Spirit Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Hi Loveshack, To me, I feel good acknowledging to a friend his or her birthday when it comes around. (I'll at least send an e-card or phone my friend.) I really don't do this to be manipulative, expecting something materialistic in return. I just think that wishing "happy birthday" to somebody is a nice, thoughtful jesture to acknowledge to him or her that somebody else cares about the person on his or her special day. Wishing a happy birthday to others actually makes me feel good. In tradition, my family (my parents and my brother) and I do share a cake to acknowledge each other's birthdays. My family mean the most to me; I am content knowing that we care about each other and will always support each other. Plain and simple, I must feel fortunate about this and ought to be content. Having said that, I suppose that a part of me hopes (selfishly) that there are people outside of my family who care enough about me. I've received many belated birthday wishes (which I am grateful for). I had my friends celebrate my belated birthday the year before, only again not to remember my birthdate this year. This year, I even told my three "closest friends" my birthdate (March 26) a month ahead of time -- and I still have yet to hear from them. Does this mean that all of these people don't care enough about me that they choose not to even call me and say "hi" on the day when I was born? (I know that this is extremely selfish of me to think considering that people are busy with their own lives. Unfortunately, this is how I feel at times.) I am grown-up and I do believe (contrary to what some of you may think) that I have the esteem not to need other people's best wishes to be independent and strong. Perhaps there's a part of me seeking acknowledgement that I'm making a difference in the lives of other people. Perhaps there's that youthful part of me that needs convincing not to yearn for acknowledgment from friends: I have the support of myself and my family -- what more do I want? So after all of this ranting (and thank you for bearing with me ), I'm still just curious to wonder whether or not adults generally care about wishing other adults a "happy birthday" -- or are such celebrations mainly kept within family and prepared for the children? Based on my experience, the case is the latter.
Poboy Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 i dont know how old you are but here are some things to consider 1. many people are not good in remembering bdays ... im one of them and really suck at it so i end up missing wishing them and so they dont wish me on mine ... fair enuff but the real close friends do call me even if i didnt on their bday. thats true friends . 2. you may be expecting too much from so called "friends" who might not be that close enough to wish you on the day even though you think they are and you find them close enough to wish them. i have observed friends in college may not be that close once out the place and things die down even though you are in touch with them but not that well enuff to be wishing each other on bdays. 3. its a very selfish world simply and people have "busy" lives and cant go about contacting everyone on their bdays .. too much effort. so be happy in whoever does contacts you , and you feel right about contacting them and let it be ... dont expect too much
Author Spirit Posted April 13, 2007 Author Posted April 13, 2007 so be happy in whoever does contacts you , and you feel right about contacting them and let it be ... dont expect too much Thank you Poboy for your wisdom. It is true that I feel disappointed when people generally don't meet my expectations of them. I am humbly reminded that people are busy and do not live their lives by my command. I should feel fortunate enough to know my friends and others close to me for they help me to become an improved person. By not putting an expectation on a person, they would have none to follow through on; hence, there would be no reason to feel so disappointed at him or her. I don't know if what I had just written read to make sense, but it makes sense to me. I am reminded to be content and happy with what people offer to me of their energy and time.
Jinxx Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I am reminded to be content and happy with what people offer to me of their energy and time. Now that is the way to handle it!
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