Author sleepyfantasy Posted April 5, 2007 Author Posted April 5, 2007 But if you don't love him, $$ will NOT make you happy....... That's kind of what I was thinking. I do want to make it work out between us, though...And he does make me happy. I think it's still too early to start with the "love" stuff, y'know? As I've said, we get along very well, and have quite a few things in common. I don't think I said it before, but the year thing was set by him. He wanted to give it at least a year for us to see how well we mix, and to give us time to figure out how to work out differences, but not too much time, since both of us are still young.
Porn_Guy Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 That's kind of what I was thinking. I do want to make it work out between us, though...And he does make me happy. . then there isn't any problem, is there?
Author sleepyfantasy Posted April 5, 2007 Author Posted April 5, 2007 Never really had a problem (at least not yet). I just wanted any kind of pointers on how to make it work.
taiko Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 In the Philippines you need consent to get married untill you are 25? Might be an old law to keep the 13 year olds working in the Subic Bay Whore houses untill they were at least 25. Yes I am being sarcastic. But there were some very under aged Prostitutes in the Philippines. The local authorities and the Military just looked the other way. No disrespect intended for Filipinos. For the most part they are wonderful people, with strong family ties. No ofense taken there ois the love/hate relationship with the homeland because of the corruption which seems worse here then other ex Spamish colonies. The prositution industry as I see it was a big reason the RP moved to throw out that huge cash cow, the USN and USAF bases. Now the girls of the Philippines are prostitutes in Korea and Japan. Along with some at the old haunts for the sex tourist. All laws are old laws. 25 year old consent isn't the killer. The no divorce laws were husbands abandon their wives or openly take mistresses because she has no recourse is the big problem.
taiko Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 In the Philippines you need consent to get married untill you are 25? Might be an old law to keep the 13 year olds working in the Subic Bay Whore houses untill they were at least 25. Yes I am being sarcastic. But there were some very under aged Prostitutes in the Philippines. The local authorities and the Military just looked the other way. No disrespect intended for Filipinos. For the most part they are wonderful people, with strong family ties. No ofense taken there is the love/hate relationship with the homeland because of the corruption which seems worse here then other ex Spanish colonies. The prositution industry as I see it was a big reason the RP moved to throw out that huge cash cow, the USN and USAF bases. Now the girls of the Philippines are prostitutes in Korea and Japan. Along with some at the old haunts for the sex tourist. All laws are old laws. 25 year old consent isn't the killer. The no divorce laws were husbands abandon their wives or openly take mistresses because she has no recourse is the big problem.
Scrivdog Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 statistically, arranged marriages have a much higher success rate than non-arranged marriages. That's only because the dude has to pay back the dowry if he divorces her
mental_traveller Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 I have to give it a year before I'm allowed to break anything off. So, yeah, I have to marry him, but if we can't work things out in a year, we can end it. Oh, and I just turned 19. You're living in a free country - you don't "have to" marry him at all if you don't want to, neither do you have to give it a year or even one day longer than you feel like. You can just turn around and say "no" at any time, if you don't feel comfortable. If your family try to force you with threats & violence, just pick up a phone and dial 911. Can I ask why you feel you are "forced" to go ahead with this? You aren't a chattel slave, after all - they abolished that a few years back. Now if you like the guy, then by all means keep seeing him. But don't let your family or his make any decisions for you. It's up to you to decide what to do, you are 19 and now an adult. Stand up for yourself, it will be you who has to live the rest of your life with the consequences of these decisions, not them.
Author sleepyfantasy Posted April 6, 2007 Author Posted April 6, 2007 That's the thing: Nearly everyone in my family has had an arranged marriage. So, I guess it's kind of a family tradition. I know I'm not "forced" to do anything; I'm doing this willingly. I don't have a problem with it. I just wanted pointers that might help ensure that things work out.
mental_traveller Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 That's the thing: Nearly everyone in my family has had an arranged marriage. So, I guess it's kind of a family tradition. I know I'm not "forced" to do anything; I'm doing this willingly. I don't have a problem with it. I just wanted pointers that might help ensure that things work out. Ok - if it's voluntary then you pretty much have the same situation as a normal marriage, but with a fair bit more family expectation on you. It's just confusing because the term "arranged marriage" usually implies (in the west at least) some element of pressure or compulsion. The one thing I would say, is as you go along, just be totally honest with yourself how you feel. After say 9 months, if things are going great, then go ahead. But if you've had some fights, or are losing interest, or being badly treated etc, then don't be afraid to call it off. You are young and the first guy you meet is not always the right one for you. Better to decide in the next year than in 15 years and end up divorced.
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