Not sure if it's mutual

[slave to a Savior]

Honestly, I can't believe I'm writing this. I'm normally one to give advice, and here I am feeling like a High School girl all over again. It feels a little silly, attacks my pride, and yet somehow none of that matters right now. Here goes.

 

About ... A week or so ago, I get an e-mail from a guy, very brief. Mentions he knows a friend of mine. Actually, she had been talking to him and said he spoke too "philosophically" for her and that he should meet me.

 

Exchange a few short messages, then decide to add each other to messenger for better communication. Chat runs long, and we decide to take it to the phone to give our eyes a rest. We talk for about four hours. I felt so embarrassed by the end of the night just because we'd let it go that long. It's natural to know these things don't happen often.

 

The same happens the next night. And the night after. Mutual discussion, not one-sided. Both quite enjoying each other's company. The last time I clicked this well with a guy, I almost ended up marrying that guy. Naturally, I'm not too sure what to think right now, but I know that I can't get this new guy out of my head.

 

One thing, though. At one point, he brought up this girl he's attracted to. It's not mutual; in fact, the other girl wound up blocking him. He asked me for my advice, and I told him that unrequited attraction just freaks people out, he's better off leaving it be and what happens will happen. Now that's honest advice, but a part of me wants him to forget her for more selfish reasons. It's a bit of a put-off, but I'm not so sure he meant to use it to push me away; everything else speaks differently. I think it's a matter of not getting these things.

 

I mean, he's talked about not having too much of a social life. I've been there. I know what that's like. I know that you could be attracted to a person and say stupid things to them, like talking about an ex, and soforth ... People with social lives analyse these red flags critically, but some of us are more laid back about it, I guess. Some of us are more concerned with openness and honesty and just getting it all out than playing games.

 

I guess my question is this -- is there any good way for a person suddenly struck shy to find out if the feeling is mutual? I invited him to a social gathering this week and he eagerly accepted. Then I asked him if he wanted to come a little early so we could grab something to eat for "lunch" (even though it will be well into late afternoon.) A very positive yes.

 

I could well be stretching my mind about this, but I'm driving myself crazy about it, now. I'm in a bit too deep with my thoughts, a little too excited at the possibility, perhaps, before I even know for sure if he feels anything back. He hasn't been in a relationship before, and based on memory, I know how things can be confusing for a person who has no experience with relationships -- you're not sure what means what and how things work. It strikes you shy.

 

I'll be seeing him in a couple days. In the past, I've been told I put off a confident air -- I seem like a person who has it all together. I make shy people think they shouldn't even bother asking. How do I go about this? Do I say something? When? How? What's my best bet, here? I wish I could just out with it, but I have this fear that if it's not mutual, I'll risk a perfectly good friend.

 

Yeah, same old, same old. I'd tell a person in my situation to just go for it for all sake of honesty ... But it's easier said than done. I'm frightened and my head is spinning. I've met a person I really appreciate and who really clicks with me, and I suppose I could use a few suggestions, encouragement or something.

 

Any ideas?