dropdeadlegs Posted April 18, 2007 Posted April 18, 2007 Your prayer request has been forwarded to the man upstairs. Having a "cue card" help me a lot when dealing with emotional topics. Without an "agenda" I get lost in the conversation and end up having unresolved issues once it's over. Nobody likes to keep beating their drum continually, and having to keep bringing up sensitive things. I hope that just having a plan has given you a sense of calm , at least more calm than you had before. Good luck with the conversation. I'll be around to celebrate with or console you, whatever may be the case.
ls3360 Posted April 18, 2007 Posted April 18, 2007 The note card idea is a good idea. It can come in handy when the SO wants to minimize conversation and simply chill for a while. The point about not contacting him until you really know what to say is also good. After you decide, still don't contact him for a day. Instead see if your thinking changes as time passes. If it does, wait until your thinking is stable. OTOH... more generally, I don't think you should contact him. Almost every time you've contacted him recently, you've made things worse (or at least the contact has). There is no point in contacting him. You can quietly break things off in your heart, contact him and try to improve things, or contact him and break things off. I suspect the two of you will end up broken up PDQ which ever of these you chose. And of these, contacting him to fix it will be the worst for you. My suggestion is to forget about him right now. Whatever happens, happens. I think your real goal now should be about you, not him or you+him. Improve your ability to give your SO space. Short of breaking things off yourself, that skill seems like the only thing you have control over and the only one that will be clearly winning. Focus on improving how you handle situations like this. It will quietly pay off again and again. We've posted suggestions for you to try. Gilmore Girls for example. And don't give up on the idea of posting to help others or reading about others. Despite your current turmoil, you _can_ help others. Also read about others that have gone through almost the same thing as you. Hear it in their words. Hear what your brain tells you they should do. Listen to your own advice. And understand that you're not alone in this. J.
Author SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted April 24, 2007 Author Posted April 24, 2007 I hungout with him Friday night we talked and did get into a little spat about things however I was still unclear what was going on....He called me Saturday and told me that he was going out for guys night out (I was upset but I didnt show it; I just told him to have fun) most the night he was out he texted me little silly things (i loved it) Then when he woke up on sunday he called me and we hungout we even watched the Sopranos together! I don’t know about him but I feel so much better about our relationship...I just dont want to jump the gun....what should I do?
dropdeadlegs Posted April 24, 2007 Posted April 24, 2007 Take it one day at a time. That sounds so cliche' but it's really what we are all doing every day. You sound better than you did last week. It seems you got at least some resolution. I assume you can at least sleep now. Enjoy what time you have together whether that be days, months, or years. I hope you will get to finally celebrate that anniversary.
Author SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted April 26, 2007 Author Posted April 26, 2007 Thanks again...for all your help really!!! I just dont know what to do....Things havent been the same with us I dont know what he feels anymore...I just called him alittle while ago to see how his day was going and to see how he was feeling (he has a cold) and he just rushed me off the phone stating that he was busy..... Maybe he was maybe he wasn't but why be so rude about it!! I dont know maybe I'm looking into it too much....I just wish I knew....
Author SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted April 27, 2007 Author Posted April 27, 2007 I so fed up with this **** I dont know what else to do but VENT!!!! I just got off the phone with him and well....he went out with some people from work and forgot to call me back.....how f**ken rude is that!!! How the f**k do you forget to call back!!!!! I dont deserve to be treated this way!!!
JCD Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 You are in love and when in love, logic is not there and it makes you look immature even if you're really not. What he needs now is a no nonsense kind of girl or perhaps just a friend to hang out with. I don't think he wants to get emotionally involved with anyone at this point. In order for him to get emotionally involved with you he needs to know he can trust you 100%. Anything less will drag him into the drama and he doesn't want to be there. So, if you want him back I suggest you quit the power game with him. Be there for him and let him be in power. Be submissive because that will come across to him as trusting and loving. He needs a woman that he can trust and who doesn't create unnecessary drama for him. He will then fall in love with you again and then you can get some power back from him because he will allow you to have it instead of resisting you like he is doing now.
Author SLEEPLESS IN NJ Posted May 1, 2007 Author Posted May 1, 2007 Just curious, if you don't mind, how old are you two? Im 26.....JCD Thanks for the words...I dont know what I'm going to do...now with all this other crap (read other thread)
Recommended Posts