christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 my best mate is going out with my cousin, who is like a sister . they started dating 2 weeks ago, but I found out only yesterday. ISNT IT A RULE THAT YOU CANNOT DATE YOUR BEST MATES RELATIVES what should i do? she's like a sister to me coz i don't have one so i treat her like one should i let them be or say something?
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 i dont feel comfortable with the idea its just not right why didn't they ask me if i was ok with them dating before going out?
sunshinegirl Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Why on earth would they need your permission to start dating? How arrogant.
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 im not being arrogant. i just think its weird. i mean he just asked her out and is telling me after 2 weeks? besides any relative of a friend is off-limits.
sunshinegirl Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 "any relative of a friend is off-limits." Do you think you're Tony Soprano or something? I'm glad you're not my cousin!!!!
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 well how do you know your cousin would be okay with something like this?
sunshinegirl Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Look, admittedly I'm not being very helpful. But your attitude just doesn't make any sense to me. I've never heard of such a "rule" about dating family members, much less extended family members. Do you think your cousin needs protection or something? Is your The only thing that even approaches a 'rule', in my opinion, is friends not dating other friends' former boyfriends/girlfriends.
sunshinegirl Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 well how do you know your cousin would be okay with something like this? Good grief. My cousins don't give a crap who I date, and no one else in my family, nuclear or extended, thinks it's their job to 'grant permission' and/or tell me who I can and can't date. Is it possible I'm missing some cultural thing here? Where are you from?
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 The only thing that even approaches a 'rule', in my opinion, is friends not dating other friends' former boyfriends/girlfriends. yes and siblings and family
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 Good grief. My cousins don't give a crap who I date, and no one else in my family, nuclear or extended, thinks it's their job to 'grant permission' and/or tell me who I can and can't date. well im really close to my extended family as well
sunshinegirl Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 I still don't understand why you think it's your right to have a say on whether they date each other. Could you please explain your reasoning? And does your cousin therefore also have a right to grant or deny permission on who you date?
whichwayisup Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 my best mate is going out with my cousin, who is like a sister . they started dating 2 weeks ago, but I found out only yesterday. ISNT IT A RULE THAT YOU CANNOT DATE YOUR BEST MATES RELATIVES what should i do? she's like a sister to me coz i don't have one so i treat her like one should i let them be or say something? Don't you want your best mate and your cousin to be happy? It IS NOT about YOU. It's their life, and if they've connected, that's a good thing! It sounds like you're jealous and insecure, maybe you feel like them hooking up will exclude you or you'll lose their friendship? What is it really that upsets you about them dating? i dont feel comfortable with the idea its just not right why didn't they ask me if i was ok with them dating before going out? Did you give birth to either of them? My guess is a big fat NO. I really hope you haven't said anything negative to them about this. It's not your place to interfer, deal with it, accept it or cut them both out of your life. Last thing they need is a jealous friend/cousin trying to ruin their happiness.
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 I still don't understand why you think it's your right to have a say on whether they date each other. Could you please explain your reasoning? And does your cousin therefore also have a right to grant or deny permission on who you date? well he's my best friend and she's my cousin<more like a sister like I said> they met at my place and started dating and never told me! besides if they break up it will be even worse for me
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 I really hope you haven't said anything negative to them about this. It's not your place to interfer, deal with it, accept it or cut them both out of your life. Last thing they need is a jealous friend/cousin trying to ruin their happiness. wel when my mate told me, he also said that if I had a problem with it, he would not continue the relationship. I didn't ask them to break up, besides he knows that I would never do that no matter how much of a problem I had.
sunshinegirl Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 well he's my best friend and she's my cousin<more like a sister like I said> they met at my place and started dating and never told me! besides if they break up it will be even worse for me So basically you don't want them to date because it could turn out badly for you. It's not even that your best mate is a slimeball and will likely hurt your cousin (or vice versa). You're not really gaining my sympathy but maybe somebody else can be more helpful to you. Though it's not exactly clear what you want...maybe you're just venting about something you have no control over?
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 one of my friends wanted to date his pal's sister, and they did although the pal wasn't happy and in the end none of them had a good relationship with each other
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 there are certain people that you just don't date okay it leads to complications and problems and nothing else
whichwayisup Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 there are certain people that you just don't date okay it leads to complications and problems and nothing else Or it could lead to something amazing, they could get married and have children, and become an even bigger part of your life. Again, this isn't about you. It is their life, their choice...And if by chance things don't work out, it's their problem, not yours. Don't get involved if things go badly between them. If either of them talk to you about, just refuse to get involved. I'ts as simple as that.
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 Or it could lead to something amazing, they could get married and have children, and become an even bigger part of your life. yeah what are the chances of that ...1 in a million? besides we can't even talk about our girlfriends anymore things can't be the same now you know i mean there are so many women out there, why did he have to go out with someone who is like a sister to me?
whichwayisup Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 things can't be the same now you know Once again, it's about you. Yes, things change. I mean, either one of them could get involved in the future with someone else, and EVERYTHING could change. Maybe you wouldn't like their new partner, maybe one or both move across the country. Stop being so negative about it, stop making it about you. LOOK at the positive - THEY are happy.
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 Once again, it's about you. Yes, things change. I mean, either one of them could get involved in the future with someone else, and EVERYTHING could change. Maybe you wouldn't like their new partner, maybe one or both move across the country. Stop being so negative about it, stop making it about you. LOOK at the positive - THEY are happy. yeah sure it's easy for you to say that...i still think they're wrong Maybe its just different for us guys
Author christian6 Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 maybe i should make it clear to them that i don't like that idea instead of acting uncomfortable. what do you peope think?
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