Guest.Girl Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 telling me implicitly that he is 'not over' with his ex-girlfriend and I am suppose to fight for his love and it is my job to chase after him? And he said this on the very first date we went out. Is this a common trick, the truth or some secret unfullfiled fanatasy of guys? The question is, what should I do? Please help, I am sure some of you guys have used this before and some of you girls have experienced this before.
Enema Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 I've never used it before or heard of it being used as a trick. It's bizarre! Don't waste your time on someone who obviously isn't ready to be dating again. Find someone that will be able to focus on, you!
bridget_jones Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Any guy that said that to me, I would say "Hey, dude, have fun with your ex. Don't let the door hit you in the ass while you're leaving, buddy." Maybe he wants to make his exgirlfriend jealous or something to get her back. A guy telling a woman he's on a date with she's supposed to chase him? HAIL no. This guy is a total weirdo.
nicki Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Do you mean he told you "explicitly?" That would mean that he came right out and said it. "Implicitly" means implication by actions or speech, but not said outright. I'm thinking that he told you straight out that he isn't over his ex and wants you to "fight" for his heart. In that case, be glad he told you. Thank him for his honestly. Tell him that he is welcome to call you in a few months after he is "over" his ex, and that you wish him well in the meantime. Then run out the door! Seriously. Yikes, you are not a nursemaid, nor should you have to compete with another woman for a guy's heart. He should want to give it to you. You have nothing to prove. Of course, if you want to, you could still see him and date other men, while he is "recovering." But that's tricky. You might really fall for him and give your heart to him before he's ready to do the same. That's why you can't give him exclusivity until he is on equal ground emotionally...a slippery slope to navigate. If he really said that he wants you to "fight for his heart," then I'd back away from that fight. It's hard to box with an ex's ghost, and you shouldn't have to. What a jerk for saying that to you. He sounds egotistical. Anyway, be grateful he told you. The worst guys are the ones who say they are over the ex (but aren't) and break your heart six months or a year later. Run!
ash519 Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 I agree with Nicki! RUN RUN RUN! Why get all tangled up in something like that. Be like "Hey buddy, you should be working to get me to like you, not the other way around." This is going to be a bad situation. 5 Years from now, say you're together do you want to have to say "Yeah, when we started dating he still loved his ex and said i would have to compete for his affections." Aw, cute story. Yuck, move on, find someone without baggage.
luvtoto Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 telling me implicitly that he is 'not over' with his ex-girlfriend and I am suppose to fight for his love and it is my job to chase after him? And he said this on the very first date we went out. Is this a common trick, the truth or some secret unfullfiled fanatasy of guys? The question is, what should I do? Please help, I am sure some of you guys have used this before and some of you girls have experienced this before. No, this is not a fantasy/game. This is the hard truth. He is still in love with his ex. If you want to get your heart broken, then play along. Sounds like you are already chasing him. Back off. He is not ready for a relationship yet.
Lauriebell82 Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 i agree with everyone else. this dude is not ready to date again. maybe he was trying to be honest by saying he wasnt over his ex. be glad, u dont want to end up heart broken. tell him u are going to give him time to get over his ex, and run as fast as u can. move on and then u'll be able to find a guy who can be able to love u and only u.
Recommended Posts