DanielMadr Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I'll call. But generally, yeah, the guy does that. Then you know he really likes you. You are the great catch. You know he likes you. Or not? Im a little confused now. How does he know you really like him too btw?
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I think I told you about this. Yes, a guy I want to date knows I like him. I do show affection, I'm very affectionate! Especially if I like a guy! So it is not like I am making him feel threatened when he calls or something! Now once a relationship starts it is different. Then it is more 50/50. The last guy, like I said, was divorced, had kids, I drove to his house a lot, paid for meals a lot of the time...and I was more able to do that, but he still paid a lot. I know, Daniel, and everyone, you're thinking that I just want guys to kiss my a**, but I don't! I don't lead guys on who I am not interested in. If I get asked out, I will tell them that I see them as friends only! I am not an evil person to men. I like men! I love to date them.
ash519 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Maybe if you showed more interest in the first meeting he wouldnt bother with those potentional other girls. You didnt call him. Only answered his calls not very warmly? He ejected temporarily. Only to come back two month when you had enough time to analyze it. Daniel- I did show interest in the beginning, middle and up until the end. I was overly nice to him. Did his laundry, ironed his crap, slept with him, took him out. I also answered when he called and I called him as well, unless I started to notice he was not calling me back. He was playing games, big time. And he was a player type (turns out), no matter how good you were to him it was never enough. He wanted to play around. I was not to blame.
DanielMadr Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I think I told you about this. Yes, a guy I want to date knows I like him. I do show affection, I'm very affectionate! Especially if I like a guy! So it is not like I am making him feel threatened when he calls or something! Now once a relationship starts it is different. Then it is more 50/50. The last guy, like I said, was divorced, had kids, I drove to his house a lot, paid for meals a lot of the time...and I was more able to do that, but he still paid a lot. I know, Daniel, and everyone, you're thinking that I just want guys to kiss my a**, but I don't! I don't lead guys on who I am not interested in. If I get asked out, I will tell them that I see them as friends only! I am not an evil person to men. I like men! I love to date them. All I do is warning you, that your possible partners might come to conclusion, that all you want from a guy is kiss your azz. Its very refreshing for a guy when girl shows some good will and show iniciative. It tells us, she is giver. Can you tell us reasons why your relationship broke down?
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 We both cared for each other a lot, even went to France for 2 weeks last summer. However he has 2 teenage kids and he has custody of them for 6 months of the year. They are very unruly kids, and I didn't want to live in the household with the disrespect the kids gave. I mean it was yelling and screaming tantrums, and they refused to do any chores around the house. So the next step would be marriage and me moving in and I didn't want to live in that household until they graduated high school. Also I am considering having a child of my own and he did not want another child. So sometimes love is not enough, it is other factors which split you up! But that was in Aug. I have not dated anyone seriously since then, just on and off casual. plus I am moving in a couple months to the West Coast, Pacific NW. so I'm not that interested in dating anyway right now.
DanielMadr Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 We both cared for each other a lot, even went to France for 2 weeks last summer. However he has 2 teenage kids and he has custody of them for 6 months of the year. They are very unruly kids, and I didn't want to live in the household with the disrespect the kids gave. I mean it was yelling and screaming tantrums, and they refused to do any chores around the house. So the next step would be marriage and me moving in and I didn't want to live in that household until they graduated high school. Also I am considering having a child of my own and he did not want another child. So sometimes love is not enough, it is other factors which split you up! But that was in Aug. I have not dated anyone seriously since then, just on and off casual. plus I am moving in a couple months to the West Coast, Pacific NW. so I'm not that interested in dating anyway right now. You wasnt that into him Why France? Its pretty boring, expensive and full of arrogant French who refuse to speak English:D Come to Czeck republic. Its adventerous, cheap (beer costs less than 50cents), with amazing medieval architecture and its full of incommunicative Czechs.
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I want to visit Czech someday. I love Paris, though, and the Normandy coasts.I know enough French to get by, but yes, the French attitude came out. I was like, we are spending beaucoup bucks for this meal so you can have a job serving us, could you be nice to us, please?
DanielMadr Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I want to visit Czech someday. I love Paris, though, and the Normandy coasts.I know enough French to get by, but yes, the French attitude came out. I was like, we are spending beaucoup bucks for this meal so you can have a job serving us, could you be nice to us, please? The best way to deal with rude people in the France or west Europe is to speak Russian or at least pretend to. They are scared ****less, especially the French. They drop everything they are doing and try to comfort you even if they dont undestand a word. So funny. Capital of Czech republic is Prague. And I assure you its much better than Paris or London. Its not that big but the churches, cathedrals, castles, statues etc. give it really good atmosphere. Paris is more like 18th century. Prague is 16th century. And the rest of the country is also about castles. History just talks to you on every corner. 'There was decapitated 21 knights. There were officials thrown out of window. Here was muredered a king.....' Splendid.
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I will definitely have to do that next time in Europe. I want to go with my sister. My neighbor in the condo downstairs went to Prague last summer for a week, he said the same things, it was fabulous.
DanielMadr Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I will definitely have to do that next time in Europe. I want to go with my sister. My neighbor in the condo downstairs went to Prague last summer for a week, he said the same things, it was fabulous. Youd better hurry, Russian, Chinese and Arabic hords are closing down:eek: And we have really beautiful girls here. Not so sure about men, its none of my bussiness:o You can visit Budapest in Hungary too. It is also beautiful city.
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Well I would be interested in the men. Maybe they would be charmed and fascinated by the American woman visiting. I'll give you a call if we go there, we can save on hotel charges.
DanielMadr Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Well I would be interested in the men. Maybe they would be charmed and fascinated by the American woman visiting. I'll give you a call if we go there, we can save on hotel charges. I told you I do no one night stands;)
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 You might reconsider. My sister is my TWIN sister. How often does that come along? jk
Author SouthernT Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 Just wanted to throw another idea out there to everybody. As far as "chasing" and "game playing" I honestly believe that there is a difference between a guy playing games (which some of them do and I'm not saying they dont...) and on the flip side of that, there are women out there who are simply believe that a man is playing games soley based on the reason that a guy is not "courting" that particular female in the way SHE thinks he should be courting her. For example, some girls expect a guy to call everyday or once a week or whatever, just because a guy does not do this, does NOT mean that he is playing games. Make sense? And I think that some women need to actually stop and think about it for a second before getting upset with a potential guy because the fact of the matter is PLAIN and SIMPLE: Men THINK differently from women. It doesn't mean that the woman is wrong..it doesnt mean that the man is wrong....We are JUST DIFFERENT. And the sooner men and women start to think in this mind set...then its easier to move foward from that point. What does everybody think about this?
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I don't expect a guy to call everyday, but I know he really likes me if he does. Once a week means he's not really thinking of me too much. I mean how much effort does it take to pick up the phone?
stace79 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 IF a guy shows the appropriate level of respect and interest, THEN and ONLY THEN will he get MY full effort. There are way too many guys out there -- the majority of whom are just playing around and not serious about a relationship anyway -- to waste my time and affections on someone who may or may not put me first. I have come to the conclusion that I'm far better off, more productive and generally HAPPIER SINGLE and ALONE with just friends and family than I am working my butt off to please some man who is only halfheartedly into the relationship. What happened to honest, decent, hardworking, loving and respectable men??? Have they all gone extinct or what??? There is difference between ego boosting pursuit and laid back confident persistance. But I can tell you dont be surprised when they 'next' you on the grounds of you not showing interest. They would be stupid to try to win you when you dont play ball or just weakly throwing back time to time.
Trialbyfire Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Just wanted to throw another idea out there to everybody. As far as "chasing" and "game playing" I honestly believe that there is a difference between a guy playing games (which some of them do and I'm not saying they dont...) and on the flip side of that, there are women out there who are simply believe that a man is playing games soley based on the reason that a guy is not "courting" that particular female in the way SHE thinks he should be courting her. For example, some girls expect a guy to call everyday or once a week or whatever, just because a guy does not do this, does NOT mean that he is playing games. Make sense? And I think that some women need to actually stop and think about it for a second before getting upset with a potential guy because the fact of the matter is PLAIN and SIMPLE: Men THINK differently from women. It doesn't mean that the woman is wrong..it doesnt mean that the man is wrong....We are JUST DIFFERENT. And the sooner men and women start to think in this mind set...then its easier to move foward from that point. What does everybody think about this? This makes sense. If you reverse the genders, it would hold true. Most of us have the same basic desires (players exempted via firing squad) that we want someone who we can love, respect and trust.
2ndIINone Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 What happened to honest, decent, hardworking, loving and respectable men??? Have they all gone extinct or what???Here's one!!!! Unfortunately, it is my belief that most woman claim to want this type... but when they finally get it.... then they don't want it anymore. For the simple fact... it was too easy. Loving/respectable men get written off as too nice, too predictable... and overall, relatively boring. They get dumped for something more 'exciting'.... more 'exciting' ends up hurting the original dumper because of all the games played... then the dumper decides to call up the original 'boring' guy 3-4 months down the road.... for the simple ego boost they're looking for, were use to, but wasn't getting from Mr. Exciting. BTW... this holds true for guys as well. As I have known plenty o' guys that ditched a 'good' girl, for something prettier, sexy, more wild.... got treated like shi#, then went running back to the good ol' nice girl.
stace79 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Yeah, this will be my ex in about six months...Grrr. I think if you are younger the excitement thing holds true. But once you get past 25 (I think anyway, as a female) you want something stable, good, solid, caring. Or maybe I'm just the odd ball. I dunno...but drama drives me crazy. Now what I WILL tell you is that some of the "nice" guys I have met and dated (and typically dumped) were just not attractive to me. It wasn't really their personalities, or that they were too nice or whatever. I just wasn't really attracted to them right from the get-go, and I TRIED to make it work because they were treating me well and being, well, nice. Because I DO want that...but as everyone knows you really CANNOT force physical attraction. Sad, isn't it. Here's one!!!! BTW... this holds true for guys as well. As I have known plenty o' guys that ditched a 'good' girl, for something prettier, sexy, more wild.... got treated like shi#, then went running back to the good ol' nice girl.
2ndIINone Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 But once you get past 25 (I think anyway, as a female) you want something stable, good, solid, caring. Or maybe I'm just the odd ball. You're just the oddball... or should I say.... the exception? cause' my distant drama queen is over 33... with child... and continues to go after the most troublesom' drama filled unstable relationships that she can find. With two, count em', TWO divorces under her belt. While all along.... confiding in me about her problems. "Why can't I find someone like you??? How come we never dated???" ~ "Hello!!!!!!!!!! I tried that remember???" was always my response to her. Now it's just easier not to talk cause I hate seeing what she does to herself and her son. I figure, out of sight, outta mind. Now what I WILL tell you is that some of the "nice" guys I have met and dated (and typically dumped) were just not attractive to me. Now were these just 'average' looking guys or way above 'average'???.... reason I ask.... what if they were perfect 10's, with a genuine sweet, kind, caring, attitude.... typical "nice". Would ya be attracted then?
stace79 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 They were average to below average looking guys. Not hot by any stretch of the imagination...and now that I think about it, they were very "hick-ish"?? I guess that's what you'd call it. Not really my type. I don't have particulars about what I like, but I do know what I don't like. The one guy always dressed like a tourist (I live in Orlando). That was annoying. Anyway I am way off topic of this poor person's thread... Now were these just 'average' looking guys or way above 'average'???.... reason I ask.... what if they were perfect 10's, with a genuine sweet, kind, caring, attitude.... typical "nice". Would ya be attracted then?
Author SouthernT Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 A guy can be sweet, gentle, kind, loving....ALL of that....but all of that doesnt equal ATTRACTION which is very important I'm sure we all agree....And when that attraction is not there, then that person simply starts to get on your nerves....
fallendisguise Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 Now were these just 'average' looking guys or way above 'average'???.... reason I ask.... what if they were perfect 10's, with a genuine sweet, kind, caring, attitude.... typical "nice". Would ya be attracted then? I definitely would be... lol. BUT, you also have to take in to account that you need to have chemistry with that person. I know that probably doesn't make much sense. How do I explain? You can meet someone who is everything mentioned above, but say they don't have a sense of humor and you do, or you find that they are boring, or dumb as rocks, etc.... In other words, they can have all that was mentioned above and you can have a physical attraction, but you also need to have the mental/emotional attraction as well. I've actually been in that situation. I was attracted in everyway, but we didn't have that "chemistry." We turned out to be great friends, but it never turned into a relationship. To SouthernT, I think he either has someone else, is interested but not ready to take things to the next level and make the effort, or he could still have issues over his ex and may not be ready. Whatever his situation is, know one thing. What he is doing and how he is handling it is not ok. I agree with some of the other people on here as far as showing your cards a little bit. If he continues to do what he is doing after that, then drop him. When you are interested in someone, whether it be a romantic or friendship way, you make more of an effort.
fallendisguise Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 One last thing. Sorry for the double post. I wasn't going to mention this because I could be completely wrong. But to me, it almost sounds like he could still be in that relationship with his ex. For example, he realizes things aren't working out, so he leaves her and then you come in to play. Then, he decides to give it another try, hence the "disappearing act." Then he realizes again it's not working and starts calling you again, and so on and so forth. So it could be he is interested but is too chicken s**t to actually cut his ex off because its comfortable, its what he's used to. I could be wrong and probably am. But, it occured to me because I've actually been in that situation.
2ndIINone Posted April 5, 2007 Posted April 5, 2007 A guy can be sweet, gentle, kind, loving....ALL of thatdon't laugh, but would you say these qualities are attraction killers? I have my reasons/theories for asking... when I personally display these qualites... women tend to shy away. But when I turn on the 'coldness'.... they quickly pursue. Which is why some talk about the challenge , the truth behind it and how the mind works. btw... So it could be he is interested but is too chicken s**t to actually cut his ex off because its comfortable, its what he's used to. this is common and not so far fetched from what could be happening. My advice to her was to back off... stand her ground and see what his intentions really are, through his actions.
Recommended Posts