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Posted

Heh...I'm supposed to be working. When I'm sitting at my computer desk in my office though is when I find myself missing him most. He used to send me IMs throughout the day to break up our monotony. I do NOT really miss him right now, honestly. However, I do want him to be miserable. I hate that I feel like that, because I really do want to take the high road. I want his ex-girlfriend to continue being the bi@tch she was previously, just so I could say I told you so. Blah!!! I absolutely will not contact him though. Thank God my mind is made up on that one. But I still wish he'd realize what an idiot he is. =)

Posted
However, I do want him to be miserable.

 

may I turn the light on for a brief minute?

 

In some ways... he is miserable. He is goin' through some of the same crap with her, as you are with him. ACCEPT, he has you to fall back on for an ego boost. You don't have anyone, cept' for us. :p

 

Believe me, she's tearin' him up with all her back and forthness... so then he just turns to you for his crutch. You think your mind is twisted??? Imagine his???

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Posted
Believe me, she's tearin' him up with all her back and forthness... so then he just turns to you for his crutch. You think your mind is twisted??? Imagine his???

 

Thank you, and I'm not yelling at you specifically, just in general, but IT IS JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH. lol I want him to be writhing on the floor in agony without me. :cool:

 

Seriously, I think I need a shrink, because if there are so many people doing to us what this guy did, then I must be the odd one. Do you ever feel that way? That since you are capable of an honest, loving, mature relationship, and it appears most everyone else is NOT capable of that, that we are the weirdos?

Posted

hmmmmmmmm... the woman who drove me to LS therapy.... left her family/home at 16... parents were divorced, mother got settled out of the country, father remained in the states but dated around ALOT... she got married at 18 because her father asked her to, saw her husband twice a year for 3 years or so (military husband)... got divorced. Met another guy, oops, got pregnant out of wedlock NOT in love with the father of the child. Met me... grew on me.... but I was already in an off and on relationship... so we remained close friends... she wanted more (she claimed) I couldn't offer it at the time so she split and for the first guy she met while talking to me. Had 2 meetings with him and flew herself and her son across the country to live with him. Kept in contact with me the entire time, complaining about him. Married him because her father asked her to. Continued to write me emails complaining about him. Got seperated, got back together, seperated, back together 4-5 times in and out of the house dragging her son along for the ride.... continuing to cry on my shoulders about how WE should've gotten together. Ended up doing me very very wrong during one of her separations. She finally got divorced last year... we no longer talk. I'm the bad guy. PS... she and I met in 97'...

 

So, to answer your question.... do I ever feel that way??? I use to, but no longer do. I looked at her, her life of unstable relationships filled with drama and problems and realized SHE doesn't know what a normal relationship is. And to her, a normal "Loving" relationship based on communication, trust, and honesty .... seems abnormal to her... therefore she is NOT attracted to it. She will jump from unstable guy to unstable guy and most likely grow old, alone and unhappy.

 

People who DON'T know what a good, healthy relationship is.... will hardly ever accept one unless they seek help. 99% won't admit to needing help.

Posted

Oh.... "Am I a weirdo?" as you put it?

 

Yes... for believing someones words for almost a decade. Dont' get me wrong... I've dated throughout the years, been serious, been happy, been unhappy... so it's not like I'm not trying... ;) but it just seems everytime I move on and get a little too distant from this one particular woman.... BOOM! she pops up again.... and I'm too nice to say "Get lost".

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Posted

See, that's what makes me the most angry in my situation. I know he will pop up again. When I e-mailed him before, I told him we can't talk until either A) he gets over her and is not speaking to her anymore or B) I'm no longer in love with him and comfortable being "just a friend."

 

I really doubt either of these things will ever happen. I don't think I will ever be comfortable talking with him if he's dating someone else, not after the extent of feelings I've had for him.

 

And, I have told him this a dozen times, even if he and the ex don't work out and he learns they are "not meant to be," I don't think she will ever leave him alone so that he can move on with someone else. She's just that type of girl.

 

So it's conceivable we might never speak again, which I guess I'll be fine with after awhile. I'm just annoyed with the idea that he might try and contact me later on down the road, more than likely when I'm happy with another guy, and he'll F everything up for me.

 

Oh.... "Am I a weirdo?" as you put it?

 

Yes... for believing someones words for almost a decade. Dont' get me wrong... I've dated throughout the years, been serious, been happy, been unhappy... so it's not like I'm not trying... ;) but it just seems everytime I move on and get a little too distant from this one particular woman.... BOOM! she pops up again.... and I'm too nice to say "Get lost".

Posted
I know he will pop up again. I don't think I will ever be comfortable talking with him if he's dating someone else. I don't think she will ever leave him alone so that he can move on with someone else. She's just that type of girl. he might try and contact me later on down the road. and he'll F everything up for me.

 

True, true, true, true.... and fact. ;)

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Posted

I'm struggling again today. Not so much that I feel I might contact him or anything, but I just want him to be miserable. I don't want him to forget about me, and I want him to realize what an idiot he is. Is that bad?

 

I know I'm too good for him and he doesn't deserve me now. I honestly do believe that. But I just want him to know it. :cool:

 

It's like, I feel like if I'm not in his face all the time, that he will forget about me. Like with me having blocked him on AIM and stopped calling him and stuff, he will just forget about me that much easier and move on with that trailer trash ex of his. (Am I allowed to call her trailer trash on LS?? lol)

 

I sort of wish he and I had more mutual friends, so they could all tell him how wonderful I'm doing and make him feel like a moron. Yes, I am vindictive, now that I'm done being so depressed and pathetic.

Posted
Is that bad?

Well, yes and no. It's bad because you SHOULDN'T be sweatin' him. For God's sake YOU'RE the woman! Uuuuuusually the men sweat the women.:p And from my experiences, the women have always had the mind control over the men. Like his ex has over him. Stop sweatin' him. :o How did Toby Keith say it... "He ain't worth missing" :p

 

It's like, I feel like if I'm not in his face all the time, that he will forget about me. Like with me having blocked him on AIM and stopped calling him and stuff, he will just forget about me that much easier and move on with that trailer trash ex of his.

 

 

One would think this is how it works... some say "Outta sight, outta mind" But I have to disagree... I think it's more like... "Outta sight, outta mind for now.... later on, IN mind stronger then ever..."

 

I sort of wish he and I had more mutual friends, so they could all tell him how wonderful I'm doing and make him feel like a moron. Yes, I am vindictive, now that I'm done being so depressed and pathetic.

 

This is EXACTLY the way you DON'T want it. Otherwise, the opposite would happen.... he would still know you're around... and easy to contact... the mind games would be 10X over. Better to disappear off the face of the earth, because it will drive him nuts not knowing whats going on, who you're dating, what you're doing.

 

You need to just chill a bit... I know it's hard, but it's the BEST thing for you. Who cares about him and what he thinks.... cause he sure as hell doesn't care how he was treating you. YOU need to realize that. You wanna do what's right.... be the better person... in your mind, wish him well... wish him happiness. And don't forget to wish yourself happiness.

 

Be good.

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