He went back to the borderline skank...so why does it bug me???

[Tormented]

Found out yesterday that my ex went back to his borderline, slutty ex - the one he cheated with that caused our breakup 7 months ago.

 

Thing is, when he moved her in within a week after we broke up, he kicked her out 2 months later, claiming he just didn't feel anything for her, that he could never trust her, that she was a "user and loser" and got tired of her sitting around the house, refusing to get a job. He said he regretted what he did, that losing me was the worse thing that has happened to him and that I was constantly on his mind the entire time she lived there. So he threw her out, and the last I heard, she returned to her husband...who had filed for a divorce.

 

Shortly after throwing her out, he did everything he could think of to get back into my life...to the point of stalking. He made several "silent" calls to my home phone and cell, but would never say anything. Then he created a fake "persona" by the name of "Jesse" to call me with, but I hung up. He finally worked up the gonads to call me WITHOUT the persona and we talked for hours about what happened. He requested I meet him for a face to face "talk," which I refused to do...instead opting to write him a letter.

 

Within 2 weeks of receiving that letter, he paid my son a visit at his pace of employment, telling my son that if I wanted to discuss the contents in that letter, to please call him. Thought about for a few days and decided that yes, I would like to hear what he had to say. So I called his cell and left a message to call me.

 

He called me that night and we talked for hours about what happened. Called me the following 2 nights, and on the 3rd night I told him that I will never forgive him nor trust him for what he did. He begged me to spend at least one day with him to see how I felt about him after doing so. I declined, telling him that I've moved on. Before hanging up he said..."call me if you change your mind." Needless to say, I never made that call.

 

He then started calling me as "Jesse" again. That didn't work. So he called my mother, asking to speak with me but didn't give her his name. She hung up on him.

 

This has basically been going on since the day we broke up, even when borderline was living there with him.

 

Okay, NOW I find out he's taken her back. Don't know if she's living with him or not, but she is definitely back in the picture. Good chances are she has moved back in with him because she relies on men to support her. She is pathetic...text book example of a L-O-S-E-R.

 

But you know, it's his life and his business what he does with it. I am no longer a part of it, I understand this.

 

But what I DON'T understand is...why in the hell am I so bothered by this little "reunion?" Why should I care what he does? I had my chance (several, actually), to reconcile with him and I declined. Yet, it irritates the crap out of me that he's back with her. Especially so after all that he said about her.

 

I think the problem here is that it was HER, and the fact that he cheated with HER that bothers me so. I still have feelings for him, even after what he did to me, and would most likely feel a little hurt by any girlfriend he had, but something about him going back to HER just rubs the salt in my wound.

 

I can't believe how bothered I am by this. I've been pissed off since yesterday (when I found out), and can't stop thinking (fuming) about it. However, I noticed he hasn't removed his profile from the dating site he's on. Hmmm.....

 

This is ridiculous. I honestly shouldn't give a rat's arse WHO he's with, but her I am...angry as hell he went back to HER!

 

This woman cheated on him, stole from him, cussed out his 11-year-old daughter, is a druggie/drunk, had her 4 children taken away for abuse/neglect...yet, he takes her back.

 

Why, why, WHY would ANYBODY take back somebody who is a serial cheater? Is he honest to God THAT lonely...THAT desperate???

 

Okay, I had my little outburst now - just had to get it off my chest.

 

~T~

[Road Rage]

It is the same for both men and women, there are some of the species that regardless of the degree of their flaws, just have that omph. Frustrating isn`t it?

 

I feel your pain:(

[2ndIINone]

feel free to vent... so long as you know...

His going back to her... is nothing more then a blessing in disguise for you..

[Tormented]

It is the same for both men and women, there are some of the species that regardless of the degree of their flaws, just have that omph. Frustrating isn`t it?

 

I'm not so sure it's that she's got "omph" as it is he can't handle being alone...something he's said to me several times.

 

I mean, why kick her out because he couldn't trust her - didn't "feel" anything for her (or so he says), only to turn around and take her back a few months later? And if he's THAT into her, why did he continue to call my house and all the other ridiculous stunts he pulled in effort to get back ino my life? Seems to me he finally accepted that I wasn't coming back and being with her is better than being alone.

 

And that's where he and I differ. I'd rather be alone than be with somebody I could never trust.

 

Which is WHY I wouldn't take him back.

 

I guess it really bugs me that it....well, BUGS ME.

 

I honestly thought I was passed feeling this way.

 

~T~

[Tormented]

feel free to vent... so long as you know...

His going back to her... is nothing more then a blessing in disguise for you..

 

AMEN to that!

 

I guess I'm just frustrated with myself for allowing it to bother me the way that it has. It's not as though I want him back - I don't. So, really...why should it bother me that he's gone back to her?

 

There is absolutely NO future for us, not after what he did. He crossed the line of no return. Basically, I'm a forgiving person. I can forgive people for the mistakes they make....hey, we ALL screw up. I have - more times than I care to count.

 

But that doesn't mean I don't have boundaries as to what I will or won't (can't) forgive. And betrayal is one of them. He betrayed my trust, completely shattered my heart, and for that - I can NOT forgive him. If I took him back, it would be at the expense of MY dignity, my pride, and that's too high of price to pay. Because, in the end I will always have to live with myself. Perhaps he betrayed me, but I won't betray myself.

 

Sometimes, the damage done is too great to repair. If I had gone back with him after what he did, it could never be the same between us. There's absolutely no way I could look at him without grinting my teeth and thinking aout what he did to me. So why try?

 

Also, if I had taken him back...he would figure he could do anything and I'd put up with it. NOPE...wrong gal, pal!

 

So, my logical self tells me I've made the right decision by walking away, and I am proud of myself for doing so. My self-dignity and pride has stayed intact.

 

But my heart still longs for him sometimes...still misses him, still reminds me that despite what he did, we shared some beautiful times together and the memories of those times will forever remain with me, will always be a part of me.

 

It hurts, ya know?

 

~T~

[Road Rage]

tormented

 

You are so right about some people, men and women, that simply cannot, will not be alone. Even when given some patience, they likely will be better off.

 

There is something there though, after all is said and done, that he gets out of it. Now there is just no way to know what that may be.

[Tormented]

tormented

 

You are so right about some people, men and women, that simply cannot, will not be alone. Even when given some patience, they likely will be better off.

 

There is something there though, after all is said and done, that he gets out of it. Now there is just no way to know what that may be.

 

Yeah, apparently so. But if that's the case, why did he kick her out and spend MONTHS trying to get back into my life?

 

I think I know what it is about her that appeals to him. The sickness within her (a diagnosed borderline personality, alcoholic and ADHD), appeals to the sickness within HIM.

 

And THAT is something I can never satsify...THANK GOD!

 

~T~

[bridget_jones]

You keep running this lady down, whose probably just really great in bed or something and he thinks she's hot, but he's the one who's the loser. Their situation sounds like a trailer trash heaven story. I would just stay far, far away. You'd probably get a disease if you did get back with him anyway.

[Tormented]

You keep running this lady down, whose probably just really great in bed or something and he thinks she's hot, but he's the one who's the loser. Their situation sounds like a trailer trash heaven story. I would just stay far, far away. You'd probably get a disease if you did get back with him anyway.

 

Touche', Bridget! So very true!

 

I run this lady down for several good reasons. It's not just because she's with my ex, but because of the several people she's hurt - her 4 children for starters. Not to mention her husband whom she hurt VERY deeply. He's a good man, simple...but has the heart of gold and she shattered it.

 

Hot? If call sloppy, short, chunky and perpetually drunk "hot"...well then, I'd have to say you're easily amuzed.

 

I don't mean YOU personally, I'm talking about any man who would find that "hot."

 

Oh hell...what's the matter with me? Why am I allowing this crap to get under my skin? I don't want the jerk back. Lord knows I could have but I declined the "offer."

 

So why I'm bugged by this is something I don't quite understand. It's not like I haven't been dating. In fact, I'm kinda-sorta seeing somebody now and I've definitely moved on in my life.

 

Or, perhaps...I haven't moved on as well as I thought???

 

Damn...

 

~T~

[Cossette4]

I was JUST talking to my mom about this phenomenon earlier tonight--we classy girls are getting so bent out of shape about our ex'es being with trash when we should be LAUGHING.

 

WHY DO WE DO THAT?

 

My theory is just that we aren't completely back on our feet yet from the betrayal they dealt us (betrayal involving the trailer trash skanks). Even though we are "over" the ex and "above" the new girlfriend, we are still steaming about the crap that was done to us and it angers us when the people who caused us this pain "have each other" and have "love and happiness."

 

But just wait until we are really OVER IT and we have moved on to the point where the betrayal doesn't bother us anymore, and we have new, great, healthy relationships. Then the ex & skank relationship will seem so SAD and PATHETIC we will wonder why we wasted our time ever letting it bother us.

 

My mom also brought up this good point--we are wishing for "what goes around comes around," but the funny thing is, their new relationships might be just that--they GOT what they deserved after treating us the way they did--they got stuck with trailer trash drama skanks!

[Mary3]

I think you feel * tormented * in the fact that he chose that slut trailer trash crack~whore over you.

 

Maybe you ask yourself why he sinks the depths of lowly pond scum as girlfriend material ??

 

Why he left you for HER ?? ~ I think this is the deepest issue for you. IT hurts.

 

Be grateful in the fact of knowing :

 

He lost you and forever

 

He got back the piece of trash he deserves.

 

He wished with all his heart you would have forgave him and took him back but who could trust someone after all HE did to you ?

 

Your biggest problem is that you need to keep BUSY ~ go out on dates with others and forget this serious LOSER.

 

Your mind does not have that much to occupy itself in the love department. Get busy and try to forget this guy.

[Trialbyfire]

Sometimes people aren't meant to be.

 

He sounds like such a jerk and his bosom buddy, no better. Leave them to their unhappy home and take the next steps away from such a toxic environment.

[pelagicsands]

Sometimes people aren't meant to be.

That's true. But they still get born. And proceed to infect our lives.