coco_milkshake Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 Hi everyone, This Thursday coming, 2 days after my birthday will mark one year since my ex split up with me (yeah that was the greatest 21st birthday present ) and I am feeling good about it. I have realised that I am better off without him and I know I can do a lot better than him (not meaning to sound big headed). He broke my heart, left me completely destroyed and left me to bear the brunt of taunts and abuse from my family. He then contacted me 14 times within the space of 6 months. The last direct contact I had with him was in October when he talked to me on msn (I had him deleted but forgot to block him). I was very civil to him despite knowing he had lied to me countless times (as far as saying to me that he didnt do his final exams cos he was so upset yet he ends up at university - liar!). I had a chance here to let him know exactly what I thought of him but then I felt that would make me no better than him cos he badmouthed me to so many people without thinking about how I would feel. He asked me how life is and I lied and said it was fine when it wasnt. I didnt want him to know I was cut up about the split and that I knew his lies. He even asked how my family were treating me and again I lied and said they were fine. He mocked me to other people about how my family were treating me (he saw this as an ego boost that it was all about him). I informed him that I am in my 4th year at university and he congratulated me. I, still being civil, asked how uni life is for him and if he felt homesick. He said it was good but he didnt feel homesick cos his parents werent the same with him after I split up (implying it was my fault) and swallowing my pride, I apologised. I shouldnt have but I felt like I would be the better person by doing this. He then apologised to me for "everything" and said he was still hurting - I told him that I am over the grief and have gone beyond caring. I dont think that was the response he was expecting cos he took a while to talk to me again. He then said that he wanted to talk to me again despite everything that happened, I cant remember what I said to that but he asked if it was safe to do that. I responded honestly and said my family wouldnt be happy and he then said "dont hate me but Im off" to which I said fine and logged off. A part of me still regrets not confronting him about those things he did to me but I feel glad that I didnt. By being civil, I have showed him what he has lost. I then noticed that he had blocked me on msn for which I was very happy about. I made sure I blocked him after the conversation this time and deleted his hotmail address. This convo happened 2 days before I left for India and I was still a bit messed up and cos of the grief my family still gave me, I wanted to commit suicide (there were no pills in the house and I had decided to do it by overdose). After coming back from India I was unblocked again on his msn I feel happy now about this. I am over him, I am ready to move on and meet someone who wil give me the same love and respect that I will give him. Truth is I was too mature for him and he felt intimidated. We both knew I could do better and that I was too good for him but I was in love, that didnt matter. I am glad that he knows what he has lost. I feel inner peace and have finally laid my issues regarding my ex to rest.
ruby_gloom Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 This is a very, very good post, coco. It makes me really glad to hear this! You are coming along quite well, and I am sure you will continue to do so until everything is as best as it can be for you. Again, I'm glad to hear you saying such things. Keep it up!
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