Myz_Heavenly Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 I never really got any clear advice from anyone when I posted before. My story was about the Navy guy who just stopped contacting me w/no explanation. It's been about 2 months now and if it is not too much trouble, does anyone have any advice on how to cope w/this type of situation? I really cared for this guy and the NC has just thrown me off balance big time b/c I didn't see it coming. His family doesn't understand it either and they ask me every now and then if he has called, but my answer is always the same. I emailed, called, texted and used every available method of contact to try to reach him, all to no avail. I just need to know how to deal with NC when you have no closure...Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Jinxx Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 I never really got any clear advice from anyone when I posted before. My story was about the Navy guy who just stopped contacting me w/no explanation. It's been about 2 months now and if it is not too much trouble, does anyone have any advice on how to cope w/this type of situation? I really cared for this guy and the NC has just thrown me off balance big time b/c I didn't see it coming. His family doesn't understand it either and they ask me every now and then if he has called, but my answer is always the same. I emailed, called, texted and used every available method of contact to try to reach him, all to no avail. I just need to know how to deal with NC when you have no closure...Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks. I am also dealing with my own closure issues so can relate to what you are going through. I don't have much adivce other than you just have accept it -- very difficult, I know. Don't beat yourself up over it just try and put it behind you the best you can and work to move forward. Until he is ready -- *if* that time ever comes to talk to you then there is not much you can do.
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 Thanks Jinxx. Not to say I'm happy you're going though the same thing, but it does help to know I am not the only person that has been dropped w/no explanation. I thought my situation was fine until he stopped calling. What happened in yours?
Jinxx Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Thanks Jinxx. Not to say I'm happy you're going though the same thing, but it does help to know I am not the only person that has been dropped w/no explanation. I thought my situation was fine until he stopped calling. What happened in yours? Well my situtation is a little more complicated and different. As horrible as this sounds, I was an OW. There really was no official ending. It just stopped. He probably just finally came to his senses and didn't know how to talk to me and give me closure, something I did ask for but he never found the time. I still see him on occasion so it is not like we don't see each other but rather we just don't *go there* and I certainly won't address the past. Have learned to accept it. I allowed myself to be put in that situation in the first place so have to own up to my part in it. I can't force him to discuss it. He has his own life and issues. I was just someone to have fun with as he was the same to me. Still have my moments though but each day gets a little better.
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 Well, it's great to hear that you are building yourself back up. Some days I don't know what to do. It's especially hard for me too b/c I am also legally separated and getting ready to go through a divorce. So, it's like trying to heal a heart that has been broken twice. The guy who started NC lives in another state, so I never see him, and he always spoke as if he couldn't wait to get out of the Navy so he can move back to his home state, which is where I am. I just don't understand... and I guess it's hard b/c I can't help but be around his family, i.e., his sister married my brother, and she always mentions him in some form of fashion almost everytime I'm around. I do believe in Karma though, so oh well, I'll try to be strong. You stay up too!
Jinxx Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Some days I don't know what to do. It's especially hard for me too b/c I am also legally separated and getting ready to go through a divorce. So, it's like trying to heal a heart that has been broken twice. I'm right there with you! I'm also in the middle of a divorce. There are so many times I want to go running back to my old life, my *comfort zone* but know that on so many levels it is most likely not the right thing to do. Plus STBEXH seems to be moving on quite nicely so I guess you can say I did him a favor by leaving. I do think our issues could be resolved through counselling -- lots of it, something he initially was totally for in the beginning but I wasn't. We just don't seem to be on the same page anymore. I have no idea what direction I'm going sometimes. I guess time will tell on that one.
Author Myz_Heavenly Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 There are so many times I want to go running back to my old life, my *comfort zone* but know that on so many levels it is most likely not the right thing to do. I read some of your old posts and they helped tremendously, i.e., the ones about finding out about the things the STBEXH said about you. I am going through one of those situations RIGHT now and I am steamed. He wants me back but I do believe he has an ulterior motive b/c he is getting deployed in a couple of months. He tells me he loves me, but when I logged into his email account he has pix of a half naked chic whom he tagged "da girlfriend" in his inbox. Men are....is there even a word to describe some of them?
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