confused&alone Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 He is 22 and i think he is seeing a girl of 16, just when i thought i was feeling a bit better about things i find this out...........i feel so numb And to make it worse i was speaking to him online last night and i said some really horrible things to him..........i text him this morning saying that i was sorry but got no reply
jusified Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 maybeits just me, but i think is wrong for a 22 year old to go for 16 year old
Author confused&alone Posted April 6, 2007 Author Posted April 6, 2007 You think its wrong or you dont think its wrong?
shellys-trying Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 I believe it's against the law, isn't it? Statutory rape, in fact.
Art_Critic Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 You need to stop speaking to him and practice NC.. You cannot heal and move on if you continue to speak with and contact him..
shellys-trying Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Well, morally speaking, then, I think it's disgusting. There are too many "of age" women than to settle with some 16 yr old. Even if she does probably have more experience than I do, and I'm 38 and from the USA.
Author confused&alone Posted April 6, 2007 Author Posted April 6, 2007 You need to stop speaking to him and practice NC.. You cannot heal and move on if you continue to speak with and contact him.. Thats what im going to do, starting from today, i cant be bothered getting hurt anymore.............there is the fact of some of my things still being at his house though, how do i go about that?
shellys-trying Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 I would also take ArtCritic's signature to heart, too! It makes a world of sense! The guy you speak of isn't worth your time or heart, if he can move on so easily. You're young and single, and your heart's in the right place. Real men dig that in a girl.
shellys-trying Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Thats what im going to do, starting from today, i cant be bothered getting hurt anymore.............there is the fact of some of my things still being at his house though, how do i go about that? I would ask that he leave your stuff with a mutual friend or someone trustworthy you both may know? Even your parent's/a relative's home? Somewhere where you don't have to meet face to face. And if you do the contacting to arrange a drop off place, make it short and civil. Just ask for your stuff , arrange the dropoff and get off the line. No mushy stuff, to be sure. That would just make it harder on you. You might even have a friend call him to arrange the dropoff of your belongings. Anything that's easier on YOU.
corazoncito Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 The things you have at this house, are they worth going back for? If they can be replaced, maybe it's better to just let them go. Or if you absolutely have to have them, could you ask a friend to get them for you?
Author confused&alone Posted April 6, 2007 Author Posted April 6, 2007 he lives with a friend of mine and i think he is working on monday so i could go and get it then i guess
oppath Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 It's ok if you said hurtful things to him. You want him to acknowledge your apology because you want to feel that he does view you fondly and did care about you. It is ok to express anger. It is ok to criticize when you are really hurt. We go through life thinking any expression of anger is wrong...and when things are calm or only mildly irritating, this is true. But when you are deeply wounded, that goes out the window. Sometimes things need to be said even if they are vicious. It doesn't make you a bad or abusive person. It means you were hurt. Deeply. That is part of being human. You have a free pass. This is a guy who basically kept you on a string and still slept with you for a couple months after the break up, right? Real men don't do that. Real men would not have sex with a girl in that situation because they know it will emotionally prevent the girl from healing. Yes, sometimes guys can separate sex from emotions, generally moreso than women. But any guy worth a damn can recognize when a girl didn't want the breakup and was hurt and is still in love. A real man would not say "it's just sex. You know that. I made no promises and it is your fault if you stayed attached." Hells no. A real man would say "You deserve more than a FWB situation and you deserve to heal. I know these things because I was with you, and do view you fondly. I want you to heal so you can have the relationship you deserve." That is how real men act following a non-mutual breakup.
Author confused&alone Posted April 7, 2007 Author Posted April 7, 2007 Im sorry, im kind of new here......what does FWB mean?
melodymatters Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 "friends with benefits" a term I loathe, but there ya go !
Author confused&alone Posted April 7, 2007 Author Posted April 7, 2007 Oh rite, ok. Yes well we had been sleeping with each other up until about 3 weeks ago then i think he realised that it was wrong
Recommended Posts