Reasons for lack of interest

[km]

I'll admit I've not read every thread here about marriages with infrequent sex -- they're too depressing, as most fall into the blame game pretty quickly.

 

But something I'm not seeing much of, and so I'm wondering if it's just me, is how, despite a hearty enjoyment of the physical aspects of sex, women may be not interested because of emotional impediments.

 

My problem, for example, is that my DH has lied to me so often, or yelled at me so often, or been heartlessly arrogant so often that, every time the possibility of sex comes around, I think about that, and I just really don't have any interest in having sex with someone that I know can, at the drop of a hat, turn on me. Even during the times when I LIKE him, those thoughts come up.

 

Any other women out there still have the PHYSICAL capacity for sex, but fear they've lost the EMOTIONAL capacity?

[Island Girl]

I'm not in this position but OUCH I feel for you.

 

You have some very real issues with feeling valued, accepted, and loved.

 

Of course it would be difficult to have sex. It is such an intimate act and you have learned not to completely trust your husband.

 

I don't mean you think he is cheating, etc. but that you don't feel you can place yourself in his hands and be cherished. And he has lied to you "often" so the very real aspect of trust has been consistently damaged.

 

Have you thought about counseling? Or at least reading a couple of books? I've heard Relationship Rescue by Dr. Phil is a good one and he doesn't HAVE to read it. You can read it and help yourself.

[Leoni]

Your husband reminds me of the neighborhood bully. You should stand up to him and see what a coward he turns out to be.

[Mr. Lucky]

My problem, for example, is that my DH has lied to me so often, or yelled at me so often, or been heartlessly arrogant so often that, every time the possibility of sex comes around, I think about that, and I just really don't have any interest in having sex with someone that I know can, at the drop of a hat, turn on me.

That's not the "blame game" ???

 

Mr. Lucky