EricOnTheWeb Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 Hi all,I'm new here and I do say I like this place so far. I've been to a simular forum having to do with relationships,but was dishonorably discharged from that forum. I was banned for vulgar behavior and lashing out on others due to my own real life relationship woes. In this other forum I made several close friends,friends that gave they're hearts and souls in order to give me advice and to understand my worries. I was in a stage of life I had not experienced before and went into a severe denial bordering on depression. Out of my frustrations I said and did things that were really hurtful to others that tried to help me,I told big lies and insulted them and gave nothing but disrespect to them. Recently I have been going for treatment for my anxiety and relationship worries...I am doing better handeling my temper now and really have a tremendous guilt over losing some really close friends on the internet. I miss them alot and I was wondering if any of you believe that with such lies and insults to them....Do you think I could ever show them that I have improved myself and wanting to be friends again? I have decided to not contact them for a long time,but yeah I would like to show them I have gotten my life back straight..Do you think someone like me could ever be forgiven for such lies and insults?. (Eric)
Guest Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Eric, I have done the same thing. So I hope I can been forgiven. I had been so beaten down that I wanted to be the person they thought I was. I never set out to hurt anyone. I wanted to post to let you know you weren't alone. I hope people who have been lied to will post and give us their thoughts.
kalypso Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 It really does depend on the extent that you hurt these people. I do believe in forgiveness...not necessarily ever forgetting...but everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves a second chance. Third, fourth, fifth...debatable... Im sure that if you can get yourself in order, and then approach them with a simple appology, thats effort on your part. But make sure that EVERYTHING is in order on your end first, and dont expect anything in return from them. Look at it as if you hear back from them then bonus.
amerikajin Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Hi all,I'm new here and I do say I like this place so far. I've been to a simular forum having to do with relationships,but was dishonorably discharged from that forum. I was banned for vulgar behavior and lashing out on others due to my own real life relationship woes. In this other forum I made several close friends,friends that gave they're hearts and souls in order to give me advice and to understand my worries. I was in a stage of life I had not experienced before and went into a severe denial bordering on depression. Out of my frustrations I said and did things that were really hurtful to others that tried to help me,I told big lies and insulted them and gave nothing but disrespect to them. Recently I have been going for treatment for my anxiety and relationship worries...I am doing better handeling my temper now and really have a tremendous guilt over losing some really close friends on the internet. I miss them alot and I was wondering if any of you believe that with such lies and insults to them....Do you think I could ever show them that I have improved myself and wanting to be friends again? I have decided to not contact them for a long time,but yeah I would like to show them I have gotten my life back straight..Do you think someone like me could ever be forgiven for such lies and insults?. (Eric) I hope you also have friends off the Internet, too. That aside, the question isn't whether lying can be forgiven; the question is, can you regain trust once you've damaged it severely. And the answer is, sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends on the person. The moral of the story is, understand that your actions always have consequences, and while some people are able to forgive and forget, others forgive but never forget, and some others neither forgive nor forget. Best not screw up relationships in the first place. Work on your interpersonal skills. Sounds like counseling's helping, so keep up the good work.
Ariadne Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 I miss them alot and I was wondering if any of you believe that with such lies and insults to them....Do you think I could ever show them that I have improved myself and wanting to be friends again? Personally, I wouldn't care about the insults very much (and sometimes there is some truth to the insults that is worth to look at). I think I'd care if you lied all the time, since I would have to discern if everything you say is true or not. (But usually I believe what people say) Not sure if your friends are like that though, most people get offended at insults and never forgive you for that. Worth the try if that's what you want to do, good luck, Ariadne
Author EricOnTheWeb Posted April 9, 2007 Author Posted April 9, 2007 Thank you all for the replies,it is really appreaciated. I told huge lies and told false promises to alot of good people that tried to get me to see someone about my loneliness and other problems. I caused alot of trouble on another forum and made myself look like a complete sociopath posing as multiple people and playing hacking games with them. This went on for about a year until they decided to take it upon themselves to "get me" They thought I would do harm to myself or someone else that I used to know on the internet. I do not blame them one bit,but in my view I was really mad at them for taking information I had trusted them with and using it to get me banned from the forum and creating this false image of myself. I'm really not as bad as they think I am and now that I have really went and got help for my problem I feel guilt that I treated them that way. I was frustrated and I know its not an excuse for the way I behaved,but its the way I handled things. I don't think they'll forgive me...the lies and insults were to many,but even though they are just internet friends,they were pretty close...We all shared the same feelings and all of that crap... Yeah I miss them and this guilt I have sucks,but I guess thats what I'll have to accept cause of what I did. Maybe someday I can show them that I have finally got my act together,and yes!...therapy is the best thing I've done,it really helps a ton and I just wished I followed all of they're instructions a LONG time ago...They tried to get me to go get help,but instead I turned into this fruit cake with them. I guess the only thing I can do is give it a ton of time to heal...Maybe in a couple of years I can finally make ammends. I know its strange,but these internet friends of mine became very close to me. I have one of these friends left and she is a total Sweety,even after I told her the same lies...She always knew what I felt and just stuck with me ignoring my rants.. I hurt them badly,but I'll never give up hope I can show them that I finally took they're advice.. It's funny how close internet people can get lol...oyyyy Thanks again for the information and I swear to god that I'll never cause any trouble or tell any lies to any of the people on this forum... For anyone watching...honesty and listening to people when they try to help you will get you farther in life...believe me.. (Eric)
Zona76 Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 [sIZE=4][COLOR=#008080]Well my friend, you have come a very long way. We all have a different personality on the internet. We become loose and say things we don't mean. Now I will add to Eric's story. I was there. I saw and knew deep down Eric was only playing a game. Childish? Yes! But it was a game. I was never offended. He and I are good friends because of all of this. And Eric, I don't feel it was so much that you hurt people, but that they embarrassed you. You stand humiliated and can't erace this pain you think you caused. Time heals. And time moves us into new directions. You've grown. If they can't forgive, they are the ones that cannot grow.[/COLOR][/sIZE]
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