jaycie724 Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 So, Doug just pulled out with all of his things a little while ago. I just feel like I'm broken into a half a million little pieces and I don't know how to put myself together again. Part of me just wants to die. I dont know that there is anything you all can do to help, but, please...someone...how do I get through this?
polywog Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Ick, it sucks, it hurts... I know! Go out and get a copy of "How to Survive the Loss of a Love". And take good care of yourself, you are healing from a big hurt, and know that even though it feels like death right now, it will get better and easier with time, that's a given.
Poboy Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 read the coping section here ( where you have posted this thread ) , there are some good threads with great advice ...
frd150 Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Hey Jaycie, I have read some of your threads and let me tell you i can relate to exactly what you are going through right now. She pulled out without any real warning. This was two monthes ago and i am still missing her. For me at this point it is hour by hour when before i could not turn off my grief at all. I just wish that people (the dumpers) could walk a mile in our shoes so that they could feel the pain we feel. In my situation i am dealing with someone who is confused about what she wants to do which makes it even harder to deal with. Well, i could go on. Believe me. Hang in there sweetie we are all here for you. Polywog, Can you shed a little light on the book for us? Thanks in advance.
Ssheena Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 You will get through this. Breathe deep and remember Scarlett O'Hare's - tomorrow is another day. You can find out all about the book and probably even "search inside" at A online bookstore - AMAZing ON ...
Cossette4 Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 Jaycie, my prayers are with you. You WILL get through this. You are strong enough to survive this. And when it's over, you'll be stronger and wiser than you ever were before.
Author jaycie724 Posted April 7, 2007 Author Posted April 7, 2007 thank you all for your support and kind words. I can't tell you how happy I am to be a part of this online community. You all are great. I'm doing just a tiny bit better today, but I'm missing him terribly. I guess I'm making my first little baby step.
AriaIncognito Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 I've been following your story from the start. It's going to be really tough, but you will come out the other end a stronger person for it. And eventually, you'll get to know why this relationship doesn't work out. I'm praying for that same realization for me, someday. Chin up.
ruby_gloom Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 I've been following your story from the start. Same here. I feel for you very much, jaycie. Right now, it is so hard, but the truth is that it will get better little by little over time. Not too long ago I used to post about how extremely heart-broken I was, and I remember reading a lot of responces with the 'it gets better with time' idea, and I used to think that I would never, ever feel better and that no one could possibly understand the pain I was in. I honestly felt like my pain was greater than everyone else's, and that because of it, I would always feel awful. Fortunately, I was wrong: it really does get better with time. I'm still not over what happened to me, and maybe I'm not even close, but I can tell you that while I still think of him daily and remember the better times (which hurt a lot still), I at least have stopped crying everyday. I eat normally now, I go out every now and then, I laugh, and I don't feel the urge to cry everytime I think about him anymore. I miss him still, that's for sure, but it's not as bad as it was not that long ago. Just as I and others have gotten a little better, you will too. That little will turn into a lot someday, until you feel fully and completely better; you'll see. I hope you're feeling a little better. In the meantime, we all need to go karaoke "Heartbreaker" by Pat Benatar.
Ssheena Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 Shot through the heart and you're to blame, you give love a bad name...
stace79 Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 I don't know if you have anyone like this, but what I wish I had: one or two people who would just be there and let me cry, and maybe give me hugs once in awhile, and watch stupid movies and eat junk food. I guess that is supposed to be what my best friends do, but they don't really....and my mom is sick of me crying over the ex, and my sister lives across the country.... Anyway that is what I want most, so maybe if you have someone like that...even a pet maybe?
Author jaycie724 Posted April 9, 2007 Author Posted April 9, 2007 I don't know if you have anyone like this, but what I wish I had: one or two people who would just be there and let me cry, and maybe give me hugs once in awhile, and watch stupid movies and eat junk food. I guess that is supposed to be what my best friends do, but they don't really....and my mom is sick of me crying over the ex, and my sister lives across the country.... Anyway that is what I want most, so maybe if you have someone like that...even a pet maybe? I have that and I don't. I have three good friends, two of which live close to me, who are doing their very best to make sure that I'm not super lonely. It's hard though because they are both grad students and I don't feel right asking for a lot of their very precious time. Sometimes its hard for me to cry around them too, but they're really supportive. My mom is sick of me crying over Doug, so I can relate to you on that one. I've got a cat and a dog and both get stressed when I'm upset, so that's hard...plus the ex took one of my two dogs (which was technically his dog) so my dog is missing him. I'm doing a little bit better today, but it is so hard on a daily basis...especially seeing the physical void where his stuff used to be (like half the closet is empty, he took the bedroom set, etc) I'm moving out of the apt he and I shared at the end of May and I'm really looking forward to getting a fresh start in a place where I don't have so many memories of him. It's tough though, not being able to see him every day, or text him when I get good news, or even know whats going on in his life...when our two lives had been so intertwined for almost 7 years....that's such a long time to cut off cold turkey. It's so very difficult for me. I try to keep reminding myself why we split when I miss him, I try to remember the note that I found and that he had sex with someone else and dumped me for a 20 year old loser with a kid. But its so hard to remember that when I just keep remembering the good times. I can't wait until I hit the "angry phase" that so many people keep talking about. It'll be easier to not be around him when I can remember what a jerk he is. *sigh* This is just so hard..but you know...I made it to day 3. That's something
stace79 Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 You are doing pretty amazing if you ask me. My ex and I only dated for maybe a year, and that's not even including all the little nuances like when we were "just dating" and "just friends" and "on a break." We certainly never lived together. I'm a wreck....you must have amazing strength considering the length of time you guys were together. I guess it's sort of like addicts...one minute at a time, or even one second at a time if you must. The only positive thing I guess I can say right now is that I was given a quote a long time ago that says "Life is like licking honey off a thorn." I guess I take that to mean that you can't appreciate life's sweetest moments without experiencing the most bitter of pain. Sick and twisted, if you ask me, but hey, I guess living beats the alternative, huh?
Author jaycie724 Posted April 11, 2007 Author Posted April 11, 2007 I miss him!!!!!!!! Even though I keep reminding myself what a loser he is, I just really miss him. *sigh* Rough night for me.
Ssheena Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 We are here for you Jaycie... and speaking for myself (and I'm thinking others of us here too) YOU are more important to us than you are to him right now. You matter to me. I know you miss him. I know you are lonely but you are not alone. Snuggle with your kitty and doggie.
hurting_in_nw Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Keep your chin up Jaycie...watch a funny movie or anything to get you smiling for a little bit.
stace79 Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Strange thing happened to me today. I was exhausted today. I hardly slept the past two nights. Last night I was sobbing on the phone with my ex, begging him not to hang up yet. It was truly the most pathetic I think I've ever been in my life. I woke up today, feeling like crap. My eyes were so swollen I had to wear glasses to work. I felt miserable, plus it was rainy and cloudy and gray all day long. I threw myself into work. Tried to keep reminding myself over and over that this was the worst it could possibly ever get. Then he called at like 1 pm and left me this sickeningly sweet voicemail. Asked all about how I was, he hoped I was having a better day, that I'd gotten some rest overnight, hoped to hear back from me later. It just made me so angry. I decided this was it. I was done allowing this guy or any other guy to think he had the upperhand and that I couldn't live without him. I worked my butt off all day. I then went with some coworkers to an exercise class. It felt awesome, even though I was exhausted. I then came home and watched a favorite TV show. I even laughed at some television commercials. I made something good to eat. I got a hot bath with candles and listened to one of my favorite CDs. Every time I thought about getting sad, started to think about my ex, started to think about him doing all the things we used to do with his new girlfriend (his ex), I said forget it....I forced myself to think about all the things that I want, I need and I deserve. He is an idiot. And so is your ex. People like that will always be unhappy, because they don't appreciate what they have right in front of them. They're always searching for the next "best" thing. So let them keep searching. What I realized tonight was that everything I did before I met him, I can still do. I don't need him -- or any other man for that matter -- to enjoy a hot bath, to enjoy an evening relaxing in PJs with no makeup and watching my favorite cheesy movie, to appreciate my favorite song, to take care of myself by working out and eating right and getting a good night's rest. The thing that picks me up the most is that I know in my heart I will be happy and completely back to normal, SOON, with or without a new relationship. And that's the best revenge...having a happy life. Whoever both of us choose to be our man should complement the lives we already have...and as hard as it was to accept it, I do have a life of my own, that's pretty awesome when you really get down to it. I know it is so hard. I was in the depths of agony last night, thinking I would never make it through today. I really said to myself that I wanted to die to avoid feeling that pain anymore. But really, we all do get through it!!! I really wish that you would find some sort of peace tonight. Please remember that you are a strong woman, that our lives do go on and that there are tons of things you can do to take care of yourself. Losers like that don't deserve beautiful shining women like you and me. Stay strong!
AriaIncognito Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Stace79, Can i just say wow? Really inspiring post. People should pin it on their walls and read it whenever they start to let the ex get to them. I definitely should. Excellent.
Recommended Posts