am I being paranoid?

[marie]

OK I live in a duplex my door faces my neighbors door. A week ago my neighbor got a new roommate. The first time I saw him he was outside and my kids and I were getting into the car. He watched us all the way out of the drive way.

 

Anyway that evening I got home he came out and started talking to me. He asked me where my roommate or husband was. Well I live alone with my two kid. He said allot of things but I just figured that he was trying to be friendly.

 

The next night I got home in the evening with my kids and when I got to the door my neighbor opened his door and watched us the hole time I was unlocking the door and opening it.

 

After I got in and shut the door I thought that was kind of creepy, but then I forgot about it. Then I got on the phone after I had been on the phone for awhile I looked up at the window and saw that my neighbor was still at his door and he was looking right at me. It really freaked me out.

 

I don't know if I should be worried about this or if I am being paranoid. I would like someones opinion

[Tony T]

If the guy, in fact, keeps looking at you I don't think you are being paranoid...you are just making an observation. You should call your landlord and let him know what's happening.

 

If I were you, I would also contact local law enforcement. You can never be too careful nowadays. It's likely he's just a guy with nothing better to do than look to see what you're doing but that's real spooky and you don't deserve to be spyed on like that. Law enforcement will advise you on exactly what you should do in this particular case.

 

If you have a male friend who can stand by while you go talk to this guy, I would confront him and ask him if he would kindly cease this behavior. But don't do this unless you have some people around to come to your aid if there's funny business.

 

I don't blame you for being upset about this. I'd be the same way...and I'm a man.

[midori]

If the guy is creeping you out, I'd pay attention to that.

 

One way to deal with it might be to say something to him directly every time you see him. Just "hi Larry." If he tries to start a longer conversation, say, "oh sorry, I've got to go ___." Just let him know that you're aware of him standing there, and you're not intimidated by him. In fact, if after a little greeting exchange he is still standing there staring at you, you could say, "Is something the matter Larry? Why are you staring at me?"

 

Obviously if the guy seems unstable you should not do anything to antagonize him. Just keep your eye on him, be sure to keep your car & your house locked. And keep the blinds drawn on the windows facing their house.

[Tony T]

If the guy is crazy, engaging him in any form could be risky. Saying "hi" to him may only encourage him...give him positive reinforcement.

 

That may be a good idea to do, it may have effects I am not aware of and that midori is. I don't really know.

 

Gawd, I wish I had females staring me down like that. I'd be in heaven...maybe...yes, I'd probably make a move pretty fast.

 

Females have it lots more difficult in these situations. This guy is real creepy. I'd be hesitant to say even a word to him without people around and my words would not be of an encouraging nature.

 

But, again, I think experienced law enforcement people would be the ones I would seek advice from on handling this.

[HokeyReligions]

You said he's your neighbor's new roommate - Have you talked to your neighbor and asked her/him if they know this chap very well?

 

I do think that contacting your local law enforcement might be a good idea, but unless he's actually done something there is not much they can do. There are websites where you can look up your zip code and see how many sex offenders are living in your neighborhood--that might be one place to start. If you know his full name you can do a little independent investigation to see if he has a criminal history.

 

The others are right - your landlord and the law enforcement need to be aware of your concerns. Has he ever approached your kids?

[pinkroses]

you have a weirdo for a neighbor. I'd definitely be concerned if I were you. The things that scares me the most is how he asked if your roommate or husband was home. He's obviously scoping out your lifestyle and trying to catch you alone. He sounds like he's a peeping tom and a potential stalker. Definitely tell your landlord that you are being watched and approached by this new neighbor and that you're worried about yours and your childrens' safety.

 

I don't think it would be wise to try to make friends with this guy or ask him what's up. Just give him a friendly nod as you come and go, and avoid him as much as possible, putting across the message that you aren't interested in getting to know him. Hopefully his fascination with watching you unlock your door and talk on the phone will subside when he realizes nothing exciting is going to happen.