Aloros Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I'm very close with my family, especially my siblings. We speak frequently and sometimes take vacations together. My family never thought my ex was good enough for me, but they accepted him. My current bf has two children from two previous relationships. He has custody of neither. His son he sees sometimes on weekends, his daughter lives in another state, so he corresponds with her. He has a master's degree and makes a very good living. My family is NOT happy with the fact that he has two children. They, at best, tolerate him. I spoke with my brother yesterday, and he mentioned a guy I'd talked to at his most recent party. He asked me what I thought of him and if that was the kind of guy I'd date if I were single. Frankly, I was offended. Not to mention I was with my bf at the time, who heard the entire exchange. I'm very happy in my relationship and we both feel incredibly lucky to have the other. He's my partner, my confidant. He brings out the best in me. I get along better with him than anyone I know, and he treats me like I put the moon in the sky. He has been nothing but kind and courteous to my family. I'm so frustrated that they don't want to even be around him, and, in my brother's case, want to set me up with someone else! I wish they'd all just get their heads out of their asses and see how good he's been for me. I'm so much less stressed, AND I'm getting more work done, accomplishing my goals, and I'm happy. They don't think he's good-looking enough, not successful enough, not smart enough...it's just never enough. If they had their way, I'd be dating some smooth-talking model/CEO. NOT what I'm looking for. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? I'm hurt that my family won't be a little more open-minded.
coco_milkshake Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 Hey Aloros, everyone has been there one time or the other. The main thing is that you are happy with your bf. I agree that your family's opinion means a lot to you cos they are the people who count in your life, but there comes a time when you need to put yourself first. If they cant see that you are happy then that is their problem isnt it? I think that was bang out of order what your brother did and even worse, that your bf was there during that conversation. You have to realise that you cant please everyone. Your bf sounds like a keeper, if your family cant see that, like I said before, thats their problem. I hope things turn out ok for you both. Good luck.
Curmudgeon Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 My wife's mother disliked me from the very start and my wife's two adult daughters resented me from day-one. My oldest daughter didn't care for my wife at all and both she and my wife's oldest daughter did their level best to break us apart. I have no other family but my children. Everyone else died about 20 or more years ago. Fast forward to today. My wife's mother still dislikes me but my wife dislikes her so she's not a part of our lives. The dislike for me was simply because my wife, who had been single for 18 years, wanted to spend time with me rather than devote it to her mother, which she wouldn't have done regardless of our relationship. My daughter has gotten over her upset that I remarried at all and she and my wife get along. They'll never be good friends but my daughter appreciates what a wonderful grandmother she is to her children. Her own mother, my ex, has no relationship with them or with my daughter. My wife's daughters have come around as well. Their father, who died shortly after my wife and I married, was useless and never there for them, never supported them. They both seek me out for "dad" type advice and the oldest truly appreciates what a good and attentive grandfather I am to her children. I know it hurts but that should not define your relationship with your BF. Families can be toxic and sometimes it's best to avoid them under certain circumstances. Meanwhile, follow your heart. That's something they can't control or dictate.
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