StockUP Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 my "ex" girlfriend and I have dated for the past 5 months. UNtil these past 3-4 weeks, she somehow went from lets move in together and actively looking at places to, not moving in, needing space, now we are "single" and in an open relationship. She says she still loves me, and gets upset at me when I don't do some things sometimes. I love this girl to death. I have dated a lot of people, and trust me, this girl was fantastic. I am wondering if I am just being stupid? We have had a couple really amazing nights, and or days sporadically lately. I want her so bad, and its hurting me so much to see her be so non chalant, and shove comments in my face about how I am not her boyfriend. It hurts me because she knows how I feel. She even said she would consider going on a date with someone else, and after I agreed to work on this in an open relationship with her, she mentioned someone had asked her out on a date, but had decided she didn't want to go. Those really great few nights she tells me she is sorry, and that she has commitment issues, and that she really does love me, and she just hugs me, and brings back that relationship we had. What is going on with her? Why is she doing this? Why is she just hell bent on her own thing, but at the same time still keeping me there? She says she see's us down the road, and that she just needs to do her thing and figure some stuff out. Am I just setting myself up for more hurt? Should I stick it out in hopes she does figure her **** out? Should I just be who I am and do the things I would do normally, and if she doesn't like it just go? I mean, I have never cared for anyone like this girl. I have not been able to sleep right, or even eat hardly anything the past 4-5 days. The pain is just too much. I am not going to be suicidal, and not gonna drink my sorrows away, but being where I am at now, and how much I care for her, and how bad it hurts, I can understand why people do those kinds of crazy things. I want nothing but to take the pain away, but the only drug is that type of night where she hugs me, and tells me she is sorry for being so confused and that she loves me. I feel like such an idiot, but that I have to stick in there as who I AM! in hopes that she will figure things out. But I am afraid that something drastic like her or I seeing someone, or her just ending it, or something will be that point, and our relationship will be gone forever. How do you have everything, and know everything about a person, only to have it change so quickly? I feel hopelessly lost, and the only person who can help and find me, isn't caring to look. Any thoughts on my situation? I have such good friends, and I am tired of heaving all my baggage onto them. They are te best but nothing is helping the pain.
FeltonRoad Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 I had something very similar happen, i went from going to move in with her eventually to "lets work on our friendship and we'll get together later" Part of it was her cheating with another guy originally so its not the same, but I only lasted one week with the "lets work on our friendship" thing. I just had this overwhelming feeling we were never going to get back together and that she just did it so she could not feel guilty about being with the guy she cheated on me with. I had a really hard time at first when i told her i didn't want to be in a relationship with her and even tried to tell her I didn't want to be friends. But I got desperate and tried to save the friendship. It took like a month, and now something in my head just changed. Its so weird, like a light switch I am suddenly like... I dont care anymore. I'm done. It seems like maybe your girlfriend is trying not to hurt your feelings and wants to see other people. And maybe she is keeping you around in case the other dates dont work out. Maybe she feels like you'll always be there for her even when she's out trying to date other people. I dont have much relationship experience, but i guess those are my thoughts.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Why is she just hell bent on her own thing, but at the same time still keeping me there? She's keeping you around as a backup plan in case no one better comes along.
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