easy2start Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Thanks for any response you can give me. I'm a 44 male never been married nor do I have any children. I recently took a new job and my new co-worker and I really hit off. She has been in a relationship for 9 years living together and has been engaged for about 3 years. After a couple of months of working and talking with her I had supected that their relationship was not as good as she thought it should be. So while I hadn't been in a relationship in over 1 1/2 years so I wanted to persue her. So on a company dinner outting and when everyone had left I whispered to her that I didn't have to go home anytime soon and she said she didn't either and kissed me. So long story short I was right in that she was unhappy in her relationship. She told me that he had moved out over a year ago but that they were still together. He would come over everyday a spend time with her and almost everyday she would ask him "When are you coming home?" and he always says "soon, and I love you"....for over a year now. She says she don't want to loose the 8 years that were so great but she knows that she can't continue living this way. I have filled a void in her life but she can't let go of her (past) current relationship. What advice can I give to her? I care deeply for her but can she really still be in Love with him and the way he has been treating her? Last week we went out for dinner and he found out about it and he gave her the third degree. Well she fought back and he finally admitted that he was involed (living) with another woman but said " Its not what you think." to her. Something do with a court date with his son, who is living with the daughter of the other woman. He said that he was moving back home after the court date and for to hold on and that he loved her. In the mean time he keeps harrassing her about me to which she has only told him that we are just friends. Where do I go from here? How can I help her even if we don't end up together? I really just want her to be happy even if its not with me. She is so confused on what to do, please help.
norajane Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 YOU can't help her. YOU can't give her any advice. The truth is, SHE has been aware their relationship is on the rocks for a long time. And now she knows he's living with another women - blah blah court case blah blah son blah blah it's all crap. SHE told him that you are just friends. SHE STILL WANTS HIM. Since she still wants him, there is nothing you can do or say to "help" her. She wants him. So unless you can help her to get him and have him and keep him, you are just an emotional crutch for her to escape from her problems. Step back, far back, now. The longer you stay, the more you get involved, the more deeply you will be hurt.
Jinxx Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 Step back, far back, now. The longer you stay, the more you get involved, the more deeply you will be hurt. Good advice! As hard as it may be for you, do not involve yourself with this situation. Let her do what is best for her. If you continue, you are only setting yourself up for an unbearable amount of pain and heartache.
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