Sassy Gal Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 my father in law has been living with us for 3 1/2 years. he got screwed bad in the divorce and moved to the middle east with friends, but ended up back in the states.....at the time i was 8 mos preg with our 2nd child, and we thought he was returning to the middle east so we said, stay as long as you need.....we thought that was to fix his affairs. now 3 1/2 yrs later, he helps a lot....watches the youngins so we dont have the daycare bill, fixes dinner, does cleanup, almost like a maid......but there are things bothering me.... 1) i have a rule that no one smokes in the house. my husband and i go outside even in the snow to have one.....yet my FIL will smoke in the basement and stink up the whole house. i have asked him not to as has my hubby, but he continues. 2) he will NOT listen to me regarding my 3rd old's potty training. he will not put her in underwear with a rubber pant over it, it's always pull ups......and they're expensive.....she's lazy and knows she can "go" in them, so many times she does. my husband just got laid off, so i can't afford to keep buying them...... 3) also, his idea of "watching" her is to plop her in front of Nog/n network all day watching Dora and other shows, while he checks his email. little one has already gotten out of the house one day while he was in the shower, and a neighbor caught her and called the police. he still does this a year later. he knows we can't afford for him to leave, and that he can't afford to be on his own......what do i do????
Author Sassy Gal Posted April 13, 2007 Author Posted April 13, 2007 i told hubby last nite: i will say the same thing to you that you said to me when we were living with my mother: you told me, it's your mom, you talk to her. well, it's your dad, you talk to him!!!
Touche Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 So what did your husband say? Will he talk to him?
Author Sassy Gal Posted April 13, 2007 Author Posted April 13, 2007 he said, it was a good point, but said nothing else
Touche Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 he said, it was a good point, but said nothing else So your marriage is a one-way street? Why didn't you insist that he speak to his father? Is he afraid of to stand up to him the same way you seem to be afraid to stand up to your husband?
Author Sassy Gal Posted April 24, 2007 Author Posted April 24, 2007 he talked to his dad. and so far, he has stopped smoking in the house. the potty training is going better. plus now that it's nice outside, the little one doesn't just want to sit in the house all day, so he's forced to take her outside more.
Author Sassy Gal Posted July 30, 2007 Author Posted July 30, 2007 since i haven't been here, my little girl is pretty much potty trained & the smoking in the house has Ceased!
1stchild Posted August 7, 2007 Posted August 7, 2007 Dear Sassy Gal, Sounds as if you have a major confict on your hands. Did you set down the rules prior to you FIL moving in? If you did you'll have to go over the rules again. I know that it is difficult to change a persons behavior, but you must tell him that if he will not do as you request in regards to the smoking in the house and the potty training that he must move out. That should bring him around to your way of thinking. If it doesn't ask for his advise as to how he thinks that a girl child of 3 years should be potty trained and how he would have accomplished it. Most children will self potty train by the age of 3 and girls are usually younger.
Recommended Posts