what do i do?

[pioneer]

Well, it was about a year ago now that I met her, id been split with my previous ex for about 18 months and she’d moved on with someone else and brought a house and everything. I met her through a mate, but over the internet, we met soon after (2 days). She seemed like a fun girl and me and my friend who came to meet her with me stayed with her and her friend for most of the day.

 

After this, she text me very regularly asking me to meet her, to just “chill” which basically meant, driving round with her, which I did on a regular basis for the next 8 months, along this time she got a job in a bar, and she sort of expected me to take her and pick her up early hours in the morning, which I did, for free and no real appreciation off her.

 

This went on to giving her lifts almost everywhere, picking her up from strangers houses after shed been out clubbing, picking her up from work, taking her everywhere she wanted to go really. She knew I liked her, and she knew she had this power over me to get me to do what she wanted. During the time she even had boyfriends, but would never admit it to me, shed just see me like, a couple of times a week. These relationships she had, never lasted very long.

 

I knew I needed to stop seeing her, and everyone said she was using me, but id kind of fallen in love with her, she’s a very pretty, outgoing fun to be with girl, even though she’s only 18 and im 27. Throughout all this time, she never showed any interest in getting with me, and was always hanging round with other lads as well, which started to annoy me, and she new it.

 

Then at around new year time, in fact new years eve, for some reason, I decided to text the old ex, to my surprise she text back, and the texts went on for a few days, then we started chatting on msn and she asked me to meet her. Anyway to cut a long story short, later that night she rang me saying she’d left her boyfriend who she was supposed to be marrying later this year, due to the fact she had met back up with me, so we met again later that night, we kissed and spent the night in my car, although nothing sexual happened.

 

Anyway, the next day, I text the other girl and told her what had happened and I wanted to someone to talk to about it. All of a sudden she wasn’t happy, and over the next few days started telling me her feelings had changed and she loved me, later that week I ended up sleeping with her, and started going out with her, which was what id wanted for months, obviously, I didn’t tell my old ex about this, I just sort of went quiet and told her this other girl was just a friend.

 

The next couple of weeks were difficult and this girl then started saying she wanted a baby with me and was really full on, or so I thought. Then I caught her out lying to me, arranging to meet people off the internet who she claimed to be just friends with, she constantly text other lads and just turned up at my house when she pleased. We eventually split up (her idea) and she made loads of different excuses for this, from, she never really loved me, to I don’t trust her enough etc.. Now its come to the point where she wont fully let me go, she keeps me hanging on saying she’s not sure what to do.

 

Just lately though she will spend entire days ignoring my texts and calls or she’ll say she’s somewhere and if I check up, she isn’t. Its really making me feel like crap, because I really do love her and don’t know what to do, iv tried the no contact but I aren’t very good at it, and she eventually always seems to call me, but it never really goes anywhere now. What should I do???

[shockandawed]

I think you know the answer to this. It is obvious this girl is nowhere ready for a relationship with you. It is apparent she liked having you around as maybe a friend or something to have on the line, who knows? But coming on to you and changing her tune as soon as she finds out about you and your ex talking tells it all.

 

She is 18 and you are 27? Completely different stages of life here. You may be attracted to her, but there can't be any long term feelings for her. Doesn't sound like she ever gave you much of a relationship.

 

Let her be, she has a lot of growing up to do still. What happened with your ex???

[pioneer]

Yes, i guess your right . Well my ex now actually hates me, because of this girl, i admited id been sleeping with her and stuff, but told her she is now gone, but she cant seem to het it out of her head what iv been doing. Shame really because if all this hadnt have happeed, i think i would have got back with her, but its all changed my feeling towards her now aswell. I made a mistake letting my feelings for the younger one get the better of me i guess, knowing full well it couldnt last, i was even warned by her ex boyfriend what she was like, he was also late 20's and had been seeing her since she was 16.

[lorr]

Go out with someone your own age, she's too young and immature to handle a relationship and she's proven that to you. It seems that you have some growing up to do yourself. What was the point of texting your other ex when you were fully aware that she had moved on with her life?

 

The best thing you can do is let them go, focus on yourself and move on.

[pioneer]

i text my other ex just to be friendly, i missed her and i genuinely wanted to wish her well. I wanted to stay in contact with her as id spent almost a quarter of my life with her, whats wrong with that?