Armor Wolf Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 My gf of 3 weeks told me this past weekend that she want to take things slow with me. The problem is because after 1 week she broke up with her ex she got with me. Her friend was insisting that we was using as a "rebound". However, she says that isn't the case, we liked each other for more than a year but couldn't do anything because we had a huge argument and stopped speaking to each other. Then she had a bf and I moved on myself. Now that i'm with her now, it seems that it was at the wrong time. How should I take things slowly? how often should I call her and etc? the first two weeks she was all over me, calling me and etc. Ever since this past weekend I haven't heard much from her. She told me she doesn't wan to end it because she likes me a lot but I'm just so confused on what to do.
amaysngrace Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Just back off and wait for her to make the next move. That's what I'd do. It's what she's requested afterall.
mental_traveller Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Well, first of all you should just back off. Act as though you aren't even dating, just meeting up from time to time. I.e. learn to care a bit less about her. Also if you have not had sex or the "exclusivity" talk yet, then quite honestly you should be free to date around as well. Tell her you're ok with her backing off, but in that case you'll consider it ok for either of you to date other people. See how she reacts. Really you can't have a "girlfriend" after 3 weeks unless you are both really seriously into each other. She is already cooling down, so she's more a regular date than a gf. Unless you are really serious about her, then it might be better to keep your options open.
Shadowdog36 Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 At this point, not calling her at all would be your best bet. Allow her to make all contact with you from this point on...until she asks about it. Then let her know that you're trying to give her the space that she asked for. She'll either get the hint, or appreciate the consideration. Either way you win. I gonna tell you, this is a critical time. Do not initiate any contact, not even a text. This is exactly what happened to me, and when she asked for space, I sent a brief text that day saying, 'Just cause I was thinking about you' and that was all it took. She told me that I couldn't even give her one day. A text!?!? Tread lightly...
DanielMadr Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Im sorry but I think its Red Flag. Her interest in you plummeted down. It could be she wants to figure you out....if you are not obssesed about her etc. but bottom line is - she is not that into you. Have you two had sex already? If not. I think she is lost. Three options: 1. Be a good puppy and wait and wait, bark and wait, wait and then bark and maybe she will come back eventually when she make up her mind.....probably not. 2. Realize she is not that perfect, b/c she cant appreciate your attention. And take it slowly yourself aka look for more willing specimen (if she is not that perfect without pink glasses of love) or just go sailing on Barbados and wait for her to contact you. 3. Dont bite your nails beside your phone, dont analyze it on internet etc.. Do some fun stuff for lets say 14 days. Then ask her out. If she declines, tell her you like her but you dont deserve this. And if she is not willing....eject completely. Dont waste your time with girls who dont like you that much for whatever reason. It can be she is emotionally hurt or what but you dont have to waste your time on her....your not a shrink. Talk is cheap. Look for her actions!!!
VinaAmez Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Now that i'm with her now, it seems that it was at the wrong time. How should I take things slowly? how often should I call her and etc? the first two weeks she was all over me, calling me and etc. Ever since this past weekend I haven't heard much from her. She told me she doesn't wan to end it because she likes me a lot but I'm just so confused on what to do. Wondering how long she's going to do this. I'd talk to her about it. She is your gf.
2ndIINone Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 3. Dont bite your nails beside your phone, dont analyze it on internet etc.. Do some fun stuff for lets say 14 days. Then ask her out. If she declines, tell her you like her but you dont deserve this. And if she is not willing....eject completely.Good advice, but I'd make it 3 months, not 14 days.... for the simple fact, she's not interested anymore. And in 3 months, he could grow from a puppy dog, to a vicious PitPull with some confidence.... making him look much more attractive. Dump her and let her get over her ex.Simply put and to the point. You are a rebound..... an ego boost... a 'safezone' for her.... never date/get emotionally attached to someone who is still emotionally attached to their ex.
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 I think she is just playing the waiting game herself. I've been reading alot of relationship books and the dating rules for women all say the same thing. If you want a guy to respect you, make him work for it...make him think that when he ends up with you that he has won some major prize, and he will value it. The rules say not to call, not to be available, and he will be wondering where you are, and will chase after you. So how come I read this stuff, and it never works for me? How come all the guys on here seem to do the same thing? How come all my friends WIN at this game uggggh so frustrating are you men!!!
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