oppath Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 3 months since the break up. I moved to a new town to obtain some space. And to make some temporary $$. And to gain perspective on life. Not more than 1 week here, and I am in a friends with benefits relationship with someone I actually like and respect. I'm leaving in 4-5 months. No relationships. Then, at the bar/dinner last night (I was there alone reading), a girl picked me up in front of her parents and I joined them. She is going overseas for 2 weeks, then will be back for 1 month, then overseas for 2 years. She pretty much asked if I'd be willing to be FWB right in front of her parents. If good things come in 3's, what else could happen? I mean, it's only been a week for chrissake. Why do I post this in coping? Well, I became severely depressed after the breakup because my ex asked to be FWB less than two weeks after the breakup. I responded harshly -- THERE IS NO WAY you can respond politely and rationally to that so soon after being heartbroken -- that takes coping skills I have not yet learned. I felt used and abused. I wasn't critical of her, just a general crass tone, and her response was "I was just joking." That really set me off and sent me into a tailspin emotionally, feeling I was used and her love and our relationship where just a joke, a lie. Well, the joke is on her I guess. In fact, the first girl, I'm pretty much in a FWB situation BECAUSE she learned about my ex asking to be FWB. That is KARMA! And it's a lot jucier than that. Ok, so I'm not just rushing into false intimacy here. I've avoided other girls so I'm not just filling a void. I won't sleep with someone unless I feel an incredible physical attraction, or a strong attraction and high interest as a person. Generally, women who I feel the second for are the type of person I want a relationship with, but that is not going to happen. I'm not sure if I'll sleep with more than one person at a time. I'm not too comfortable with it. But I'll deal with that when the time comes. I'm in a weird limbo right now -- I don't want a relationship -- I am not ready. I don't want to have sex for the sake of having sex. I want it when I know it will be good, because good sex = good foreplay and AFTERPLAY. I do want to date a lot, because I finally have the $$ and I don't know anyone in town. The ego boost is making me forget about my ex in a hurry. I was still hung up on her a couple days ago. But with hot girls to look forward to...she is fading fast. Since I too am leaving town I am making it clear that I have NO expectations for a relationship with any one. In fact, I intend to avoid spending too much time with any one woman to make sure I am not rebounding. But damn, if I've already got two FWB, one of them who I picked up in front of her parents and practically got their blessing...what else does the summer hold for me? I'm waiting for the 3rd thing.
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