don't think I'll ever forget that look. But, I felt more comfortable hanging out alone, than to introduce myself and make new friends. I mean, I have friends, but only certain people "get me" and my need for privacy. I don't like to feel invaded. If I were you, I would make myself go to this one meeting. I think your about my age, and none of my GF's ever have time to get together between husbands, kids, immediate family and full time jobs, so this probably won't turn into a " oh my god, lets be best friends and sleep over each others house's every nite !!" I HAVE to go to her house this weekend. She would kill me if I didn't. She wouldn't understand if I didn't. She did make the comment that we need to catch up alot!! That scares me, too. That requires bonding. Have fun ( or at least TRY ) I will try. We used to be thick as thieves. But, I deserted the friendship. Who's to say I won't again? I went through something similar when Classmates.com came to be. In all honesty, I found reuniting with those from my long ago past wasn't as fulfilling as I thought it would be. Most of those I really wanted to hear from never contacted me. Those that did were either pretty messed up, or eternally blissful, and I consider myself somewhere in between. The one person I most wanted to reunite with had died of bladder cancer, and that depressed me. I sent a letter to her mother, a very belated condolence letter, but got no response. Not what I was looking for, but when you put yourself out there you get what you get, right? Maybe her Mom was still too hurt to respond, I can understand that. I would have handled it differently, but it's not for me to decide what's best for her. I have found that my myspace account has allowed the opportunity to correspond with actual friends more than anything else. I get info on my fave bands, too. On another note, my former mother-in-law found me, and that wasn't great. Sometimes the past is best left in the past. Don't panic, you can always delete your account if it's too overwhelming or bothersome. Yea, alot of our catching up is going to involve drudging up the past. I don't like talking about the past.
dropdeadlegs Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I haven't had to deal with this head on. I was fortunate to have phone contact versus in person contact. I also have the luxury of being far away, in the way of miles. There is NOTHING that you HAVE to do. If you need excuses, I am here to provide them. .I can come up with plausible excuses no matter what the occasion. I promise. Just PM me.
Art_Critic Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Maybe your new long lost friends will know of some nice hot single guys that are in need of a little Luvtoto Win/Win the way I read it....
alphamale Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I am h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e at relationships. Most of the time, I will go out of my way to avoid forming them. But, I'll try, and the friendship always seems to end the same. It ends. Their expectations of what I can offer them is way too high. These friends of mine missed me terribly. They still consider me family after all this time. Which is quite confusing to me. I am seriously confused by how much they care. I am pretty much the same way. I don't treat my friends too well and they love me even more. Its weird. Its like they always care for me more than I care for them. I guess friends are like lovers....the worse you treat them the more they like you.
Miss_Bee Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Since yesterday, I have four long-lost friends that are reaching out to me on my new Myspace account. Very much out-of-the-blue. Yes, I was happy about it yesterday...but, today, I am on the verge of having a friggin' panic attack. I am h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e at relationships. Most of the time, I will go out of my way to avoid forming them. But, I'll try, and the friendship always seems to end the same. It ends. Their expectations of what I can offer them is way too high. These friends of mine missed me terribly. They still consider me family after all this time. Which is quite confusing to me. I am seriously confused by how much they care. I just wanna ask them...why me?? Just having a bad day, I guess. You are obviously a kind loving fun person if these long lost friends are so excited to connect with you again. Just take it one day at a time, and keep it simple... Don't let let their expectations overwhelm you. If they truly care about you and are true friends then they'll understand you and what your about.
Author luvtoto Posted April 13, 2007 Author Posted April 13, 2007 There is NOTHING that you HAVE to do. If you need excuses, I am here to provide them. .I can come up with plausible excuses no matter what the occasion. I promise. Just PM me. Hahaha! I will remember that! Maybe your new long lost friends will know of some nice hot single guys that are in need of a little Luvtoto Win/Win the way I read it.... Well, my son's baseball coach called me today and asked me out to lunch tomorrow. I pretty much wrote him off. He did however seem more down to earth tonight on the phone. I'll give him another shot. I am pretty much the same way. I don't treat my friends too well and they love me even more. Its weird. Its like they always care for me more than I care for them. I guess friends are like lovers....the worse you treat them the more they like you. I don't treat my friends badly on purpose. I seriously don't want to slam the door on any of them. I just do. When they come running back, I don't understand why. Could it be possible that they really DO care about me?? You are obviously a kind loving fun person if these long lost friends are so excited to connect with you again. Just take it one day at a time, and keep it simple... Don't let let their expectations overwhelm you. If they truly care about you and are true friends then they'll understand you and what your about. Is it possible that they really do care about me?? If they do...then, I don't trust that feeling. Once I get comfortable...the rug will get yanked out from underneath my feet and *BAM*, I'll be on my ass!! My butt has been broken too many times before.
Miss_Bee Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Hahaha! I don't treat my friends badly on purpose. I seriously don't want to slam the door on any of them. I just do. When they come running back, I don't understand why. Could it be possible that they really DO care about me?? Is it possible that they really do care about me?? If they do...then, I don't trust that feeling. Once I get comfortable...the rug will get yanked out from underneath my feet and *BAM*, I'll be on my ass!! My butt has been broken too many times before. Obviously they Do care about you luv. I'm sure that they miss you terribly and are wondering what is wrong with them You have tonnes of friends on LS, i mean, what makes them so different than RL friends that you interact with everyday? Or what for that matter has changed since you were friends with them before you have lost touch? I'm the same way BTW, in a different way though. I have been burned by a few of my best female friends. Every time i find myself getting close to someone, i end up pushing them away. WHen that's the last thing that i want to do. I see my self doing it and think no! But i do it anyway.
alphamale Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Could it be possible that they really DO care about me?? of course they do....few go back for more mis-treatment unless they really care for you. my whole issue is control. if i cannot control the friendship then I usually get rid of them. its differnt with my family and really close long time friends.
Pyro Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Since yesterday, I have four long-lost friends that are reaching out to me on my new Myspace account. Very much out-of-the-blue. Yes, I was happy about it yesterday...but, today, I am on the verge of having a friggin' panic attack. I am h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e at relationships. Most of the time, I will go out of my way to avoid forming them. But, I'll try, and the friendship always seems to end the same. It ends. Their expectations of what I can offer them is way too high. These friends of mine missed me terribly. They still consider me family after all this time. Which is quite confusing to me. I am seriously confused by how much they care. I just wanna ask them...why me?? Just having a bad day, I guess. They are just excited to get to see you after so long, plus has it ever occured to you that you are just easy to like and get along with? There is nothing wrong with that, plus its not like you have to see them all the time. You all have your own lives and your own families, plus you said that they are a few hours away so how often will you really have to worry about seeing them?
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