MikeC Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 My GF of 5 months has broken up with me for the 2nd time. I know what went wrong, but I can't prove this to her anymore. Even though I should be moving on, I can't. I dwell everyday, sometimes all day on her. I focus on the good times and it is eating me alive. She said she wanted space. 2 days later, she broke up with me. By space, she meant NC. This to me, is like death. I want to call her so badly, I want to see her. It almost seems as if I am becoming obsessed with getting her back, when she is the one that dumped me. It is consuming me and I am sick and tired of feeling this way. I can't move on in my mind. I feel like a prisoner in my own head. All I see are good moments that I can never have again, and the chance to share my life with her and her daughter again. I have been depressed for about a week now. I can't imagine my life without her, but I'm tired of feeling this way. Help!
Icantletgo Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 I'm sorry MikeC. Trust me, NC will be the best for you. Loving someone and having them not love you back or questioning their love for you is hard. But having to see them and talk to them on a daily basis will kill you more. you'll begin to see that the way they look at you is different. Be strong. Cause NC will be the best thing you can ever do. Good luck.
bchlvr Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Mike, I can understand how frustrating and despairing things may seem right now...wanting to move on but feeling consummed by the loss of this relationship. Grief seems to take on a life of its own, doesn't it? Part of grief is the tremendous longing for the person you loved and preoccupation with thoughts about her. All of that is normal, but if you are feeling really depressed most of the time, then you might consider counseling to help deal with some of this pain. I can relate to your experience. For many months I was obsessed with my ex, could not get her off my mind. Over the months, I tried to think about how far I've come rather than why I'm not further along in the process of moving on and getting over her. Slowly, I've thought about her less and less. More time went by throughout the day when I had a break from the awful preoccupation. The things that helped me most: Absolutely no contact in any form. I could not even hear about her from mutual friends. I stopped attending a social group we both belonged to because being there was just too painful. I forced myself to go out to other social venues, make new friends and take up new interests. Each one of these steps helped me feel that I could enjoy my life without my ex. Each step also helped to restore my self esteem. I've read through some of your other posts. You have a lot of insight. You offer great advice and are empathetic. You sound like youre very centered. You have many strengths to draw on to help you get through this. Don't contact your ex...keep posting here....get professional support if the feelings of depression don't subside.
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