loveknot Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I was wondering if a husband can stay at home and take care of the household and kids while the wife is at work feeding the family? Do you think that somehow this undermines the dignity of men?
Kwo-ne'-she Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 A friend of mine is a stay at home dad, and has been the last 13 yrs. His wife is in the Army. They made the choice together, and it was best for them. I see no problem with it. The kids have had a parent home with them since birth, the dad sincerely enjoys being Mr Mom, and the mother can pursue her career.
Curmudgeon Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I think it takes a special type of man who is hard-wired to be the nurturer. I see no indignity, whatsoever, in being that type of person. I couldn't do it but that's an individual thing.
2sunny Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 My cousin did this. His wife had a high power job with a fortune 500 company . They had four kids. He stayed home - she had to travel all the time. He raised the most amazing kids! Now that they are grown he works full time as well. It seemed to work well for them.
Seen_It_All Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I'm with Jane. Not in MY house, either. I have a real hard time respecting a man who'll let a woman support him. Yuck.
Craig Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I have a real hard time respecting a man who'll let a woman support him. So what you are saying is that the work of being a stay at home mom isn't really work at all.
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I do believe that men have the ability to do this, just not the desire or the patience. I think it's personality-driven. If a guy wants to do this, go for it. I have much respect for a guy who defines himself and doesn't care about the social stigma attached to the title of house-husband.
Gunny376 Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I'm with Jane. Not in MY house, either. I have a real hard time respecting a man who'll let a woman support him. Yuck. Ahhhh! The old feminist "double-standard" ~ "double speak" On the one hand they rally and yell the war cry that a woman can be and do anything a man can, curse to damnation gender stereotyping, and traditional gender roles, but yet insist that their men become some their morphed version of the idea man, masculine but,.............................? No wonder 51% of American women are single! Men are wising up to women. (You can bet TBF doesn't have that problem, intellegence is very attractive in a woman!) When it comes to men ~ women are their own worse enemies. To the OP, its up to the individuals and what works best for them and the children.
Trialbyfire Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 You can bet TBF doesn't have that problem, intellegence is very attractive in a woman! To the OP, its up to the individuals and what works best for them and the children. Awwww Gunny, that's a nice thing to say. Btw, I wasn't criticizing men who won't. Not every man wants to do it and neither does every woman. Exactly.
SydneyHeart Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 Being a stay at home Mum myself, I have nothing but the utmost admiration and respect for anyone - male or female who is doing it! Now, not trying to say it's THE way to go, just saying male or female, it's a really hard job, and you get nothing but my respect.
Jane22067 Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 but more important it puts too much on his wife I could never live with a man that was not the primary breadwinner, by design or intention If my husband became disabled or something, that would be different
silktricks Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 Yes, a man can be a stay-at-home dad. It works very well for some couples. Unfortunately, though, society (as can be seen on this thread) tends to deride men who do so.
Topper Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 but more important it puts too much on his wife I could never live with a man that was not the primary breadwinner, by design or intention If my husband became disabled or something, that would be different How does that kind of arrangment put to much on the wife?
Jane22067 Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 a woman should not support a man--its not appropriate unless absolutely necessary. I am just a traditionalist I like being supported by my husband I was very clear about what I wanted. Either I would have a career or be married but not both. I am glad my husband does not want me to work. I don't think I would want to be married to him otherwise,
Totoro Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 There is a very, very funny Colbert Report segment (satirical of course) on Stay At Home Dads ("SAHDs")... You can probably find it on the website...
Topper Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 You still did not anwcer the question. Why is it OK for a man to support a woman and not the other way around? in apx 30% of 2 income households the woman now out earns her husband. The number is growing.
Jane22067 Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 no you flashed the number--paste it in I don't have to explain why it is ok--it is just what I expect in my life I am happy to take care of a family and my husband or work but not both
Woggle Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 A man can but his wife will lose respect for him. I would never want a woman that stays home as well. I want a woman that wants me and not my wallet.
Jane22067 Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Women have to bear the children--they should not have to support their husbands and children too Why should we have husbands to have such an arrangement Men should support their families
Pyro Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 A man can but his wife will lose respect for him. I would never want a woman that stays home as well. I want a woman that wants me and not my wallet. *Sigh*....thats our Woggle. The resident generalizer. It is possible for men to be stay at home dads, plain and simple.
Jane22067 Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Sure is because we do have some--we have one in my neighborhood
Pyro Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Sure is because we do have some--we have one in my neighborhood It is rare as of now to hear of that, but I am sure that the number will slowly climb a little bit, but it is difficult to fight a tradition that has been around for a long time, and that tradition being the guy being the breadwinner and nothing else, but as humans we are slowly changing and trying out new customs.
Woggle Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 *Sigh*....thats our Woggle. The resident generalizer. It is possible for men to be stay at home dads, plain and simple. Because it is the truth. Women in general who make more than their husbands lose respect for them. They start seeing him as beneath them and start treating him as one of the children.
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