konfuzd Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 I lost my aunt 3 weeks ago to breast cancer, and now a really close family friend who's been in my life since I was born just passed away from a sudden heart attack. I am having a really hard time coping with all of this and in such close proximity. I was just starting to get it together after the loss of my aunt, and now I'm back to my lowest point again. I am trying so hard to be strong for the rest of my family, but once I'm alone, I just break down and am having a really hard time functioning. I live alone, and my household chores have gone to hell. I can't seem to keep up with it all and it's just adding to my stress. Any suggestions on how to get my life back to normal?
quankanne Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 K, I'm truly, truly sorry to about your loss ... it sounds like your body and mind really hadn't had a chance to recuperate from the grief and stress of your aunt's death when it was gobsmacked by the loss of your friend. And that could be triggering a situational type of depression to cope with these things. talk to your doctor or even the nurse practitioner at the physicians office. He may prescribe antidepressants to help your body get the chemical lift it needs to get you through to a healthier spot, or he may prescribe vitamins/minerals to do the same. And I'm sure he'll suggest that you find something to help alleviate the stress – exercise, doing something you enjoy, etc. if you're able, ask a close friend or family member to help with your house, just until you feel you've got a firmer grip on things and are able to handle things on your own. Don't ever be worried about using your support system to help you though these kinds of trials – when my mom died, my best friend was the one who got me through, alternately mothering me by making sure I ate and rested when I stayed with her, and keeping things "sane" by including me in the day-to-day goings on in her life and in general. It was like she knew I needed those things to keep things in perspective, and she was so right. I honestly don't know what I'd have done without her. this place also is a great support system – people are genuinely kind and want to help when you are going through troubled times, and they're willing to help you laugh when you need it most. hugs, q
blind_otter Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Time is the only balm for the grieving heart. My Dad passed away in October of last year and I still miss him a lot and it hurts like hell that he's not around. But it gets easier to cope with as time goes on. Have faith in yourself and trust that as you allow yourself to grieve, things will get better.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 I'm very sorry about your situation, Konfuzd. It's even more difficult when you're staying alone. How far are you from your family? If you can, just visit them. You will feel better, and so will they. Although it can work both ways - sometimes you just need to take a break from everything, because being in a situation where everyone is so upset, can set you off too. Are you working right now? Work will help divert your focus. If you aren't working, stay in touch with people you can talk to. Develop a habit that keeps you busy and establish a routine - anything that keeps you going. Taking a walk, posting on LS...whatever occupies you for a period of time every day. That will give you something to look forward to. You'll have an idea of what you'll be doing each day. It will be ok, give it some time.
Trialbyfire Posted April 25, 2007 Posted April 25, 2007 I am trying so hard to be strong for the rest of my family With the assumption that the rest of your family are adults, I think you need to help each other. You can't be the only strength in the family. Lean back on them and you might be surprised how strong they can be as well. Beyond that, take care of yourself. Try to take the time away and re-energize. Take a walk alone so no one's clamouring for a piece of you, so you can focus your energies back onto yourself.
Author konfuzd Posted April 25, 2007 Author Posted April 25, 2007 Thank you all for your kind words and support. Since I last posted, I've had some better days, but still having some rough ones. How far are you from your family? My family is 12 hours away by car. I have talked to them about going to visit, but my mom feels as though it would be a burden to them. (I know she's not trying to be rude, but she's the type of person who needs to have an immaculate house and big meals for her guests-even when it's just me). Are you working right now? Yes, I do work. I have a very mentally focussed job, so it has helped a lot in the healing to keep my mind occupied on other things.
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