packblossom Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 I'm 15 and I'm attending high school. I'm a sophomore and at lunch one day my cousin introduced me to a senior. His name was Miakel. He's 18 and he is hot. i mean hot. the bad news was that he had/has a girlfriend who is also a senior. anyways, one day after school he asked for my msn address and then when we talked later that night he asked for my phone #. i gave it to him and then next day he called me. Actually, he called me everyday for over a month. We would talk for almost 3 hours everynight. Needless to say my parents were getting pissed we me hogging the phone lines. I'm going to cut this short, it could get really long... He came over to my house twice. the first time he came over he and his girlfriend were still together but the second time he came over they were seperated for the time being. he got back together with her. This was a while ago now. I now have FWB with him. We've only done stuff on one occassion and that was in his truck. I haven't talked to him for over 2 weeks. We never talk at school. It's too hard because his girlfriend hates me. We are doing everything behind everyone's back. I'm not really sure what to do. I want to go to his house and...finish what i started but it's hard when we arn't talking. I'm not going to have sex with him....I don't want to lose that to him. Anyways, I don't know what to do. Should I just call it off or... I can't tell anyone what is happening. I'm afraid i'll ruin my reputation. I don't have any feelings for him and he doesn't have any for me anymore either. I want to go back but i'm worried about the outcome...
2sunny Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 call it off - immediately - if not sooner. what he is doing is sex with a minor where i live... and he could also go to jail. that is probably why he doesn't want ANYONE to know that he has pursued you. run - fast and as far away from him as you can!
Guest Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 Sweetie, there are no benefits to your friendship other than for him. If you let this go on, you will just get hurt and your self esteem will drop even more. You deserve better than that. Talk to a guidance counsellor at school or at church or wherever you have access to one. The more you isolate yourself with this the more vulnerable to exploitation you become. Get some help quick! Heck, call the kids help line if that's you're only option.
Not_That_Innocent Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 Please stop and think about what you are doing. You are much too young to be in a relationship like this. I know you said that you won't have sex, but keep messing around with him and it's just a matter of time. If he got you to fool around with him in his truck when you know he has a girlfriend, he could probably charm you into actually have sex with him. RUN!!!!!!!!!
norajane Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 You don't have to do anything like going over to his house to end it - just stop talking to him, stop messaging, do not answer his calls, do not call him, stop everything. He'll understand that it's over if you completely avoid him. He doesn't deserve to ever hear from you again. He's cheating on his girlfriend and he's treating you like crap. Don't get involved with losers like this in the future. You deserve a guy who can be honest and upfront and KIND and SWEET to you. Do not ever, ever, ever settle for anything less. And yes, he could go to jail for being involved with you - statutory rape if you have sex. Your parents could get him arrested even if you refuse to be a part of the case.
Island Girl Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 I now have FWB with him. No -- he has the benefits. You don't. We've only done stuff on one occassion and that was in his truck. So one time you messed around. It isn't like you have this long history. Just cut it off. Tell him you aren't going to be sneaking around so he can get his kicks. I'm not going to have sex with him....I don't want to lose that to him. Anyways, I don't know what to do. Should I just call it off or... I can't tell anyone what is happening. I'm afraid i'll ruin my reputation. Yes. You should just call it off. You aren't sleeping with him so ending it will preserve your reputation if anything. I haven't talked to him for over 2 weeks. We never talk at school. It's too hard because his girlfriend hates me. We are doing everything behind everyone's back. I'm not really sure what to do. I want to go to his house and...finish what i started but it's hard when we arn't talking. You talked on the phone -- and messed around once. I don't know what you mean by "doing everything behind everyone's back". Nothing is being done now -- you haven't talked to him for 2 weeks, you don't talk in school -- as you say very clearly -- you aren't talking so just leave it alone. Let that be the end. What do you mean by saying you want to go to his house and "finish what you started"? You have said you don't want to have sex with him. So what are you talking about? Finish what? You are begging for hurt if you keep this idea in your head. Just let it go. Apparently he has. That is why you haven't talked in two weeks. Get over it. He has. And he has a girlfriend. I don't have any feelings for him and he doesn't have any for me anymore either. I want to go back but i'm worried about the outcome... You don't have feelings for him. Let it go. Get over it. There is nothing to even think about. He doesn't have feelings for you. He has a girlfriend. You "want to go back"? For what? It's done and over. Move on and forget about it.
cottz Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 It's pretty obvious what you should do, packblossom, and you for one know what I think, so listen to everyone elses advice and get over miakel!
Author packblossom Posted April 10, 2007 Author Posted April 10, 2007 thank you for the advice but...it's not going to be that easy to forget about him. he was my first kiss and he's a senior which, i'm assuming you all remember, is huge. girlfriend or no girlfriend. especially when you are a sophomore. he said hi to me today. what am i supose to do? i half smiled. i probably looked kinda pissed but what does he expect. he doesn't talk to me and then out of the blue he says hey in the hallways. i think he was going to say more but i just kept walking. i feel like a bitch and a slut. i'm the 4th time he's cheated on his girlfriend. (not sure if i said that before...) I've thought about telling her but then it would be a lot a lot of drama. like there isn't enought already. more people would find out too and i have no proof besides my word. i think me saying absolutely anything is a bad bad idea. i would never have sex with him. no way. he could get me to do other things but sex....pretty much everyone on here is older than me too...so my definition of friends with benefits may have been different than yours. i'm too young to have sex. i agree with all of you but in high school, friends with benefits is fooling around. meaning pretty much just play. and i like playing. who doesn't....idk. how far is too far? did i go too far? and do i really need to never talk to him again?
norajane Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 He's a senior. Presumably, he's going to graduate in a couple of months and go away and forget ALL about you. Why do you want to waste your time on him? Put it this way, he does not DESERVE anything from you, much less giving him his sexual jollies by fooling around with him. Save it for someone else, someone who can make you feel good. It certainly sounds like this guy and all the circumstances around your relationship make you feel like crap, so what is the point of it all? Are you bored? Are there NO other guys in your school? Is THIS the best you think you can do? Open your eyes - he's using you and every other woman in his life.
mental_traveller Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 The main problem is he has a gf, and is a confirmed cheater. His gf is already suspicious of you, rightly so. Quite honestly do you need the drama? The risk of ruining your reputation and being known as a relationship wrecker and a slut? If the sh*t hits the fan, do you think this guy is going to be nice? He'll probably say that a) he had sex with you (even if he didn't), just to brag to his friends, and b) he will tell his gf that you led him on. If you want to just make out with a guy, I'm sure there are plenty of others who'd be interested, where you don't have to worry about sneaking around or incurring the wrath of a bitter gf. Also if somehow you *do* end up having sex (with him or someone else), use a condom and make sure you go take a morning after pill the next day. You definitely don't want to get an STD or pregnant at your age.
Author packblossom Posted April 14, 2007 Author Posted April 14, 2007 he emailed me...on the 12th. this is the first time that he's said anything to me since the 21st....besides the hey in the hallway. he's mad. some rumor is going around. i'm not sure how it got started. i don't even know what the rumor is for sure. he told me i made his life hell. wtf. and that's my problem why? he said he wouldn't even think about doing stuff with me because he's 18 and i'm 15.....we did do stuff. more than i planned. way more than i planned. i'm beginning to wonder if his girlfriend wrote it but how would she know anything. some how he thinks that i said that we've been together multiple times...i've never ever said that. i've told my close friends what has happened but other than that. no one. which means...potentially i was backstabbed. this is so messed up. do i email him back? ooo, "i say stupid sh*t that is no where near truth." he said that too. i promise everything i've said on here has been the truth along with everything i've said at school which means my words would have had to have been twisted. i'm tempted to email him back... i'm so unbelievenly pissed at him....which i do have a right to be. can i email him back? be like god grow up.
Trialbyfire Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 He's a jerk. Ignore him. He's managed to twist it around so you're the bad person even though he's three years older and should know better than to play with someone underage. Notice that he's not acknowledging you as being deserving of any respect beyond a secret? Be glad you learned two key lessons in life. Don't get involved with a player and be careful who you tell things to.
Ariadne Posted April 14, 2007 Posted April 14, 2007 Well, I think you should call it off for the simple reason that he is ditching you. What can you do? Better luck next time, Ariadne
Author packblossom Posted April 25, 2007 Author Posted April 25, 2007 i haven't talked to him. yay me. it's been a long time but i checked my email today and he emailed me again. he's blackmailing me. idk what to do. why can't he just leave me alone. i did what you guys said and i quite talking to him altogether. i don't even like to talk to him. if someone brings him up i change the subject. he said that he was going to tell one of my friends that i told him that my friend cheated on her boyfriend and he said he was going to make sure her boyfriend found out too. it's so stupid. anyways. idk what to do. i just want him to leave me alone.
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