Guest Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Hi everyone, I have a bit of a dilemma. It's not hugely serious but I just wondered if someone could offer some advice. About 4 months ago I split up with my girlfriend of about 2 and a half years. I did love her, but because she cheated on me I convinced myself she wasn't worth being upset over, and I think I'm more or less over her. She has a new boyfriend whom I believe to be the guy she cheated on me with. Despite that, I like to think one day I could be friends with her. It is quite important to me that I stay on good terms with my ex's if I can. I know she has a new boyfriend and I made my peace with that a while ago, but I'd still prefer that she didn't start spouting details about their relationship to me. She text me today for the first time in 3 months, asking how I was and saying she knew I had a new girlfriend (which I don't), and she asked who it was. That bit confuses me a bit. Mainly though, I'm trying to figure out whether I should reply to her or not. Does anyone have any thoughts? Thanks!
Max Overclock Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Solution is simple. Write the following: Hi ____________, Long time no talk. I'm doing fine. Hope things are good with you. All the best. (In other words: only respond to that which you wish. Afterall, you owe her nothing, nor does she you.) The real problem, I suspect, is that you still have feelings for her, and .. dare I suggest ... you may not be completely closed to the idea of a relationship with her in time to come, should her situation not be going so nicely? Am I right or am I right? Max
2ndIINone Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 She text me today for the first time in 3 months, asking how I was and saying she knew I had a new girlfriend (which I don't), and she asked who it was.Translation = "I screwed up, I feel a little guilty, I wanna talk to him, but I need a reason to start the conversation... I hope he didn't move on without me..... he was a good guy who loved me and I screwed it up for us and him. Then I rubbed it in his face by getting serious with the guy I cheated on him with. So lemme just assume he's dating someone new so that I don't feel as bad for what I did to him. And if he says he's NOT seeing anybody, then I win, and he's apparently not over me yet.... He loves, loves, loves me.... and I need to know that and need to know that he can't do better then me in the future because I have soooo many issues." You don't need to be friends with this girl. She cheated on you. Therefore, doesn't respect you. Everybody has friends... good friends... so why do you feel you need to be friends with her.... honestly, she has nothing to offer you.
jusified Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 I agree with 2ndI, you don't need her as a friend or in your life. A real friend wouldn't hurt youlike she did, to keep her in your life will make things essy and trust me shes not worth it.
Icantletgo Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 My ex cheated on me. he wants us to be friends cause now he's having problems with the girl he is seeing. I'm still completely in love w/ him so now I'm stuck in this pointless friendship in hopes that he'll love me again. Should you be friends with her? NO. You have more caring and sincere and HONEST and loyal friends than she can ever be. Will you be friends with her? Probably. If you weren't considering it, you wouldn't have posted this thread. Seriously, you need to move on w/ your life. Even though you THINK you dont ever want to be w/ her again and that you are okay...you won't be once you see her and start spending more time w/ her. Learn from me. MOVE ON and kick that lying cheater out of your life.
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