loquaciousl Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 I've been casually dating this guy for a month now. We've seen each other a number of times and have agreed "taking it slow" is the best course of action. As we've gotten to know each other, I find he (I am a girl) is sweet, smart, sexy, and caring. He's a lot of what I look for in someone. Taking it slow has been hard for me but where I'm at in my life has helped me to relish doing so as I am really developing a love for myself, which is great....anyhow, back to the situation. I was talking on the phone with this guy tonight. We got onto the subject of past relationships and I asked him what happened with his last relationship. There was a pause and he told me that he had been with a girl for a year and a half and it was pretty serious. He made the mistake of having drinks with an ex girlfriend and according to him he had a few drinks and ended up hanging out at his ex's place. He said she was all over him and he ended up fooling around with her, but didn't have sex. Anyhow, his girlfriend at the time found out about his indiscretion and dumped him on the spot. On a unbiased level, I understand why she dumped him as I would do the same thing. He then went on to tell me that part of why he is taking it slow with me is because he is coming to terms with what he did and doesn't think it's a good idea to jump back into a relationship. We got into a pretty deep discussion and I told him that while everyone makes mistakes and loses out pretty big as a result of their mistakes that I am not pressuring him into anything. Here's the thing. I like this guy a lot. I have other men on the back burner but aside from this HUGE thing I am really digging this guy. I told him that trust is huge for me and that while I like him that if he was to be with me at some point that I wouldn't want it to be a rebound because I deserve more. He said that he knows that I am wife material and a great catch and all that jazz. He also says he is digging me and he is really attracted to me and doesn't see us as just friends. I admire his honesty, as he could of lied, and I know that this is a big bit of baggage. I told him that I wouldn't want to be a replacement for what he has lost as this ex won't talk to him ever again. Instinct tells me to keep on talking with him and build a foundation with him. I think people make mistakes and I know he feels bad about what he did. But instinct also tells me to be extremely cautious and not put all of my eggs into one basket. It's weird because this aside we both see we have tons in common and are wildly attracted to one another. I know he likes me, but at the same time I know that he has **** to deal with. Part of me thinks I just need to date other people as well and see what happens here, too. I don't know, it seems complicated, but also he is pretty amazing. Advice?
Hitman10000 Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 The both of you probably have a couple of "optional" in the background or whatever. That "strong" feeling you got isn't really strong. Just the initial attraction. Because of the optionalities, just casual date since it seems to work for the both of you.
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