Andy L Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Anyone here agree that sex is probability the strongest reason to keep on with OM? I do think and believe that many women here really want to stop the affair and work their marriage, but....... they CAN'T! Why? Ok, there are many guilty feelings to live that double life so they try many times to stop, to stop and TO STOP! But it's really hard as it started...
Enema Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 I think for a Man sex is one of the main reasons they keep going with the OW. But, I do not think sex is the reason a Woman keeps going with her OM. ie. Men stray for physical reasons, Women stray for emotional.
ratingsguy Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Speaking from my experience with a MW, I completely agree.
bridget_jones Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Anyone here agree that sex is probability the strongest reason to keep on with OM? I do think and believe that many women here really want to stop the affair and work their marriage, but....... they CAN'T! Why? Ok, there are many guilty feelings to live that double life so they try many times to stop, to stop and TO STOP! But it's really hard as it started... You can unless you are an idiot, it's very possible to not take off your clothes and spread your legs. It doesn't take a rocket scientist. Why do you think this is so hilarious?
Author Andy L Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 You can unless you are an idiot, it's very possible to not take off your clothes and spread your legs. It doesn't take a rocket scientist. Why do you think this is so hilarious? Do I "think this is so hilarious"? Why??? Just pay more attention that I put (CRYING, OK?) and NOT Clear now?
Author Andy L Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 Of course I'm not saying that all women but I think VERY SIMPLE to tell: Sex is a men's reason and love is a women's reason. Everybody knows that men really can love someone & women really can just want sex - (I'll put a link from one girl telling this after..) I respect all women and their husbands and I do believe that affair is not the right choice for all problems on her life, family and the very hard pain in the hubby heart!
Author Andy L Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 Ok, as I said before about MANY (NOT ALL) women just can't leave the OM because the sex... I put now one example from another forum-site on infidelity wrote by one girl: ***"it's hard to stop"*** "Well i'm new to this site as well. I'm just seeking a lil advise and some suggestions from WOMEN who have been where I am. Now i'm 27 and married for 4 years but we have been together for 8 1/2 years. So i'm cheating with a man. Now my problem is that i do luv my husband but my other man just knows exactly how to satisfy me to the fullest. Some times i want to stop but the sex is so good that i always say one more time. I have cut things down from seeing him 4 times a week to only 1 sometimes twice a week. Can someone let me know what they did in this situation?" NTI
Author Andy L Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 now another example of NO EMOTIONAL REASON from women: "Yes, I loved the sex with the other man. My husband was never able to turn me on like he could. Plus, I felt safe in the fact that since I am married the relationship with the OM would never turn into anything more than sex. But like they say, what goes around comes around. This OM turned out to be a real jerk! (look who's talking )" NTI or click on the link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t116690/
bridget_jones Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Do I "think this is so hilarious"? Why??? Just pay more attention that I put (CRYING, OK?) and NOT Clear now? That is a laughing so hard he's crying one. Anyway, you seem awfully smug. This 'issue' isn't just reserved for women, I don't understand that. Men also get involved as OMs and it is just as hard for them, it is not a sex-specific thing.
Author Andy L Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 That is a laughing so hard he's crying one. Anyway, you seem awfully smug. This 'issue' isn't just reserved for women, I don't understand that. Men also get involved as OMs and it is just as hard for them, it is not a sex-specific thing. sorry bridget_jones i didn't have no itention on this.
Author Andy L Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 That is a laughing so hard he's crying one. Anyway, you seem awfully smug. This 'issue' isn't just reserved for women, I don't understand that. Men also get involved as OMs and it is just as hard for them, it is not a sex-specific thing. Dear, of course men are the worst on this matter of infidelity! But i' would want to understand the women's matter.
Author Andy L Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 Speaking from my experience with a MW, I completely agree. please ratingsguy could you add any example from yours?
Guest Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 what about the om and the feelings him and mw have my situation is the mw wasnt happy with mm i was the emotionall attachment in between till they decide to talk about there problems now ive served my purpose and mw wants to give him second chance i feel used, anyone else been in that situation? now im angry and decideding on whether to tell mm about me and mw. views plz? its a case of she hurt me i hurt her i realise that but its doing it?
Jinxx Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Men stray for physical reasons, Women stray for emotional. Not necessarily true. At first I strayed purely for physical reasons. After nearly a year it became both. I also it think men can become just as emotionally involved as women.
scaredinlove Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Dear, of course men are the worst on this matter of infidelity! But i' would want to understand the women's matter. Se was/is a powerfull attractiong to the OM.I am going to divorce now. The reason I cheatted was opportunity, looking for love and affection and yes better sex. I met many man during the 14yrs I've been married that interested me, but I just brushed them off. My M/m O/M come after me for a long time and we started as a emotional affair and after almost 1 1/2 yr went physical and It was amazing.I felt guilt and wanted to end,but the affection,attention and sex kept there.In the end his wife found out and I went to my H,now exH and confessed. I am still involved w/ M/M we are in a on off again relationship. And althought I am single and free I am still holding on for the same previous reasons:Deep Affection, Attention and great sex!
puddleofmud Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 A need for help and to understand one's self is never "hilarious" nor does it make them an "idiot"-- perhaps for this person it's quite "real" so no need to belittle them, which I feel is counter-productive. It would seem that the originator of this thread may be at the least trying to understand the nature of an attraction they feel powerless about. We've all been there: feeling powerless over an attraction that affects one's life in a negative manner. It should be validated that this does happen and removing oneself is just not that easy! And it should be commended when one seeks to understand their situation via opinions/ advice in order to receive HELP; not more emotional damage/ moral condemnation. To address the poster I would say that one is being honest w/ themselves as that one is severely sexually attracted and doesn't know what to do about it. Geez, isn't this an age old scenario? My question would be WHY does one feel so powerless and what would make one feel more secure about doing what they feel necessary in order to relieve themself of this tiresome burden? There must be some unique thoughts and feelings attached other than sex but more about how sex FEELS with said partner and how this makes one feel about themselves. THAT is the nature of addiction: addiction is not about rational thinking. As well "nagging" about such just tends to sent the addict in to the same tail spin of what they know as comfort or "the high" as opposed to what they seek to know....which is about learning about HOW to dis-connect. You can unless you are an idiot, it's very possible to not take off your clothes and spread your legs. It doesn't take a rocket scientist. Why do you think this is so hilarious?
whichwayisup Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 BJ relax eh...The guy thought the face was a crying face. Afew people have made that mistake before.
Author Andy L Posted April 11, 2007 Author Posted April 11, 2007 what about the om and the feelings him and mw have my situation is the mw wasnt happy with mm i was the emotionall attachment in between till they decide to talk about there problems now ive served my purpose and mw wants to give him second chance i feel used, anyone else been in that situation? now im angry and decideding on whether to tell mm about me and mw. views plz? its a case of she hurt me i hurt her i realise that but its doing it? But was she sex addict with you? It doesn't seem like that..
luv2men Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 I have started an affair with an ex-boyfriend. We were young when we were together (14 thru 16) the first time. We met again when he returned from the military and I was home from college. We had a fight and by the time he came to apologize, I was with my first H. The first H and I divorced and the OM and I hooked up briefly. I then met my current H and am in love with him. We have a 4yo together. I recently saw the OM again and the sparks flew. I couldn't stop fantasizing about him. We started talking (read connecting) and finally met one weekend. The sex was absolutely amazing. We connected physically and emotionally. It was really hard leaving him. Now I am stuck. I feel like the OM is my true soul mate, but to be with him I would have to give up my comfortable life. I love my H and he earns a good living and the OM is a small business owner who works long hours. My heart says to go, but my children need the comfort my H's salary provides. I spend the days feeling torn. I can't stop thinking of the mind blowing sex that my H can't provide. So I do think women can be addicted to sex. There is more there for me with the OM than sex. We have a deep connection.
mopar crazy Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 While I don't agree w/ your A I can see your point. Sometimes sex can be so good but yet be so wrong and it's hard to let it go. It's even harder to let go when you aren't getting your sexually needs met by your current spouse/SO. However, having an A even if it's just for sex b/c your not getting satisfied at home is not right. Have you tried MC w/ your H? If that has already been mentioned sorry, I didn't read through the whole thread. This isn't fair to your H and you need to think how he would feel. You also need to think how you would feel if he was having sex w/ another woman.
stillafool Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 I get so tired of hearing men cheat for sex and women cheat for emotional reasons. Bullsh*t--women cheat for sex also. Good sex for a woman is priceless. If the sex is good for a woman she will put up with damn near anything and it's sad.
oyster Posted April 19, 2007 Posted April 19, 2007 I get so tired of hearing men cheat for sex and women cheat for emotional reasons. Bullsh*t--women cheat for sex also. Good sex for a woman is priceless. If the sex is good for a woman she will put up with damn near anything and it's sad. i second this opinion. got a co-worker, she can't get rid of her boyfriend because she is in cloud 9 in the bed. she pays for all outing expenses, vacations, etc. she is not rich but she hates paying for his drinks, etc. but the sex is good to the point she will "put up with damn near anything "
luv2men Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 While I don't agree w/ your A I can see your point. Sometimes sex can be so good but yet be so wrong and it's hard to let it go. It's even harder to let go when you aren't getting your sexually needs met by your current spouse/SO. However, having an A even if it's just for sex b/c your not getting satisfied at home is not right. Have you tried MC w/ your H? If that has already been mentioned sorry, I didn't read through the whole thread. This isn't fair to your H and you need to think how he would feel. You also need to think how you would feel if he was having sex w/ another woman. I agree that the affair is not right. I talked to my H and we are trying to put things on the right track. I have not admitted to my affair, nor have I met up with the OM again.
Sup Posted April 20, 2007 Posted April 20, 2007 I agree that the affair is not right. I talked to my H and we are trying to put things on the right track. I have not admitted to my affair, nor have I met up with the OM again. Well, you need to, and let your husband make his own choice, it's not fair to make his choice for him, let him go.
messit Posted May 24, 2007 Posted May 24, 2007 what about the om and the feelings him and mw have my situation is the mw wasnt happy with mm i was the emotionall attachment in between till they decide to talk about there problems now ive served my purpose and mw wants to give him second chance i feel used, anyone else been in that situation? now im angry and decideding on whether to tell mm about me and mw. views plz? its a case of she hurt me i hurt her i realise that but its doing it? Telling the MP's SO to get revenge? You will certian burn all bridges if you do that. And open yourself to the wrath of both of them and potentially others they know. Thank you for acknowleging that the emotional attachment can count for men. The gender overgeneralizations come on thick around here sometimes. Have not been in your exact situation, but I am an emotionally attached OM who would [will] feel used if [when] she broke [brakes] it off.
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