obrian Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 This will take a bit of an explanation first, so please bear with me: Around January of last year, a girl that I had been good friends with for two years and I started to hook up. It started off very innocently, with no feelings involved whatsoever. We were very honest with each other about the fact that neither of us had feelings. After about three months of doing this, the girl and I were spending much more time together and I realized that I was starting to like her. After pondering what to do for a bit, I realized that I had to tell this girl how i felt or risk losing her. So with less then a week before the school year ended, I told her how i felt. Luckily for me, she felt the same way. After a few long talks we both decided that it didnt make much sense to start a relationship up and then have to be far away for four months <we arent from anywhere close to one another, roughly a ten hour drive>, so we decided that we would be single for the summer. At the begining of the summer, we saw each other about a week after school ended as we were both visiting a similar school, but for the first bit there wasnt much contact. We would talk on-line, but would keep our phone conversations to only about once a week, because it would be too hard to talk everyday. However, as the first month wore on, we began talking more and more, until we slowly began talking everyday. Around this time, a guy that she has been friends with forever started hanging around her house quite a bit. I would ask her about this guy <due to the fact that, he had prev. told her that he was in love with her>, but she would appease me of any worries that I would have. Due to the fact that this was the only guy that she was hanging out with, and because she would appease me of any worries, i stopped fooling around with girls all together, out of respect for her. I felt that we were kind of upping the ante in our relationship by talking everyday, and I didnt want to disrespect her by slutting it up, where i was at. A month into summer, we decided to meet halfway because we couldnt stand being a part. we had a great couple of days together and went our seperate ways. While there, I had told her that I had hooked up with a couple of girls,and she told me she hadnt hooked up with anyone. hearing that, i was more determined then ever to not hook up with girls. In doing this, i had the most miserable summer of my life. I was graduating a year late, so while most of my firends were joining the workforce and moving on with their lives, i was stuck in a miserable summer job, while at the same time avoiding hanging out with any of my girl-friends because i didnt want anything bad to happen ie hook up with any of them. As the summer went on we had a few more visits with one another. each one us liking the other one more and more, until finally in late july we decided to date. we decided to make it offical over the phone, and it wasnt for another couple of weeks that we saw each other. When we did see each other, we spent an amazing 4 days, where literally i fell in love with the girl. i hate relationships, but for her i felt like it was worth it. At the end of our visit, we got into a pretty big fight due to the fact that she had been dishonest aboutsomething relatively trivial. we were able to move past it and end the visit on a good note. that night when she arrived home, she had a confession to give to me. She told me that she had slept with the guy that had been her friend, the one that she had appeased me about over and over again. We got into some pretty big fights about this, her saying that it was fine overall because she had been single, and it wasnt cheating, and that i hadnt given her any confidence in the fact taht we were going to be together <very true, i was def. afraid to show her how i truely feeling about her, for the sole reason that i didnt want to hurt her in case i flaked out at the beg. of the year.> As we fought it also came out that she had slept with another guy the week after seeing me in the summer. she never saw that guy again, it was a one night stand. this was all nine months ago. im still not over it. a lot of me has moved on ie. im not really angry with her anymore. but i dont look at her the same at all. here are my issues: 1. i never viewed her as a slut, I even changed my behavior for the summer to raise it to the standards i thought she kept herelf to. after her having these two one night stands, while at the same time dealing with me, makes me feel so betrayed. i am having a hard time looking at her the same way. 2. i hate the second guy she slept with. she knew this when she slept with him, although she says it didnt cross her mind. 3. i was having one of the worst summers of my life, and thought i was building something special, and now that seems tainted. Can someone please give me some constructive advice. i feel liek this is actually beg. to ruin my feelings for a girl that i truely truely love and it sucks
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