ratingsguy Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 Hi everyone, Just an update. Today is day 60 of NC. I still miss and love my MW tremendously, although I'm noticing that I'm moving on with life. For those not familiar with my story, long story short... I met a woman 15 years older than me. She was in a loveless 22 year marriage. We began our A back in May of last year. We became seriously involved in October. She legally separated from her husband Jan. 1 (not because of me). She began to pull away shortly thereafter. She said that she needed time to herself (which I thought was understandable just getting out of a long marriage) and I asked for 3 months of NC. NC has not been broken. We agreed before the NC to meet again in May to regroup. I fully expect her to either ask for more time or say that she and I have no future together. I plan to ask her to be brutally honest with me. That's a month away. For now, I'm keeping busy with work, friends and family, and yes I have begun to date. Life does indeed go on.
whichwayisup Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 Good to hear that you're doing alright. She owes you that honesty, no matter what, even if it will hurt you. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.
sapphire0903 Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 Good luck to you RG! I hope you find happiness while you keep moving on. May I ask, If she asks for more time, do you grant that to her? How much time?
sadbuttrue Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 i am glad you are doing well ratingsguy. i hope it gets better everyday oh and i love the princess bride
Jinxx Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 It sounds like you are doing well. May will be here soon and you'll have your answer. Good luck to you.
Author ratingsguy Posted April 6, 2007 Author Posted April 6, 2007 Good luck to you RG! I hope you find happiness while you keep moving on. May I ask, If she asks for more time, do you grant that to her? How much time? I've thought about this a lot. Back in January she kept telling me that she wished it was a year from now. But coming out of such a long marriage and being able to be single again... who knows. My therapist suggested that if she says that she's unsure about how much more time she'll need I should go back into another 3 months of NC. But if she has a very good idea as to when she'll be ready to explore a R with me again, then (and only then) I should very slowly ease back into talking with her... maybe once every two weeks or something like that. I'm guessing that she'll be unsure, in which case it will be back to NC. When we see each other again, I just plan to be very honest about my feelings and I'm going to ask her to be brutally honest about hers... even if what she may say will hurt me. Better to hurt now and move on as opposed to drag things on. That's the long answer to your question. The short answer is that I'm giving her a year to straighten out her feelings before I give up completely (but I of course won't tell her that).
whichwayisup Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 (but I of course won't tell her that). That's smart. Yes, honesty is the best policy, I mean it wouldn't do either of you any good to hold back and not be completely honest.
Guest Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Why is everyone pussy footing around RG? Tough talking is needed. His XMW has moved on and is just not interested in him or she would have been in contact by now. She may have needed a couple of weeks to straighten herself out, but not all this time. If she missed him she would have phoned or emailed him. She will be most surprised/alarmed if RG is thinking of their future. She used you to get out of her marriage, dumped you and offered you the sop of friendship which you rejected. You have not moved on. driving past her house, visiting restaurants near her etc. You still want her but she finished with you months ago. I know I am being harsh, but I am trying to get some reality into your head or else you will be truly hurt in May when she says she has moved on--assuming she even wants to meet you. What part of she isn't in love with you don't you get. Sometimes I wonder if your posts are for real, as it is the same old bleating. Art Critic and others get some sense into RG's head quick!!!
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