johnsteve Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Hi, I'm new to this forum. I'm glad to see sites like this exist, it sure helps a lot to talk about these things. I have been with my GF for about 5 years now, and we have been living together for 4 of those years. We've always been very close, and spend a lot of time together. The last 3 weeks, however, she became distant and did not want to do much other than sit on her computer all day, and I noticed a definite change in her behavior. She wasn't interested in talking to me about anything other than mindless chitchat. I asked her all about it, and she told me that she didn't know if she loved me anymore. She then proceeded give me all the reasons, about how our sex life was no longer fulfilling, how I haven't shown her that I love her, and how she feels like she is more of a live-in maid than anything else. She has also become infatuated with some person online in a video game, which she spends the better part of every night with. I admit, I have been stagnant the last little while. I have a demanding career that commanded many hours of my time, time which could have been better spent with her in hindsight. I worked with my superiors to have my workload reduced last month, so that I would be home every night and on the weekends. I didn't realize some of things I was neglecting, like household chores, and all the insensitive things I was saying. Familiarity breeds contempt, they say. Not like that's any excuse. We have been talking the past week, trying to identify all the problems and sort them out. So far sex and personal responsibility are the biggest issues, and I let her know that if she wants to work this out with me, I would be committed to working with her to repair our relationship. She told me later that she had to have some time alone to think, and subsequently moved out. We both agreed to take a few weeks apart to decide what would be best for both of us, and go from there. What really scares me about this whole situation is I really do love her, and I know what I must do if she decides not to work with me to repair our broken wagon. Letting go is hard to do, and I have done it before, but she has been such an amazing person for me all this time, I am in shock that we have been reduced to this. A little part of me is uneasy that the 'space' tactic is just an out to let me down easy. She calls at least once a day, but I can't handle having this emotional rollercoaster. Should I be patient?
xXleeXx Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 [FONT=Arial][sIZE=3]I am not much of an expert at relationships but you should just tell her all your feelings, tell her that she has been an amazing girl for you over the past years that you need her in your life and would do anything to have her back, tell her you cant cope, what has made her change her mind, why? When? What? Try and talk and find out what you done wrong? And tell her that you will try your hardest to fix’s these mistakes[/sIZE][/FONT]
wlminfla Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I agree with xX! Lay it all out on the line, tell her everything, tell her exactly how you feel. Don't make the same mistake I did by waiting too long to tell. I am now stuck with ALL of these things that I want SOOO badly to say to my ex and may never have the chance to do. DON'T WAIT...DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID! Be sincere, honest, and genuine when you talk to her about and DON'T WAIT!
Recommended Posts